"keep this ship coming and going"
I went to New York...a month or two ago?
Some of my favorite memories are with these two ladies.
I'm glad someone does.
I have no idea when this was taken...two weeks ago? Gina made her way back to Rockford. Damn Gina.
This was...last Tuesday? Wednesday?
Saturday.
I wrote some obituaries for the newspaper we use in the Christie. These are a few of my favorites:
Andrew Barber, 27
MANCHESTER- Died suddenly of shock when a girl told him that she liked him. Andrew has resided in his mothers’ basement for almost 60 years, moving away only once while he worked as a traveling “Pink Ranger” performing at children’s birthday parties. This ended when Bobby Baker realized that his favorite female ranger had, in fact, a very small, but very present, package (which means wiener). The girl responsible is insistent that it is known that Andrew died before she was able to finish her sentence, “As a friend”. She feels sort of badly- but she’s confident she’ll get over it. [Edit: she informed our paper after returning home from this interview, that she was, in fact, over it.]
Tessa Castaneda, 20
PORTSMOUTH- Tessa died Thursday after watching a friend loose control of her bike and collide into a crate of chickens, resulting in said friends pants falling down. Tessa literally laughed her head off.
Alex Christopher McIntyre, 22
SUNNYOAKS- The illegitimate son of Billy Joel died Thursday after a freakish and exceptionally gay accident. Once returning home from a long intense night of singing Karaoke, Alex partook in one of his favorite hobbies: Hula-Hooping to the soundtrack of Funny Girl. Sadly, the record player he was using started to skip, causing Alex to Hula-Hoop himself to death. Funeral takes place Saturday night at his favorite karaoke spot “The Filling Station” come and sing a tribute.
Alison Muraski, 29
LIVERPOOL- Died Tuesday during a trip to the United States to visit “The Cheese Chalet” in Green bay Wisconsin. She always had a fascination with the history of cheese, and had often stated that her native country’s cheese tastes like soap. She saved her entire life for this trip. When she arrived in Wisconsin she reportedly ate 4 wheels of Munster, 6 blocks of sharp cheddar, 2 pounds of cheese curds, and a nibble of Limburger before falling down dead. Gluttony has never been so glamorous
Some of my favorite memories are with these two ladies.
I'm glad someone does.
I have no idea when this was taken...two weeks ago? Gina made her way back to Rockford. Damn Gina.
This was...last Tuesday? Wednesday?
Saturday.
I wrote some obituaries for the newspaper we use in the Christie. These are a few of my favorites:
Andrew Barber, 27
MANCHESTER- Died suddenly of shock when a girl told him that she liked him. Andrew has resided in his mothers’ basement for almost 60 years, moving away only once while he worked as a traveling “Pink Ranger” performing at children’s birthday parties. This ended when Bobby Baker realized that his favorite female ranger had, in fact, a very small, but very present, package (which means wiener). The girl responsible is insistent that it is known that Andrew died before she was able to finish her sentence, “As a friend”. She feels sort of badly- but she’s confident she’ll get over it. [Edit: she informed our paper after returning home from this interview, that she was, in fact, over it.]
Tessa Castaneda, 20
PORTSMOUTH- Tessa died Thursday after watching a friend loose control of her bike and collide into a crate of chickens, resulting in said friends pants falling down. Tessa literally laughed her head off.
Alex Christopher McIntyre, 22
SUNNYOAKS- The illegitimate son of Billy Joel died Thursday after a freakish and exceptionally gay accident. Once returning home from a long intense night of singing Karaoke, Alex partook in one of his favorite hobbies: Hula-Hooping to the soundtrack of Funny Girl. Sadly, the record player he was using started to skip, causing Alex to Hula-Hoop himself to death. Funeral takes place Saturday night at his favorite karaoke spot “The Filling Station” come and sing a tribute.
Alison Muraski, 29
LIVERPOOL- Died Tuesday during a trip to the United States to visit “The Cheese Chalet” in Green bay Wisconsin. She always had a fascination with the history of cheese, and had often stated that her native country’s cheese tastes like soap. She saved her entire life for this trip. When she arrived in Wisconsin she reportedly ate 4 wheels of Munster, 6 blocks of sharp cheddar, 2 pounds of cheese curds, and a nibble of Limburger before falling down dead. Gluttony has never been so glamorous