talkin to Jesus
Hey Jesus,
So I found today to be one of those days that sometimes come along. It was a real Day of a day. Sometimes I feel like the "Day" in itself is so inappropriate when it comes to situational temporality - Wait is that even a word? I don't know, but regardless of if it is or isn't, a true Day feels to me different than the day where the sun revolves once around the Earth. How is it different? I don't know. Maybe you know what I mean though. When you have certain periods of time, say maybe for a week, maybe for a month, maybe for a mere six hours, when you see many different lessons of life and coincidences and the way the world works a little and exchanges with people and events that cut in to your life and chance and you see yourself too yes you see yourself very much so. I'm beginning to feel a little self-involved. Wait, but isn't everyone? I find it hard to be selfless. (I was going to write "these days" but then realized it's nothing new) I wish desperately that I could be. And I tell myself that I can't do good things and be generous all the time, and that it's naive to think so (or to want to?). But but but. I still feel way too self-involved for my own good. Maybe it's just the environment. I don't want to diminish it's influence in my life for truly I think there's a lot to be said there. For that facet of my life. Hmmm... I don't know. I'm losing my train of thought. I want to sound smart or something. I try to do this a lot. I pretend a lot. I think by getting to know myself I'm just realizing all these stupid little traits about me that are bad. Which can be a good thing I think, because then I can attempt to change them, and be a better person. One of these traits is that I pretend a lot. [Editor's Note: Like now for instance.] Sure sure. We all have our social roles. You're a martyr. I'm an actor. I accept this. I am a creature of this habit just like anyone else. Maybe if it were all up to me, I wouldn't be. But it's not: I'm not God (haha do I even look like your dad at all?) and I'm definitely not someone special. These aren't new hard jagged edges of truth here. I'm sure you know it too. Well, maybe you at least can say you're special. Argh. It's just. We're meant to think we're special. Like our lives are eternal and all-encompassing in their importance, and we are invincible to a certain degree in the fact that we know deep deep down that our 'selves' our 'souls' our 'consciousnesses' will last forever and have always ever been. Okay okay. I know I'm exaggerating and everyone doesn't think that. Hell, many people don't. They're realistic, sensible people; sensible enough to keep flights-of-fancy such as this diatribe to a bare minimum. Eh, well. They then disprove my entire point. They are special. They see the world in a monochrome pallete of rights and wrongs and proofs and solidity. I think this is the natural course of a scientific mind. With the power of scientific reasoning, with Theoretically Modifiably Theoretic Truths at their disposal, LIFE AS WE KNOW IT is dissected, examined, identified, boxed in and then cataloged. And used to make debates fairly one-sided. The facts as it were, is our society's bread and butter. We crave the truth in every aspect. The truth of our lives. The truth of our purpose. The truth of a day. The truth in a person. The truth of our careers. The truth of an artform. The truth of a culture. The truth of an experience. The truth of our selves. It is of course being equated to purity in this sense. But truth if purity! It is such if nothing else. It is the disinfectant that eradicates doubt-germs with ease! ... I don't know where I'm going with this. I've changed my point three times if I'm counting (and I'm definitely not) and I'm not going to format this or even reread it before publishing it in Internet. I'm not because I just want to convert this silly boxing match of a thought process into words and be done with it. Pesky voices, man. (Well, that was enough of an opening paragraph I guess.)
Today I woke up in a friend's bed, and made my sloppy way back home, feeling quite at peace with the world after a night of heavy drinking and happy times with a majority of wonderful people. I bought three new CDs of gloerious musicality, ill-fitting gym clothes now in need of exchange, and a coffee. Then I waited for my best friend to get here from his Northern forest town of trees. I passed the time by reading the rest of the archives of Dr. McNinja. Incidentally, I discovered bananas taste better if you're wearing a matching color hoodie. Finally after my taste buds praised the glory of our founding fathers because without them there might not be an America because without America there might not be free industry because without free industry there might not be L.A. because without both there might not be American Apparel because without American Apparel bananas would taste still mundane as ever because shit that's where I got the freakin' yellow hoodie from (come on Jesus, keep up with me here), my best friend arrived! Then we drove to the downtown arena, parked and began to roam the streets in search of wine women and eats. A funny thing about my best friend: Even though the years and months and miles have long kept us distant, my best friend and I have always felt easy in each other's company. We laugh and joke and share most of our lives with each other. We're more like brothers really. Family. It's true enough. His mother is even best friends with my mother as well. Life has its fair share of serendipitous meetings. We eventually found eats, we tried not to look at women in general and my best friend refused to buy wine for me even though I asked him twice. And I even said "Please." Well... Now that I think of it Jesus I might not have. I understand his decision now. People without etiquette don't deserve alcohol, I say.
Speaking of serendipitous meetings, I found a reason for excitement tonight from the misadventure known as Wizard People, Dear Reader, a lesson in the ways of expectation, calamity, generosity, friendship, perseverance, chance encounters, humanity, synchronization, and absent-minded dumbass-ery. Though the picture I paint is speckled with blood and turquoise trim, you can check out the real thing at the website. The synopsis though... is... It's basically the child that is born when Mystery Science Theater 3000 has sex with an audio book of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Yes, quite.
Because of Brad Neely and God (okay mostly God..... Fine, you too Jesus. you too), I had an incredible night. Why was it incredible? Because even though you already know:
--Car battery was totally dead for no good reason (btw Real funny),
--Enlisted the help of two-doors-down neighbor girl Theresa,
--Blocked traffic together after she went and bought jumper cables to help me out,
--Car still didn't start: Dad says he is coming to my rescue,
--Doing stuff under the hood of said car whilst wearing backwards hat add dirty rag and wrench in back pocket,
--Flaking Out Karma Comeuppance acquired by way of past-roommate and co,
--Candid, friendly homeless youths (2) were met on the street and done business with
--Nameless Homeless Youth Chef was pretty cool and a skilled entrepreneur,
--Snowman (other homeless youth) was extremely polite, anecdotal and swell person overall,
--Special Cheesecake for 10 dollars obtained (all mine to be saved for Special Day),
--Actual Human conversations (two of them!) and Hollywood Video account, interacted comfortably in and received, respectively,
--"Is this Tom? Hey this is Micah from Hollywood Video. You actually forgot to grab your licence and debit card when you left. I'll just put them in the safe for you and you can come get them when you need them." and "Oh my God! Thank you!",
--Woah Not Homeless Anymore Amber calls out my name and she's my other two-doors-down neighbour girl,
--Wizard People, Dear Reader proves very difficult to sync if high or otherwise sober,
--Wizard People not as professional as per assumptions,
--Wizard People still manages to tickle funny bone alarmingly easily,
--Locked myself out of the basement at 3am; saved by another neighbor,
--Made good choices.
So I guess the real moral here is that I shouldn't be allowed to drive a vehicle that can potentially kill an Actual Human. Oh and that my brain should be made the property of the state until proof of ownership is provided. And that the real lessons in life are far too obtuse to be put into words. And that some fools don't know when to shut the hell up already (like me)! But you know how that is Jesus. You were pretty preachy yourself in your Day. Don't try to deny it either! I saw the movie. Oh and just between you and me and the general public of Internet, sorry I haven't talked to you in so long. Then again I can't take all the blame here. We'd be chillin up in Heaven right now if you hadn't bailed on Earth. Oh oh oh. It's okay. I understand totally. You were all set to come back in a few years after your ascended to Heaven. But it's Heaven, man! And after dying for our sins I totally get you having your eyes opened to how lame Earth can be. I wouldn't come back either. Still, you could at least tell everybody else. I know you're not the confrontational type but it's been 2000 years man! Give these damn people a break already! They're creating new religions with you in them because they're getting so freakin bored. Yes, Mormonism. I'm talking to you.
The words are spouting forth like a water faucet. Make it stop!!!
Sincerely your faithful sheep or lamb or whatever,
Tom
P.S. Could you tell your Dad he did real good on the whole "food is tasty" thing? I've always found it extremely delicious for me and extremely ironic for weak-willed obese people. Though I have to say that irony is just a little bit more delicious than fried zucchini, but fried zucchini wouldn't even make sense if it weren't for your dad.
P.P.S. I totally said "You're my savior" tonight to Theresa and imagined you scowling at me. Oh you and that scowl of yours!
So I found today to be one of those days that sometimes come along. It was a real Day of a day. Sometimes I feel like the "Day" in itself is so inappropriate when it comes to situational temporality - Wait is that even a word? I don't know, but regardless of if it is or isn't, a true Day feels to me different than the day where the sun revolves once around the Earth. How is it different? I don't know. Maybe you know what I mean though. When you have certain periods of time, say maybe for a week, maybe for a month, maybe for a mere six hours, when you see many different lessons of life and coincidences and the way the world works a little and exchanges with people and events that cut in to your life and chance and you see yourself too yes you see yourself very much so. I'm beginning to feel a little self-involved. Wait, but isn't everyone? I find it hard to be selfless. (I was going to write "these days" but then realized it's nothing new) I wish desperately that I could be. And I tell myself that I can't do good things and be generous all the time, and that it's naive to think so (or to want to?). But but but. I still feel way too self-involved for my own good. Maybe it's just the environment. I don't want to diminish it's influence in my life for truly I think there's a lot to be said there. For that facet of my life. Hmmm... I don't know. I'm losing my train of thought. I want to sound smart or something. I try to do this a lot. I pretend a lot. I think by getting to know myself I'm just realizing all these stupid little traits about me that are bad. Which can be a good thing I think, because then I can attempt to change them, and be a better person. One of these traits is that I pretend a lot. [Editor's Note: Like now for instance.] Sure sure. We all have our social roles. You're a martyr. I'm an actor. I accept this. I am a creature of this habit just like anyone else. Maybe if it were all up to me, I wouldn't be. But it's not: I'm not God (haha do I even look like your dad at all?) and I'm definitely not someone special. These aren't new hard jagged edges of truth here. I'm sure you know it too. Well, maybe you at least can say you're special. Argh. It's just. We're meant to think we're special. Like our lives are eternal and all-encompassing in their importance, and we are invincible to a certain degree in the fact that we know deep deep down that our 'selves' our 'souls' our 'consciousnesses' will last forever and have always ever been. Okay okay. I know I'm exaggerating and everyone doesn't think that. Hell, many people don't. They're realistic, sensible people; sensible enough to keep flights-of-fancy such as this diatribe to a bare minimum. Eh, well. They then disprove my entire point. They are special. They see the world in a monochrome pallete of rights and wrongs and proofs and solidity. I think this is the natural course of a scientific mind. With the power of scientific reasoning, with Theoretically Modifiably Theoretic Truths at their disposal, LIFE AS WE KNOW IT is dissected, examined, identified, boxed in and then cataloged. And used to make debates fairly one-sided. The facts as it were, is our society's bread and butter. We crave the truth in every aspect. The truth of our lives. The truth of our purpose. The truth of a day. The truth in a person. The truth of our careers. The truth of an artform. The truth of a culture. The truth of an experience. The truth of our selves. It is of course being equated to purity in this sense. But truth if purity! It is such if nothing else. It is the disinfectant that eradicates doubt-germs with ease! ... I don't know where I'm going with this. I've changed my point three times if I'm counting (and I'm definitely not) and I'm not going to format this or even reread it before publishing it in Internet. I'm not because I just want to convert this silly boxing match of a thought process into words and be done with it. Pesky voices, man. (Well, that was enough of an opening paragraph I guess.)
Today I woke up in a friend's bed, and made my sloppy way back home, feeling quite at peace with the world after a night of heavy drinking and happy times with a majority of wonderful people. I bought three new CDs of gloerious musicality, ill-fitting gym clothes now in need of exchange, and a coffee. Then I waited for my best friend to get here from his Northern forest town of trees. I passed the time by reading the rest of the archives of Dr. McNinja. Incidentally, I discovered bananas taste better if you're wearing a matching color hoodie. Finally after my taste buds praised the glory of our founding fathers because without them there might not be an America because without America there might not be free industry because without free industry there might not be L.A. because without both there might not be American Apparel because without American Apparel bananas would taste still mundane as ever because shit that's where I got the freakin' yellow hoodie from (come on Jesus, keep up with me here), my best friend arrived! Then we drove to the downtown arena, parked and began to roam the streets in search of wine women and eats. A funny thing about my best friend: Even though the years and months and miles have long kept us distant, my best friend and I have always felt easy in each other's company. We laugh and joke and share most of our lives with each other. We're more like brothers really. Family. It's true enough. His mother is even best friends with my mother as well. Life has its fair share of serendipitous meetings. We eventually found eats, we tried not to look at women in general and my best friend refused to buy wine for me even though I asked him twice. And I even said "Please." Well... Now that I think of it Jesus I might not have. I understand his decision now. People without etiquette don't deserve alcohol, I say.
Speaking of serendipitous meetings, I found a reason for excitement tonight from the misadventure known as Wizard People, Dear Reader, a lesson in the ways of expectation, calamity, generosity, friendship, perseverance, chance encounters, humanity, synchronization, and absent-minded dumbass-ery. Though the picture I paint is speckled with blood and turquoise trim, you can check out the real thing at the website. The synopsis though... is... It's basically the child that is born when Mystery Science Theater 3000 has sex with an audio book of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Yes, quite.
Because of Brad Neely and God (okay mostly God..... Fine, you too Jesus. you too), I had an incredible night. Why was it incredible? Because even though you already know:
--Car battery was totally dead for no good reason (btw Real funny),
--Enlisted the help of two-doors-down neighbor girl Theresa,
--Blocked traffic together after she went and bought jumper cables to help me out,
--Car still didn't start: Dad says he is coming to my rescue,
--Doing stuff under the hood of said car whilst wearing backwards hat add dirty rag and wrench in back pocket,
--Flaking Out Karma Comeuppance acquired by way of past-roommate and co,
--Candid, friendly homeless youths (2) were met on the street and done business with
--Nameless Homeless Youth Chef was pretty cool and a skilled entrepreneur,
--Snowman (other homeless youth) was extremely polite, anecdotal and swell person overall,
--Special Cheesecake for 10 dollars obtained (all mine to be saved for Special Day),
--Actual Human conversations (two of them!) and Hollywood Video account, interacted comfortably in and received, respectively,
--"Is this Tom? Hey this is Micah from Hollywood Video. You actually forgot to grab your licence and debit card when you left. I'll just put them in the safe for you and you can come get them when you need them." and "Oh my God! Thank you!",
--Woah Not Homeless Anymore Amber calls out my name and she's my other two-doors-down neighbour girl,
--Wizard People, Dear Reader proves very difficult to sync if high or otherwise sober,
--Wizard People not as professional as per assumptions,
--Wizard People still manages to tickle funny bone alarmingly easily,
--Locked myself out of the basement at 3am; saved by another neighbor,
--Made good choices.
So I guess the real moral here is that I shouldn't be allowed to drive a vehicle that can potentially kill an Actual Human. Oh and that my brain should be made the property of the state until proof of ownership is provided. And that the real lessons in life are far too obtuse to be put into words. And that some fools don't know when to shut the hell up already (like me)! But you know how that is Jesus. You were pretty preachy yourself in your Day. Don't try to deny it either! I saw the movie. Oh and just between you and me and the general public of Internet, sorry I haven't talked to you in so long. Then again I can't take all the blame here. We'd be chillin up in Heaven right now if you hadn't bailed on Earth. Oh oh oh. It's okay. I understand totally. You were all set to come back in a few years after your ascended to Heaven. But it's Heaven, man! And after dying for our sins I totally get you having your eyes opened to how lame Earth can be. I wouldn't come back either. Still, you could at least tell everybody else. I know you're not the confrontational type but it's been 2000 years man! Give these damn people a break already! They're creating new religions with you in them because they're getting so freakin bored. Yes, Mormonism. I'm talking to you.
The words are spouting forth like a water faucet. Make it stop!!!
Sincerely your faithful sheep or lamb or whatever,
Tom
P.S. Could you tell your Dad he did real good on the whole "food is tasty" thing? I've always found it extremely delicious for me and extremely ironic for weak-willed obese people. Though I have to say that irony is just a little bit more delicious than fried zucchini, but fried zucchini wouldn't even make sense if it weren't for your dad.
P.P.S. I totally said "You're my savior" tonight to Theresa and imagined you scowling at me. Oh you and that scowl of yours!