Real Women
So, I'm a moderator on this kickass feminist comics forum. And recently, there's been a bit of a kerfluffle in one thread regarding the definition of "butch" and the use of derogatory language to describe women who don't fit traditionally acceptable definitions of femininity, and, inevitably, someone has invoked the descriptive epithet "real woman."
The "real women" trope pushes my buttons like few other clichés, partly because it's usually coming from people or causes that are at least ostensibly feminist. "Real women have curves." "Real women use power tools." "Real women are affiliated with my cause celebré."
The problem with those statements isn't that they're false--real women do, in fact, have curves and use power tools. It's that they connotatively limit the definition of "real women" as profoundly as the stereotypes they're designed to counter, and they marginalize women whose bodies and lives fall outside those narrow lines. Even the ones I've encountered that were obviously to be inclusive or poke fun at spurious limitations--"Real women have vaginas," or "Real women have two X chromosomes"--marginalize an awful lot of real women.
Here's what I know about real women:
Real women have curves.
Real woman have flat chests and narrow hips.
Real women come in all ethnicities, sizes, and sexual orientations.
Real women are stone butch.
Real women are high femme.
Real women are vanilla.
Real women are kinky.
Real women are tops.
Real women are bottoms.
Real women are switches.
Real women love their bodies.
Real women hate their bodies.
Real women have vaginal orgasms.
Real women have clitoral orgasms.
Real women have multiple orgasms.
Real women have no orgasms.
Real women have beards.
Real women have vaginas.
Real women have penises.
Real women have two X chromosomes.
Real women have one X chromosome.
Real women have ovaries.
Real women have testicles.
Real women have no discernible sex organs.
Real women wear heels.
Real women wear combat boots.
Real women go barefoot.
Real women do not have feet.
Real women are confident.
Real women are painfully shy.
Real women are mothers.
Real women are fathers.
Real women are childless.
Real women are infertile.
Real women are frequently mistaken for men.
Real women use wheelchairs.
Real women are deaf.
Real women have perfect pitch.
Real women have Down's Syndrome.
Real women have Turner's Syndrome.
Real women are virgins.
Real women are monamorous.
Real women are polyamorous.
Real women are cisgendered.
Real women are transgendered.
Real women are transvestites.
Real women are feminist.
Real women are conservative.
Real women are hypocrites.
Real women use female pronouns.
Real women use male pronouns.
Real women use gender-neutral pronouns.
Real women are atheist.
Real women are devoutly religious.
Real women are poor.
Real women are rich.
Real women are post-menopausal.
Real women are bull dykes.
Real women are debutantes.
Real women have blue-painted toenails.
Real women are allergic to celery.
Real women need glasses for driving, but not for reading.
Real women letter comic books.
Real women wonder if they're real women.
Real women are described by some, all, or none of the things I've just listed.
And none of those women are any more or less real or any more or less women than others.
What it means to be a woman is defined and redefined by the body, life, and experience of each woman. No more, and certainly no less.
The "real women" trope pushes my buttons like few other clichés, partly because it's usually coming from people or causes that are at least ostensibly feminist. "Real women have curves." "Real women use power tools." "Real women are affiliated with my cause celebré."
The problem with those statements isn't that they're false--real women do, in fact, have curves and use power tools. It's that they connotatively limit the definition of "real women" as profoundly as the stereotypes they're designed to counter, and they marginalize women whose bodies and lives fall outside those narrow lines. Even the ones I've encountered that were obviously to be inclusive or poke fun at spurious limitations--"Real women have vaginas," or "Real women have two X chromosomes"--marginalize an awful lot of real women.
Here's what I know about real women:
Real women have curves.
Real woman have flat chests and narrow hips.
Real women come in all ethnicities, sizes, and sexual orientations.
Real women are stone butch.
Real women are high femme.
Real women are vanilla.
Real women are kinky.
Real women are tops.
Real women are bottoms.
Real women are switches.
Real women love their bodies.
Real women hate their bodies.
Real women have vaginal orgasms.
Real women have clitoral orgasms.
Real women have multiple orgasms.
Real women have no orgasms.
Real women have beards.
Real women have vaginas.
Real women have penises.
Real women have two X chromosomes.
Real women have one X chromosome.
Real women have ovaries.
Real women have testicles.
Real women have no discernible sex organs.
Real women wear heels.
Real women wear combat boots.
Real women go barefoot.
Real women do not have feet.
Real women are confident.
Real women are painfully shy.
Real women are mothers.
Real women are fathers.
Real women are childless.
Real women are infertile.
Real women are frequently mistaken for men.
Real women use wheelchairs.
Real women are deaf.
Real women have perfect pitch.
Real women have Down's Syndrome.
Real women have Turner's Syndrome.
Real women are virgins.
Real women are monamorous.
Real women are polyamorous.
Real women are cisgendered.
Real women are transgendered.
Real women are transvestites.
Real women are feminist.
Real women are conservative.
Real women are hypocrites.
Real women use female pronouns.
Real women use male pronouns.
Real women use gender-neutral pronouns.
Real women are atheist.
Real women are devoutly religious.
Real women are poor.
Real women are rich.
Real women are post-menopausal.
Real women are bull dykes.
Real women are debutantes.
Real women have blue-painted toenails.
Real women are allergic to celery.
Real women need glasses for driving, but not for reading.
Real women letter comic books.
Real women wonder if they're real women.
Real women are described by some, all, or none of the things I've just listed.
And none of those women are any more or less real or any more or less women than others.
What it means to be a woman is defined and redefined by the body, life, and experience of each woman. No more, and certainly no less.