||positive reinforcement can do wonders for your happiness.||
coincidentally enough, I got the job at Sushi Hana. to my dismay, my euphoria would never prove to sink in. there were aspects of the job I enjoyed and aspects I didn't enjoy (like any sort of job of course). the problem was not that I couldn't easily handle the work. the real problem was my bosses. now I may have been spoiled when it comes to bosses with my previous job, but these guys were just annoying. it was my first day and they were already aggravating me with their constant pestering. perhaps I should set one thing straight here: I am a hard worker. the only reason I will be slow at a task is if it's new to me. so to have these two men independently telling me I need to work faster and better is frustrating. plus I could tell right away they were the type of people who would only see my mistakes. not what I want in a supervisor, thank you. the other factor in the equation was time itself. I asked myself: do I really want to work here for the entire summer and beyond? the answer was no. and so my assumed dream job proved to be nothing more than a passing fantasy.
but on to better things.
the weekend was grand. here's a quick summary:
Saturday: I had the house to myself. hung out in the sun for a good part of the day, saw Nick's new condo, had fun whittling away a bit of time with Gretchen and him. then I spent the rest of the sunny afternoon at the waterfront with my feet soaking. yay! went home for a delicious dinner (really good homemade baked macaroni and cheese), and then ran off to go see a movie with Miranders and Brandon and Luke. the weather had shifted dramatically and the carride proved to be a slightly alarming drive through large puddles with less-than-safe visibility. the highlight was the lightning that kept blasting away in front of me every few seconds as I drove. pretty spectacular, especially the double tongued beast that lanced across my vision at the height of highway 500. the movie proved to be entertaining but needlessly ridiculous. I'll give you one guess as to what it was.
Sunday: nothing of consequence happened today, although my much-neglected DS got a (un)healthy amount of playtime.
Monday: finally getting the hang of a song I've been playing on the piano. Waltz for the Moon from FF8*. cleaned up my room, bought supplies for some mango danishes I'll be making for Wednesday morning's breakfast, and took out all the burned CDs I've been meaning to decorate. I got done with half of them. then I went to a barbecue in North Portland, invited by Nick and Gretchen. I was easily the youngest one there, and because of my lack of life experience had trouble contributing to much of the conversation. but I enjoyed myself as much as I could. I'm glad that I at least forced myself into the situation. stepping out of my comfort zone is always important.
this is a good time to reiterate my annoyance with my inability to function in a foreign social setting. perhaps it's because I don't read enough of the news or magazines. perhaps in the aforementioned case, it's because I just haven't done a lot with my life yet or come to understand the way opening a small business might work. but in many cases it's just because I am at a complete loss on how to open up to new people. and yet because of it, I know I appear boring, unintelligent, and aloof. i don't want to be always giving off this air. but again and again and again and again, I find myself trapped in a tiny room in my mind, with this failing the most probable cause...
now that it is an established problem I want to figure out how to treat it. I can't just keep complaining about it: if I want to change, it'd be good to do it now. so I guess I'll be seeking out books or a therapist or a mentor or something. anything to get my social skills up to scratch. it's embarrassing to continually be the shy, unconfident person at the back of the conversation. where in high school I was called cool and mature for my shy reserve, as I get older and older it has now become a sword of Damocles just waiting to fall everytime I step foot into a room with strangers.
as a last note before I dematerialize into the Interwebosphere, I really want to get some new hobbies. preferably some that are active and make me sweat. I'm thinking swimming, hiking, some sort of game with a ball involved? if you feel the same, then I suggest we put our powers together and get cracking. I guess it all starts with me just getting out of the house; I've been doing a lot more of that lately. also, the YMCA has a summer pass for only 60 dollars. the plan is that once I figure out its peak hours of operation I can thereby avoid these times of day like the plague. it's as good a place as any to start with.
*this makes me realize just how much of a gamer geek I am. sometimes your roots can't help but show. :>
but on to better things.
the weekend was grand. here's a quick summary:
Saturday: I had the house to myself. hung out in the sun for a good part of the day, saw Nick's new condo, had fun whittling away a bit of time with Gretchen and him. then I spent the rest of the sunny afternoon at the waterfront with my feet soaking. yay! went home for a delicious dinner (really good homemade baked macaroni and cheese), and then ran off to go see a movie with Miranders and Brandon and Luke. the weather had shifted dramatically and the carride proved to be a slightly alarming drive through large puddles with less-than-safe visibility. the highlight was the lightning that kept blasting away in front of me every few seconds as I drove. pretty spectacular, especially the double tongued beast that lanced across my vision at the height of highway 500. the movie proved to be entertaining but needlessly ridiculous. I'll give you one guess as to what it was.
Sunday: nothing of consequence happened today, although my much-neglected DS got a (un)healthy amount of playtime.
Monday: finally getting the hang of a song I've been playing on the piano. Waltz for the Moon from FF8*. cleaned up my room, bought supplies for some mango danishes I'll be making for Wednesday morning's breakfast, and took out all the burned CDs I've been meaning to decorate. I got done with half of them. then I went to a barbecue in North Portland, invited by Nick and Gretchen. I was easily the youngest one there, and because of my lack of life experience had trouble contributing to much of the conversation. but I enjoyed myself as much as I could. I'm glad that I at least forced myself into the situation. stepping out of my comfort zone is always important.
this is a good time to reiterate my annoyance with my inability to function in a foreign social setting. perhaps it's because I don't read enough of the news or magazines. perhaps in the aforementioned case, it's because I just haven't done a lot with my life yet or come to understand the way opening a small business might work. but in many cases it's just because I am at a complete loss on how to open up to new people. and yet because of it, I know I appear boring, unintelligent, and aloof. i don't want to be always giving off this air. but again and again and again and again, I find myself trapped in a tiny room in my mind, with this failing the most probable cause...
now that it is an established problem I want to figure out how to treat it. I can't just keep complaining about it: if I want to change, it'd be good to do it now. so I guess I'll be seeking out books or a therapist or a mentor or something. anything to get my social skills up to scratch. it's embarrassing to continually be the shy, unconfident person at the back of the conversation. where in high school I was called cool and mature for my shy reserve, as I get older and older it has now become a sword of Damocles just waiting to fall everytime I step foot into a room with strangers.
as a last note before I dematerialize into the Interwebosphere, I really want to get some new hobbies. preferably some that are active and make me sweat. I'm thinking swimming, hiking, some sort of game with a ball involved? if you feel the same, then I suggest we put our powers together and get cracking. I guess it all starts with me just getting out of the house; I've been doing a lot more of that lately. also, the YMCA has a summer pass for only 60 dollars. the plan is that once I figure out its peak hours of operation I can thereby avoid these times of day like the plague. it's as good a place as any to start with.
*this makes me realize just how much of a gamer geek I am. sometimes your roots can't help but show. :>