ON THE PRESERVATION OF EMPIRE - PART 1
"I WANT THE WORLD TO STOP" - (Belle & Sebastian)
(Oct 12? 5:pm): Well, it's day #3 of 98% disability, only beginning to clear.
The greatest walkers in the world are the Aussies. The worst walkers in the world are the American'ts, who walk half as much as the Aussies. Being an Aussie, living in America, I will tell you why this is. It's because America sucks. I LOVE walking, but I absolutely HATE walking in America. Why? Because there's too much bullshit to contend with. Rude, crazy, judgmental people, and nothing spectacular to look at - unless you pay a fee and go to a park - out of your way. Traffic is king here, and it wants to run you over. People throw things at you and yell things at you - oh, did I say "people"? I meant "cowards". If you are walking, you are immediately taken for a fool, a loser, a homeless person - and these types of people are considered to be dirt, of little soul or value, in this Calvinist system. Most everyone, therefore, are spiritually divorced from the Earth. And that partly explains why the American Empire is destroying the planet. There is no profit in walking and, when push comes to shove, because MONEY IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS HERE. All else are lies and delusions. Scams and Ponzi schemes. Only the true survivors - the sociopaths - know this: Nothing and no one is to be trusted or respected.
An Aussie LJ friend dropped me recently - a reticent, artistic person, with simple needs and pleasures, living close to the Earth. It saddens me that someone like this should drop me, for I know it is because she was simply offended by my social and political critiques, of life in America. But, they are perspectives of some real shit that is going down... man... here in this most important country in the universe. They aren't things I want to say - I am merely observing, exposing, analyzing, critiquing - out of an obligation to do so. Any imprisoned Aussie would do the same - expose hypocrisy, cruelty, injustice - with perhaps an ounce of madness. I'd much rather be a happy, contented person, living amongst the Kookaburras. Walking along, with a tucker bag, a tin cup, and a Sheila named Bruce.
THE COMING GLOBAL FAMINE: Well, it always refreshes me when I hear sensible voices coming out of Australia, land of the walkers. Just listened to an Aussie speaking of the coming global famine. http://www.sciencealert.com.au . They are so together, close to nature, practical, independent.
And, at the moment, I am so tired I must crash...
(Oct 12? - 7:pm): ok...
So polite, so considerate, so respecting...
THE SLIDE INTO FASCISM: It's an awful thing to watch this country slide into facism, but it's not too hard to identify, up close, in people who surround me. Even relatives who once passed as Liberals, turn into pod-people and drink the Kool-Aid, eagerly taking advantage of the misfortunes of the people they loved, to prop up their self-importance, to pass judgments as, suddenly now, they are magically: Expert psychiatrists, expert doctors, expert real estate ajents, expert land surveyors, expert investors, expert comedians, expert Christians, expert body-snatchers - when in fact they are being complete idiots. But they do know what's best for other people - and they do know they have some god-given mission to destroy those people, for some reason. It's insane.
I'm sorry of the spirituo-ethical corruption around me - I would rather it not be. But I have an obligation to the truth, to victims, to reason, and to my sanity, to post about it. I want others to recognise similar things that are going on around them - and to help stop it, everywhere, if only by voting. This whole throng of Baby Boomers who never grew up, they see death approaching, they are becoming senile, and they are still approaching life as if it were a child's game - justifying their taking away the dignity, the houses, the independence, the rights, the social securities, the very lives, of the poor, the gay, the alien, the Moslem, and so on. Motivated by fear and greed, with no truly real tools of coping - nary the tools they might have learnt had they lived in Australia, methinks. They use game tactics to capture souls in traps like insects to be tortured.
They will not stop this until they are, en masse, headed for the very gas chambers they helped to forge. Or, maybe something more than gas chambers - maybe something that might be cooked up by the likes of global warming, galactic chaos, or the poetic justice of outrageous misfortune. Hair-triggered, as the wheat drought in Australia soon cascaded into a full mortgage and economic collapse, worldwide - and who would have thought - that Satan would rise from such discrete obscurity? (A note la: 'tis the GOP who switched the stars on its Elephant symbol UPSIDE DOWN, denoting Devil-Worship!). Nature has it's justice, just like the Quant programs on Wall Street.
So, I'm sorry my brothers, but I walked as you would have, alone and full of life. One day, you will know me as your own again.
THE AMERICAN EMPIRE: It is the humble who ultimately rule. It is the weak who are attacked - for they are the most feared - the most powerful because of the truth they signify. It is the little-guy radical that the spy networks seek to quash. It is the little guy who pays the taxes for other people's mistakes. And it is the politically powerless whom the limbic, cowardly bullies prey upon. There is no King in this present-day Empire to throw into shackles a poor thief-of-bread and send him off to the prison plantations in Botany Bay. But... There have been 352 people serving LIFE-sentences for petty theft, because of the unconstitutional, "Three-Strikes" rule...
(There have always been large discrepancies between the suburbs and the inner cities - better access to fresh produce, better schools, etc. Justice has always generally been skewed against the little guy: bails; putting petty thieves in jail, letting white collar criminals go; higher penalties for crack crimes as opposed to coccaine crimes, etc. Insurance companies methodically educate it's workers the philosophy that the little guy - the guys who are hit by fires, floods, accidents, etc. - this guy is a lazy bum trying to game the insurance industry, so do whatever you can NOT to deliver on his claim. Witness BP. And so on. Look at the poor elderly and handicapped people who were abandoned in Katrina, or the trooops on the ground to quash hungry looters. Bush - the avoidance... It's not too far a leap from this to the NAZI philosophy of prison camps, experimentation, executions, pink triangles and yellow stars of David, invasions... It's not too far at all) ...
... and so - the American Empire preserves and perpetuates itself even more perniciously - investing in a bubbling economy which thrives upon manufacturing scarcity, and so poverty - and outsourcing jobs - or purging the tiny shadow enemies of its state at every little turn - turning out civilian and covert scavengers to do it's dirty work in the neighbourhood trenches - let family members destroy other family members, let bullies goad and frighten and rally the morally absurd into attacking the creative amongst us, let legion upon legion of computer and intelligence ajents go out and surveille the phones, the internet, the street intersections - and let them take their tolls there. Let the think-tanks and PACS go forth and muster up witches and homophobes and hicks, and let them all go into Congress, by the good funding of Communist China.
What? Yes, the American Empire is a whore. It is run by corrupt "free market" elites and intelligence gangs from here to the UK to Israel to China, to your alcohol-splattered kitchen table, wherein a family squabble is soon igniting into a Feadral Issue. Let the corporate trial lawyers go out and stall true justice, en perpetuity. Let the profiteers pass monies beneath the table, and go about abusing and crippling children. Let the toxins go unlisted. Let the banksters go unfettered. Let endless WAR freeze us all into 1984. Let us all end up in rags and pot-bellies, stunned and drunk, left for dead, imprisoned in this fetid fortress, America - children, still-born. (Let Standard Oil and Ford make a profit off of Mr. Hitler's little war, and genocide).
This is how it's done. This is how the great, modern versions of King George's East India Company rise and conspire together, and lock their links - genetic and imperial - in the one selfish interest of preserving American "Empire" - empire for the few, the proud...
And the rest of us? Sardines...
Let language devolve, and logic with it, and leave the shell of a child's brain, malleable and mean.
It's all about staying on the INSIDE, and keeping the outsider OUTSIDE. "Oh, look - he's getting mad at us! We like it when he gets mad. It's funny. Ha, ha, ha! Look at him out there, looking through the window. Ha, ha! Let's invade his privacy! Serves him right!"
Meanwhile, the Republicans are shouting, "The POOR caused the economy to crash! They were the ones who took out the bad mortages! THEY MUST BE INVESTIGATED !" - (Not true - bad "Ninja" loans only comprised 5% of all failed mortgages).
(insert): MORON GOSSIP: And, you can always rely on mere gossip to do the rest of the dirty work. We all know how crap TV can bring the populism down to the same lowest common denominator. Almost nothing but shows with guns shooting and fear and cheating and cheap thrills - interrupted by intelligence-insulting commercials, and political ads all about lying and cheating and fighting each other and not trusting... "Alexi's 'trust' is not good for YOUR WALLET!" Suspicion everywhere, and other people doing your imagining for you. This also brings us down to the lowest common denominator. Investors deliberately drive up the price of wheat, then of oil, then of housing, and now of corn, turn it into a "SCARCITY", then sell their holdings to make a killling, and PEOPLE LITERALLY DIE OF STARVATION or of FIGHTING AMONGST THEMSELVES. The damage of back-sttabbing gossip works in similar ways - it bores, it compels, it threatens, it drives fighting, it fuels insult, it sets demands. Most of all, GOSSIP STIMATISES.
Frightened old TeaBaggers and kids who's minds are warped from TV, texting and consuming instead of progressive conversation - always scrambling for the latest limited offer, the latest dwindling resource. I don't know if you've noticed, but everyone’s attention-span is so low that people just don't seem to know what they're doing anymore. They don't have a feeling for a bigger picture. They mainly remember images of what they're supposed to dislike. They recall innuendos. They make loose comparisons to ridiculous caricatures. They place blame based on incompletely evidence. They make false judgments. They react to their own irritability.
Gossip is like this too - it keeps you on edge, self-conscious, ready to accuse - seeking, manufacturing, examples to take back to the gossipers of what such and such foolish person did or said, how you were offended, how you were right, and he was mentally ill - almost as if pleading in a court of superstitious prejudice. Negative gossip drives a race to the bottom - it is mob psychology in the shadows, where each person attacks so as to save his/her own skin - just as investment bubbles, slash-and-burn exploitation, and the seeking of the lowest profits and workers overseas, all drive people racing to the bottom to save their own skin, and run off with whatever they can loot. People run off in every direction, trying not to get plastered like Nascar racers, covered with every manner of derogatory label.
Similarly, the failure of people in a society to participate in helping behaviour - as when a wife refuses to allow her husband to help a buddy for a while - this drives the most misfortunate to the bottom first, but soon drags down everyone else with them. This is all due to some degree of stigmatising the opposed person - the "change ajent" - seeing them as imposing upon one's own needs, which are usually, in fact, conveniences. The atomisation of society, serving self-interest, as through gossip eating away at cooperation, is almost enough in itself to do the bidding of an Empire wishing to purge itself of independent, and so "radical" (meaning "roots"), elements. Through gossip, children can be taught to be spies and trespassers and saboteurs, privacy can be invaded, and "subverrsives" can be neutralized. Through gossip, no good deed goes unpunished. No good stiff goes unburied.
Gossip is like Farmville. It is a virtual game, spreading and creating rumours and prejudice, fantasizing, en masse, about doing physical harm in the real world. It can be like voodoo religion, with a hidden, vicarious, superstitious hope - and expectation - that some misfortune will somehow befall the envied, or hated, or "immoral" person/target. And, lo and behold, something bad manages to happen to that person. Well, how do you like that. Someone happened to pop out of nowhere and bully them off a bridge - in "self-defense", of course. The invasion of privacy which began by dishonoring the targetted person's self-respect or reputation, using stolen information; and wheedles about in passive mob-behaviour whispering campaigns fantasizing about invading the targetted person's sanctity and sanctuary, ends in an invasion of privacy which violates social mores, AND YET IS SOMEHOW OK NOW, in the form of bullying. Gossip is the bastard mother of bullying. (end of insert)
A ONE-WORLD CURRENCY: So now - hear this one... Right-wing libertarian Allex Joans has long ranted and railed about something no one thinks is even worth taking seriously: One day soon, we will lose the dollar bill, and the world will be ruled by a single new currency - based upon IMF Special Drawing Rights, (SDRs). But Allex Joans eventually is proven right about a lot more things than you might think.
You know that Soviiet Russia sought to control it's single, independent currency amongst several countries, meaning to thereby secure the system. You know that Commmunist China, otherwise widely capitalistic, does not allow the market to naturally flux its Yuan - instead, it controls it's hard currency - currently 30% lower that it should otherwise be - to guarantee it's production economy, and so it's State. You know that the fiat US dollar has been the primary instrument of global exchange for many decades now - we prop it up in every manner of control - if a country like Iraq flouts it, for the Euro, we invade the country - all to preserve the Empire. Did you know that Nazi Germany, as well, sought to mark out it's own hard currency of new empire, all the way down to and including Brazil?
A single currency, making things easier for the largest global economic institutions, represents A SINGLE FIAT GOVERNMENT - and I say "fiat" government with double entendre, meaning also a virtual government of economies, superseding the civil governments of peoples. As Jefferson warned, if the Banks were ever allowed to take control, they would take from us all our properties, and our children would one day wake up hungry and in rags.
FLOUTING THE CONSTITUTION: We are already watching, as before our very eyes the corrupt "U.S. Chamber of Commerce" is using money from China to now-"legally" buy away elections and destroy our representative self-government. And this is now-"legal" due to an Unkonsteetutional move by 5 ACTIVIST members of the Supreme Court, ("Citizens United" case), to essentially dismiss the case's central issue and instead UNKONSTEETUTIONALLY consider a hypothetical, or self-created issue: The wider question of the corporate personhood "free speach" funding of all political campaigns. On this illegal question, and it's recent clarification, their decision became, predictably, that corporations have the "free speech" to fund political campaigns - and, as urged by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce in a friend-of-the-court advisory, corporations may do so without divulging where their money is coming from, may take money from overseas (as LIED by Alito would not be so), may hide behind shell non-profits, and so may CIRCUITOUSLY support particular candidates.
In addition, this is all rendered, even further, Unkonsteetutional, if you take the ORIGINALIST point that the 14th Amendment made no provisions that corporations had any rights even resembling personhood, ergo free speach - because that "provision" was in fact merely tacked on as a mere written OPINION a decade or two AFTER the 14th Amendment was finalised as law. But, recall, today's illegal Supreme Court - right-wing politicians in robes - would never have existed were it not for GWB, who was put into office illegally by the Supreme court in 2000, and then again by election fraud in 2004. Mais quis - we have fascism here, kids, let me assure you. And you may ask yourself WHY? or HOW? And the answer is simple: It is by a mass Konspeerasy of personality disorders that the rules of declining empire are wrought, and are so the rules of fascism. It is easy for the courts to make idiot decisions because they are, like so many others, simply fucked up in the head.
CONSEQUENCES OF THE ONE-WORLD CURRENCY: Well, the game is on - because, apparently, this movement for a single SDR currency has already been recommended by the (manipulated) United Nations, and it has been urged by 40 of the world's largest banks, and meetings are on - in progress - while President Obama has already put in something between $150-$250 billion to the World Bank to help set up the main bank for the transition. Of course, this is occurring quietly, so as not to upset the pedestrian economy - but the big players - you, know, the Goldman-Sachs of the world - they're all actively in the know. What does this mean? It means both an attempt to rescue the empire of the past, with all it's vested interests, and with all their needs to further expand beyond this country into China, etc., AND it means solidifying those elites in power, who have so far mainly GAINED through the general slide towards fascism. SO. You figure out what this means.
I can't tell you now, with as much certainty, that gold may go up to $5000 in 5 years - it prolly will. But they are interested in tamping down any extended rise into hyperspace - (see recent post w/ info on gold/inflation) - seeing as there are 45 times more options on gold than there is real gold, not counting the overstatements of gold possessed by banks, Fort Knox, etc. (Bank certificates to hold gold or silver are overextended, and overextended gold and silver futures contracts state in the fine print that they CAN be redeemed for cash only). So, yeah, they have a huge interest in TRYING to recalibrate gold whilst establishing this new fiat currency. The only problem is that such things as fascism and climate-change tend to very quickly get out of control, and so to lead to the same chaos bringing down the SDR currency, as would do to plummet the dollar. And whether they can safely move to a new currency in enough time BEFORE the dollar plummets precipitiously, with corresponding hyperinflation, is questionable - time will tell. One thing I do know is that if we end up with a Congress full of TeaBaggers, Katie Bar the Door.
So, now we get to the final topic of this post. First, I must take another long rest...
(Oct 12 - 10:pm): I just received my first "Text-to-Landline" call - a message on my machine, "DO YOU STILL HAVE THE DOOR?" I'm selling a door. But I can't call back to long distance numbers.
BANKING BY PHONE: As you have inferred from my subliminally insinuated implications - really? - I have been in absolute hell for three days straight. "Wait a minute, I astutely read that he was RECOVERING from a WEEK or TWO of hell, some days ago." You are correct. While almost pulling out of that, I received a surprise call from a relative. Although she saved me a lot of leg-work, the interruption, the pizza, and the exasperating conversation, conspired to throw me back into 3 more days of relapse. During these three days, my main accomplishment was to call my banks' automatic phone systems a few times. Actually MANY times - cuz I kept punching incorrect numbers. I was awaiting confirmation of an automatic "bill pay" from one bank to another. OK - got that? OK. Cuz once the money enters bank #2, then I know I can proceed with plans, once out of relapse.
So, I'm on the phone to auto-banking with bank #1. Finished, so I hang up. As sometimes happens, the service oddly calls me back, immediately. This time, I hang on the line - hear some Chopin - and then some guy says, "Bank #1 - Can I help you?"
"Um, no. I was using your automatic phone service, and hung up. Then you called me back, for some reason..."
"Hmmmm.... Must be something wrong with our system.... Hmmmm...." Well, I'd say. Since this happens a lot, wouldn't they have cleared this up by now?
OK - So, I eventually manage to think to myself, "They must have some logging system which identifies your phone number so that they can better verify your identity - for security purposes." (This is not actually how I think, esp. during relapses. I actually think in a series of logically-connected grunts).
Later that day, I'm thinking, "But what if that's not actually my BANK. Maybe it's someone monitoring calls into the bank, then capturing the phone number, "calling me back" because they're keyed into my line, and then stealing information by remaining "as me" logged into my account - or replaying dial tones so they can steal my pin number. I felt that it was just a quirky phone problem. But I have to deliberately think up these scenarios, in all areas of life, and then try hard to remember them, because during and following relapses, most thinking is not automatic for me, as it once was, like riding a bike. When up to it, I am constantly exercising my morsels of conscious thinking, while at the same time my brain desperately needs to rest. AND, you all boringly remember all of the computer hakking I have experienced in the past - associated with The Ferret - so I must always try to be on my guard.
The next day - today - I get a call from Bank #2. That is the bank where Bank #1 normally bill-pays (deposits) my $450 - every month. It's on my answering machine. I become very concerned. I am worried. I'm calling back. The guy is busy. I finally reach him. He asks me security questions. Then he explains, "We received a check from Bank #1 - does that sound familiar to you?"
"Yes..."
"Well, it's not made out to your checking account number here. It's made out to a different number."
That is, it was headed for deposit in someone else's account. It was an account number that had nothing to do with any account I maintain at any bank - nor any routing number or card number. It's someone else's account number.
I called bank #1 and asked for an explanation and/or heads-up, knowing they couldn't go into my online bill-pay account. We discussed it. No revellations, other than it was very wrong. The whole disruptive matter had already served to cement closed any tiny possibility that I MIGHT be able to do anything productive that day.
So, here we are. Did someone in fact hakk into my #1 checking account via my call to bank #1's automatic phone service? That's yet one more problem I have to work through. I can't get online here. I may need to switch around accounts, a direct-deposit, etc. Great. I'll want to investigate the suspicious account number. But, I began to think some more about this whole weird thing where the "automatic phone banking service" weirdly calls me back...
Why do these things keep happening to me? (more later)
CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME: (Oct 13 - 10:am): Still in recovery - not quite there. The big central brain problem, which has been around for about 3 weeks, is finally diminishing - so long as it was there, it always meant that my threshold for relapses was very low. And now my screwed up back probs are improving. So - I have the taste of oysters! - and this is a good sign. However, improvements on really deeper problems is not good. The lurking, long-term life-threatening symptoms are stronger, from all the intense stress, even while more superficial symptoms improve. That's like a giant analogy of the nature of CFS - you can be able to breath, talk, walk - while deeper symptoms are severe, and you're pushing past your energy-envelope, rapidly inviting future relapse - and people assume you are just fine - so when you speak of your illness to them, you are a whiner or a liar. And they have no idea of the depth and severity of the pain or the disability. I have come up with a new word for the state where people w/ cfs look well, but are more deeply on the precipice of a relapse - "debility" - it is a requirement that you limit activity even when you appear unaffected by the activity. Anyway, I may write more of the prejudice towards people w/ CFS.
Finally - had serious heart pain tonight, and some this morning. This often accompanies attempts at recovery - cuz the external cycles of health say, "Hey! Looks good! Feels better! Let's get up and run around and pump blood now!" Meanwhile, the deeper cycles and symptoms are not improved, and are even the worse for wear - so they oppose the external kickstart. And the basic CFS pathology is still in play, wanting to halt metabolic, energy, neuronal, and ETC., processes, thus increasing autonomic and adrenal emergency activities. This means a lot of conflict in core areas of the body, like artery constrictions in the heart or brain, while the external illusion of health is demanding increased blood-pumping. The deeper cycles also have to deal with all this scarring and deposits of pathogens, calcium, platelets, cholesterol, triglicerides, plaque, intestinal waste, or blood and liver toxins, persisting consequentially from all the stress of the relapse and the arduous coping - meaning, most of all, a persisting failure of oxygenation.
There can be a similar example of this dangerous hidden conflict amongst non-CFS people, especially people with (hidden) heart, circulation, aneurism, etc., problems. Waking in the morning, the more subtle external life cycles are all accelerating excitedly, while the deeper cycles are still too slow and in opposition. What can be the result? Heart attack. Most heart attacks occur in the morning. SO, a word of advice, be very careful with how fast you wake up and start the day; be sure you have had enough sleep, and be careful with how fast you drink that caffeine.
WHO IS GOING CRAZY?: Continuing with the banking story... Is there anything written above that says, "Paranoid schizophrenic?" or "Konspeerasy theorist?" All the things I've been describing have been REAL things happening in reality, often affecting my life - like the wrong checking account number, the weird automatic call-back, the Supreme Court decisions, the USCOC poisoning of elections with FOREIGN MONEY, even the move towards a one-world currency. It is a fact that there are many renegade covert US intelligence goups which are independent and secretly funded. These are things happening in reality.
But people who DON'T THINK, and people who ALWAYS THINK THE'YRE RIGHT; and people who LIKE TO DRIFT ALONG IN COMFORT; and who find it convenient to their self-importance or their need to gossip TO JUDGE AND STIGMATISE others as crazy - these people enjoy, or nervously resort to, dismissing information with which they are unfamiliar, and instead immediately paint the messenger as mentally ill and threatening. Real problems that happen to real people become examples of how these people are consuming themselves with paranoid delusions.
ABUSE OF THE ILL: So, something like CFS not only becomes largely delusional, it inspires conclusions about OTHER aspects of that person's life. If that person drinks once a week, not even much, that person is "alcoholic". If that person is having a crisis caused by bank manipulations of his/her account status - which is acknowledged as happening all the time - causing a destructive spiral of overdraft charges, then that POOR person is considered irresponsible with his or her money. Normal mistake, mistakes caused by CFS, mistakes caused by other people's greed, ignorance, benign neglect, abuse - these all become examples of how the person is just one big mistake.
Some of you have been through this, and know exactly what I am talking about: Due a defect in empathy or intimacy, due to greed, due to vanity, due to idiocy, due to selfish agendae: some people are absolute craps. And they circulate their prejudice in gossip, which motivates society to further handicap their victims. And the traps they set are so inane, so oblique yet obvious, so retarded, and so SELF-SERVING - so superfluous but for the thrill of the spite - it's a mental illness. It IS THE mental illness - and it is the blood and sinews of future fascism. It's no different than the SUPERSTITION which drove the Salem Witch Trials. And yet, it hides behind an aping of "expertise". In observations similar to these, Allex Joans, and now Norman Goldman (more and more), are quite on the money.
THE INSECURITIES OF JERKS: (insert): But you tell them they should really consider buying gold, and they think to themselves, "Why should I listen to that, when he's been crazy about every other thing in his life? It would be crazy for me to think about gold." (And so they miss out on real profit. Because they CHOOSE to be pawns of the dysfunctionalising economy - that's how you GET TO BE an elite - so the theory goes). "He' s just TRYING TO CONTROL ME AGAIN!" - Hmmmm... Why would they think the latter?? Why would they project that? You sit there, defending against their denial that you could POSSIBLY be virtually 100% disabled for days - and you try to clarify your NEEDS, not your whims or wants. It's as if they are surrounded by these gaseous, prejudicial bubbles filled with self-referential, backwards logic, preventing anything REAL from making a connection.
They will sit there, after all their judgment, and say to you, "Your problem is that you won't accept that we CARE about you!" What do they base this on? On walking away every time you start talking, expecting you to eat their damn farts? On throwing you a few bones, a few dollars, expecting to keep you supportive of all the thousands of dollars they have spent on irresponsible and unethical decisions, while they tell you not to buy beer, or a dog, or or a dress, or hair colouring, or makeup, or a car, or whatever they deem irresponsible? They feed off of the need of poor people for a few dollars - it builds up their narcissism - their conviction that they are the holiest people on Earth - and so can run off and commit more sins.
It isn't much different to the top 2% corporate elite, throwing campaign-finance bones at Left and Right political candidates, and saying, "OK, you kids go off now and fight each other to stay in office. You waste away your life in pathetic pursuits. But just remember, we are always the ones in Control!" Any slight hint to the contrary, any imagined threat to their CONTROL, and the elites simply call out the ass-ass-eens. Because, they can DO no wrong. E.g., THE KOCH FAMILY.
"Why should I listen to that?" Avoidance theory. Why be accountable? Why be exposed to your ignorance? Why show up at debates or TV interviews? Why acknowledge the needs of the poor? The way to win is to EXPAND UNDERGROUND... whilst hearing the voices of recent gossip and paranoia on your own lips...
THE BASIC PSYCHO-CRAP: Likewise, any mention of hakkers, of Konspeerasies (unless you substitute that word with the word "Unions"), of the destructiveness of the BP oil disaster, of Global Warming, and you are deemed as drifting back into the craziness of denial, which reminds them of uncontrollable chaos, a deliberate challenge to THEIR control, and they simply call out their ASSES, and turn them in your direction. Whereas, if you gracefully take into consideration the possibility or relevance of some of their points - for discussion - they immediately think to themselves, "See! I win! I forced him out of denial! I am always right!" Talk about schizophrenic - they basically only hear what they want to hear STRANGELY MUTTERING FROM THEIR OWN LIPS.
This is how the Empire preserves itself. It eats through it's ass and shits out it's mouth. It uses those calling themselves libertarians, and those calling themselves communists - it doesn't matter - it is true wrong-headed Konspeerasy. It is a MENTAL DISORDER. More and more, those with the money hold their money via corruption, not through smart decisions - and those with the smarts and the ethics - LIKE THE AUSSIES, YO - are deprived of the access and the means needed to invest in gold, in technology, in work, in creativity, in solar, in electric, in nature, in politics, etc. The closer they get to their goals, the more their costs are INCREASED. The more disabled they are, the more they are expected to jump through hoops. Because they are deemed crazy. (end of insert)
SO - once I cross the line into hypothesizing about hakkers, The Ferret, etc., these types of people eagerly rush in to judge, hemming and hawing. Because that is the POPULAR thing to do. The SAFE thing. Yet it is precisely this taboo against allowing to be uttered the word, "KONSPEERASY", which facilitates the very spread of actual Konspeerasies, (and keeps liberals constantly crippled). The vice is hidden in plain daylight. Wouldn't that precisely be the way that it would work, in some work of fiction, or in some example of society in Germany prior to the rise of Nazism, (which I studied in college), or in some backwards kingdom wherein mob bosses, Mafioso or Magistrates rise together and coopt political power? "It Can't Happen Here!"
Why do these things keep happening to me? ("Because you are crazy!!!") .....
CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME: (Oct 13 - 1:pm): I've been hit by some serious "brain-burn", which is like a mini-relapse - time-wise, not intensity-wise. This is immunological activity throughout the brain, which blocks out thinking and also involves some brain-flash and brain-fog. This makes today day 4 of the relapse. It means it is unrealistic of me to have much hope of going downtown, etc. I am finally starting to be able to putter about a bit, rest, write a little, then putter about some more. This is exactly the type of day where I can get myself ready to go somewhere THE NEXT day. Hopefully, I can also get garbage/recyclables ready to go out tomorrow - although I'm not completely sure what day it is today. I strive to begin the recyclables/sorting started AT LEAST 3 days before they are taken away. Must rest again....
(Oct 13 - 3:pm): Heart pain, fatigue relapse increasing. Underlying long-term severe symptoms now seeking to overtake again. (One shock of a loss, a few hours of cold, any big strain, and the deep life-threatening spiral could begin again!). Can walk around, feeling very ill, and no one would guess. Debility. Need much more rest. Found out it's WEDNESDAY. Garbage-men came and went 1-2 days ago. See how it goes. Meanwhile, the imperial Konspeerasies grow. I'm only trying to hold my own.
FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THE HELL: (Weds Oct 13 - 9:30pm): Well, I rested and MANAGED to sleep a bit. I am now feeling almost well. The center-brain problem and severe LT symptoms are almost imperceptible. It is amazing how easy life is for people who do not have this illness - and it amazes me, when I feel well, to think that people feel this way ALL THE TIME and yet they flout their irresponsibility and expect the disabled to reach completely impossible goals. As "youth is wasted on the young," REALITY - or responsibility - IS WASTED ON THE WELL. Most of them are completely blind to their own arrogance.
Imagine being as disabled as I have been for the last 3 days, and then one or two weeks before then - it is only NOW, at 9:30pm, that I feel at all up to accomplishing anything. Do you really think anyone can accomplish much in such a life? Much of the time, all I can do is write. But the Blue Meanies find out that you can write several pages a day, (even though sporadically and in pain), and they assume you are some BUM who COULD - should - be working at a normal job, 8 hours a day. It's criminal - it really is. And it only stands to get worse. And even though I feel well now, I am likely to crash again soon.
It just amazes me, that people who talk about "caring" will sit and look straight at you, and say such things as:
"Is your doctor just some guy helping you keep your dog? Are you sure you've been diagnosed correctly? Have you considered that it may be a mental illness? Everybody gets tired. You make it sound so impossible, moving out. So we should make it even more impossible for you. Because you don't see that we care. Don't be unreasonable."
And they say this after you've clarified the NEEDS of your illness, basically BEGGING them to pay them for their own bad mistakes which are disrupting your life, just to save them a little expense. And the worst part of all this is the utter BLINDNESS.
PERSECUTION = PRESERVATION: (Thurs Oct 14 - 11:am): A rough night. Tired. Just want to sleep. Pain. The question in this post was, "Why do these things keep happening to me?" One reason is because I am ill. I can't function much of the time. I make mistakes and forget things. People take advantage - denying the illness, and attributing things to some CHARACTER PROBLEM. Thus, if I'm morally incorrect, that gives them permission to disrespect me. Monkey people see pain or something alien, and their response is to physically abuse the victim. That's one reason. People project their own faults onto people like me. Gossip further stigmatises. Lost economic opportunity further debilitates. In my case, it is no longer, "WHO you know" - its how many people's fingers you can get OUT of your life, which improves life.
Why am I ill? Because some company polluted a creek, which I walked through, on my way to apply for a job. Why did THAT happen? Because companies, i.e., people, in this country, are bastards. Not too much dif elsewhere in the world. Although, compare BP oil disaster and Katrina to Chile's Camp Hope mining rescue, and maybe not so much. Remember that mine collapse in WV? That mine was not Unionised. And when Unionised Miners frm elsewhere showed up with all their machinery, and offered to help save the trapped miners below, what did management do? Masey turned them away - because they were Union miners. And so the miners below DIED. Makes ya really proud of America, yes? So ingenious. So gung-ho and "in-this-together". So compassionate. This is how the misfortunate are treated by those in control - left to die - painted over with morally-correct, self-promoting red-white-and-blue TV commercials.
When push comes to shove, the argument always turns to, somehow, "It was the victim's own damn fault". Because of the thousands of health and structural violations at that mine...
See "Dodge vs Ford" decision (1920's). Ford won. Although Ford's heart was in the right place, this decision REQUIRED that corporations do as much as they can to make money for themselves - that now includes OUTSOURCING JOBS TO CHINA.
THE PRESERVATION OF EMPIRE: The power of Empire rises by falling on the backs of the poor. Declining Empire will go so far as to cannibalize itself, from its poor on upwards, merely to justify this ethic. And, as I have said before: Want-as-need is the codex of Empire. We (Empire) deserve to HAVE, because WE ARE BEST! Our wants are more important - they are NEEDS! Our GREED is the rule of nature which BENEFITS everyone else. The world NEEDS us to take from it! If you complain, then you are a terrible-ist!
That's why, while they redefine THEIR wants into "needs", they automatically interpret the NEEDS of my disability - of my very SURVIVAL - along with the NEEDS of people across the globe - as mere whims, personal problems, irresponsibility, devious schemes, threats, and so forth - projecting on us their very dishonesty, shallowness, corruption, greed, irresponsibility, abuse... They are consumed by games, and will kill to win. Just look at how the Republicans play politics and legislation. They are literally killing people. Meanwhile, most idiot Dems simply try harder to play by the rules of the game, even while they watch each other get slaughtered. Politics is as good as gossip - it does the rest of us little good. And if the Dems lose this time around, it will harm us big time.
WHY ARE THESE THINGS HAPPENING TO ME?: CFS, pollution, other people's bad decisions, paying the sins and taxes of the zombified elite - why is this happening? You know that banks regularly have played with the status of your accounts to make it more likely that you will overdraft - just as they manipulate service fees on loans, sell loans even while you're keeping up on payments, and so on and so forth. Well, I got caught in an overdraft spiral due to such shenanigans, and then was prohibitted from correcting it. PayPal kept trying to charge my account over and over - and I was soon $1000 in debt to the bank. By the time I obtained help from someone to cover this, waiting a month for the check, I was another $500 in debt. It took forever to climb out of that. Then you end up trying to defend your reputation because of all the crap that follows. Why did that happen to me? Because my poverty was exploited, that's why. Because my CFS left me mathematically incompetant.
That was BEFORE 2008, when it was easy for a lot of people to simply regard me as irresponsible. Now they're feeling the pinch. And who do they try to pass along their new bill to? That's right.
And many of you know of the highly rad MySpace I created - it wasn't porn or pedophilia or anything terrible - it was all fun. This was before Lady GaGa, but very popular. It was also shocking to certain people. Plus, you have this here LJ - madman101 - which is rad but not revolutionary - it's main "threat" to certain groups might be that it is honest and thought-out. It tends to talk about the truth, with a flourish of humour and hyperbole. I'm NOT out of control or advocating violence or anything like that.
I have also written countless Letters-to-the-Editor in this town, Madison, Chicago, and to papers across the country - and had a weekly newspaper column, a bit like my LJ, which was anonymous until near the end. These were highly anti-Bush, etc. Everything I said in those columns have been born out as being TRUE. I have participated in Lefty marches and gatherings. Plus, I have been in significant trouble with the law twice in my life, and both times, the warrant for arrest was expunged - everything being due to misunderstandings. I was high in debt to Student Loans - but these have been forgiven. My illness sent me into homelessness and debt, leaving a bad credit rating - but who doesn't have a bad credit rating?
So..... SINCE it is a fact that covert intelligence groups DO surveille and hakk, even WITHOUT warrants - do you see that it is POSSIBLE that I am on a "STIFLE" list of one of those groups? You know of the many times my computer has been hakked, no matter what I did, through the same ajents in China, associated with The Ferret. These things happen to ME because... I am schitzophrenic? A Konspeerasy theorist? Mentally ill? Irresponsible? Or - maybe it's just because I'm an Aussie without an accent... Keeping my mind free...
KONSPEERACY THEEERY: So, I was thinking more about this automatic phone banking service. Could it be that something like The Ferret is monitoring phone-calls to banks, more specifically, MY calls, and is dipping into my checking account as another way of undermining me? For the sheer pleasure of their spite and their moral correctness - their "need" to quash and control? I'd say this is VERY possible. It's not like I don't have enough to deal with - my CFS, my finances, my relatives, gossip, jackasses... I ALSO have to deal with being on The Ferret's self-serving Hit List? It's very possible. Because when you lose your umbrella, when it rains, it pours.
Facts: China was given special permission to see secret, invisible Microsoft programme codes, giving them, and any associates, the ability to write worms that allow them into any Windows computer. The Ferret, and others, are involved with ajents in Chinese intelligence and businesses. It is not simply an outsourcing of our jobs, it is an undermining of our security. How many times have I been critical of China in this LJ? My hakked computer always begins in China and ends traceable to IPs on record as belonging to The Ferret. Internet servers also allow some agencies like The Ferret to monitor people on the web - apparently using one or two of their own IPs. Google and Yahoo are not trustworthy. I have had highly suspicious phone calls and messages and hang-ups from dubious origins. AND, it's a fact that AT&T and most, if not all other telecom companies, allow continuous phone tapping, even from within their buildings. That's simply something I have come to trust is true. There are agencies and programmes tapping into your calls and posts and emails based on hundreds of tag-words or links or calls or IPs or search keywords or vissitted web sites - or even mere innuendo. This is all true.
It's as if an Aussie is walking along, he sees a sparkley red stone, and says, "This is a sparkley red stone, " because he is saying what is true. I am saying what is true. But many people who have personal agendas, actually dependencies, bought into the same gossipy, control-fixated mental illness GAME as the elites and agencies which would make mincemeat of the poor, if it came to that - they see this talk about a sparkley red stone, and they feel they are obligated to call it crazy Konspeerasy theory - lies - paranoid schizophrenia? AND, when you write about THIS truth, this knee-jerk, morally-correct judgmentalism in society, then the covert agencies and law enforcement have you under observation. Catch-22: THE VICE ON THE POOR - (see previous posts). Nobody says, "Hey, let's look at the stone... Maybe it's quartz, maybe it's iron - a meteorite?! Maybe it even CONTAINS GOLD!"
WE KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU: Instead, the game is to think, "Ha! Here's another way to convince myself that my WANTS are actually NEEDS! Here is a way to GAIN special PRIVILEDGE! By knocking down another idiot in the name of state morality! Because gossip is so enriching! It brings such great sex! I am SO IN! I can use this to BUY FAVORS!"
"SINCE he is 'a crazy Konspeerasy theorist', we now know better than him - we know better how he should live. We can now - FINALLY (freedom!) - pass moral judgment on him, which isn't really moral judgment, because it's sanctioned by the State! Therefore, it is SCIENTIFIC!" And the State is telling itself, "Great - we get to string this bastard up, because this is POPULARLY sanctioned! Or at least, our science tells us IT IS WHAT IS BEST FOR THE PEOPLE-SHEEP." All from the same personal disorder of Imperial Arrogance.
When a person feels he or she must manipulate someone else, to their detriment, in order to fulfill any wants, then that person has elevated those wants into false, assumed "needs." And this - losing the independence of Zennish detachment - this is the major step into soul-destroying, dysfunction Imperialism. For, it is fine to either a borrower or lender be, unless there is this loss into perversity. Then all bets are off. It becomes a game of dependency, enabling, artifice and elimination. It's like becoming a zombie.
And, the easy way of denying that one is not contradicting the best interests of the exploited person is by convincing that person that he/she will be better of, because of YOU. YOU know best! YOU are NOT A WITCH! You have wormed yourself into their programme - got your fingers into their business.
And if THAT doesn't work, if your GENEROSITY is spurned - well then you have the moral right to blithely shove them off into deprivation, perhaps even into stoning, whatever. OR - you ask for someone's help, they help you, you can pass moral judgment against them, and somehow get to walk off with their possessions. Same dynamic, basically. False needs. Usury. Check out http://www.normangoldman.com for his Thursday Oct. 14 bit about Wall Street finding it morally OK to walk off with people's homes, which Wall Street has no right to, simply by calling them "bums" for not making their mortgage payments. So very relevant to the theme of this post.
EXPANDING INWARDS: You see, when a society and economy becomes counterproductive, when Empire becomes dysfunctional, what once was a public philosophy of progress, growth and expansion ONWARDS AND UPWARDS, now is a private Konspeerasy to get your fingers into every possible private crevice and activity and thought of whomever you can, WITHOUT getting your hand bitten off. It is an expansion into personal privacy, into secrets, into bedroom sex, into moral choices, into personal inspiration, into self-determination and will, into creativity and imagination, into health, into privatising government, and ultimately INTO LIFE ITSELF.
See how the Republicans try to expand (and privatise) the government (and its debt) by CONTROLLING what others do in their bedrooms, by controlling the right to marry, by controlling social security, by controlling education and textbooks, by controlling the picture of whom "are", destroying their very own, private INTEGRITY. Calling into question every choice they make. Stopping social progress towards freedom and wealth - and health - looting the COMMONS. Rendering helpless as many as they can, so they can co-opt these victims, play them agaisnt each other, and PROFIT. By falling on the poor, Empire rises - in a funeral pyre. And watch the Dems be mesmerized and defeated by this perverse display of baboon "authority". It's a rigged game. It is a Konspeerasy of dunces.
That's why these things happen to me. That's why I write about them. They are happening to the greater part of our society. And they are being promulgated by the whole of our society.
INSERT, WRITTEN 3 DAYS AGO: Well, I spent Sat. Aft/eve w/ a certain relative. I'll write more later. We went to Old Chicago's, etc. I am in day number 2 of relapse from it. I am stunned by the degree to which all of them are messed up in the head as far as judgment goes. What a bunch of unnecessary dysfunction. Selfishness, spite, denial - they continue being blind to their bad decisions. I'm the scapegoat that makes it all happen.
"Omg! The poor are trying to CONTROL us! The illegal immigrants are taking our jobs! The minorities want to live off our taxes! Let's arrange it so we PROVE this is so! Let's string them out even further - dismiss, obfuscate, deny, ignore, undermine, insinuate, blame... Let's destroy the whole government - the commons - their lives - because of THEIR immoral CULTURE WAR against US!! We must DESTROY them in order to SAVE them! And we only charge $75! Because we love them."
"Hey, look: He's hanging by his toe, from a rope! Let's scoot him over the Grand Canyon, and discuss with him how all of his decisions are wrong. Because - (unlike us) - HE'S mentally ill. Who else would be so crazy as to hang suspended by a rope over the Grand Canyon? - Any pennies left in his pockets, btw?"
Barack Obama - "Change comes from the bottom!"
"I have no problem with gays... But gays should not be allowed to marry - or TEACH. Because we have a right to tresspass into, and control, their private lives." Paladino / Diment
Gay man sodomised by bastards... check this
btw - a note: The more you encourage moralistic bigotry against groups like gays, or alcohol or pot, etc., the more underground economies and mobs pop up to protect them at bars, etc. Anything-for-the-Money Paladino who opportunistically opposes, gays yet rented his buildings to them, is precisely the same kind of corrupt Don who steps in to assume broad political power. Go too far, and you end up like Mexico.
http://www.hearingvoices.com - lennon - recommended
(NOTE: Other links and FUN QUESTIONS have been moved to the end of this mega-post).
THE LOCO BEAT: "Why isn't he thanking us for helping him?", said the City crew who, rather than cutting the branches, as he had solicited them to do, destroyed his lilac bush and only addressed random irrelevant "code violations". This is the local mentality. I just thought this was a perfect analogy. And then, when YOU help people here appropriately, as THEY ask you to, they stab you in the back - and walk off with your possessions. This is the new "morally correct." Insane, bad decisions everywhere I look - as if everyone has been brainwashed to become a Konspeerasy of right-wing losers.
GOSSIP PERMITS INTRUSION: But gossip - assuring them all that they are in the right - gossip is a good thing. Look, you know, when your brains are congested with irrationality, and you are only capable of making BAD DECISIONS, how else are you going to make up the difference survive in reality, not fail, & prove that you are "ALWAYS RIGHT"? By thieving away the wealth and the good will of anyone and everyone. That's how. The need to exploit others is based on a ruthless inability to think straight.
Vice is versa.
Irrational language, unethical behaviour... http://www.radiolab.org And thanks to Familiar gossip, we will soon receive this drunken call:
"Hello?"
"So, I heard you got some guy from some nutrition place to pretend he was your doctor so you can keep your dog - because your CFS is really just a scheme to manipulate people. Like when you asked us to help make house repairs. That's OK, man! Whatever you want to do. But the house might be condemned - because we love you, man."
"No, *Relative*, I am ILL. I am DISABLED. And, I am not dragging my feet on finding an apartment. I am not buying time by paying the property tax bill. I am not mentally ill. I am not trying to manipulate people. I am not drunk. I am DISABLED. I can't DO things. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME OTHER THAN MY ILLNESS."
"You're lying, man. You're a liar. Come on, man! There's something wrong with ALL the males in this family. You know there's really something wrong with you, man. Why are you lying?"
If you were me, would you really choose to be around this? Would you CHOOSE to be dependent on these people? Yes, I lie - IN BED - for days on end! They creep about and wait to fall in line behind the next fascist bully. When they see me becoming independent, they increase my expenses. How can HUMANS not be aware of such MONKEY behaviour? (END OF INSERT)
WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A JOB: The lot of them are largely jealous that I don't have a job, and sanctimoniously correct because they DO. A "job", to them, is something you do, which you HATE - and so I should be doing this, as well. We HATE our jobs, but we work because we are SINNERS - we must pay our penance. And, so - how dare I think that I am NOT a sinner - that I am somehow BETTER than them?
My CFS is about 12 full-time jobs - what are they talking about?
But the point of jobs is to serve other people in society - it is a social contract - a mutual enrichment. NOT in a dysfunctional economy! So, there is no joy in them that they are working to serve or to help other people in society, by making good products and services, and by paying taxes. No. Greed has undermined all those feelings. And their greed - their wants-now-needs - must undermine the unemployed. The poor are inherently immoral. Their own fear of poverty is too great - it is a need of an order so great that it is beyond comprehension - it all comes out as denial and anger and passive-aggressive spite and crucifixion via invasion of the privacy of the poor! I would be the very type of person their work, in a functional society, would HAPPILY serve - a relative, no less.
"What do you mean you 'can't'?! How can you 'CAN'T'?! That's unAmerican! I'll CAN YOU!!!" - And that's how the word, "can", came to mean both, "To be fired", and, "The Crapper." See also, "Can doo doo."
(Oct 12? 5:pm): Well, it's day #3 of 98% disability, only beginning to clear.
The greatest walkers in the world are the Aussies. The worst walkers in the world are the American'ts, who walk half as much as the Aussies. Being an Aussie, living in America, I will tell you why this is. It's because America sucks. I LOVE walking, but I absolutely HATE walking in America. Why? Because there's too much bullshit to contend with. Rude, crazy, judgmental people, and nothing spectacular to look at - unless you pay a fee and go to a park - out of your way. Traffic is king here, and it wants to run you over. People throw things at you and yell things at you - oh, did I say "people"? I meant "cowards". If you are walking, you are immediately taken for a fool, a loser, a homeless person - and these types of people are considered to be dirt, of little soul or value, in this Calvinist system. Most everyone, therefore, are spiritually divorced from the Earth. And that partly explains why the American Empire is destroying the planet. There is no profit in walking and, when push comes to shove, because MONEY IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS HERE. All else are lies and delusions. Scams and Ponzi schemes. Only the true survivors - the sociopaths - know this: Nothing and no one is to be trusted or respected.
An Aussie LJ friend dropped me recently - a reticent, artistic person, with simple needs and pleasures, living close to the Earth. It saddens me that someone like this should drop me, for I know it is because she was simply offended by my social and political critiques, of life in America. But, they are perspectives of some real shit that is going down... man... here in this most important country in the universe. They aren't things I want to say - I am merely observing, exposing, analyzing, critiquing - out of an obligation to do so. Any imprisoned Aussie would do the same - expose hypocrisy, cruelty, injustice - with perhaps an ounce of madness. I'd much rather be a happy, contented person, living amongst the Kookaburras. Walking along, with a tucker bag, a tin cup, and a Sheila named Bruce.
THE COMING GLOBAL FAMINE: Well, it always refreshes me when I hear sensible voices coming out of Australia, land of the walkers. Just listened to an Aussie speaking of the coming global famine. http://www.sciencealert.com.au . They are so together, close to nature, practical, independent.
And, at the moment, I am so tired I must crash...
(Oct 12? - 7:pm): ok...
So polite, so considerate, so respecting...
THE SLIDE INTO FASCISM: It's an awful thing to watch this country slide into facism, but it's not too hard to identify, up close, in people who surround me. Even relatives who once passed as Liberals, turn into pod-people and drink the Kool-Aid, eagerly taking advantage of the misfortunes of the people they loved, to prop up their self-importance, to pass judgments as, suddenly now, they are magically: Expert psychiatrists, expert doctors, expert real estate ajents, expert land surveyors, expert investors, expert comedians, expert Christians, expert body-snatchers - when in fact they are being complete idiots. But they do know what's best for other people - and they do know they have some god-given mission to destroy those people, for some reason. It's insane.
I'm sorry of the spirituo-ethical corruption around me - I would rather it not be. But I have an obligation to the truth, to victims, to reason, and to my sanity, to post about it. I want others to recognise similar things that are going on around them - and to help stop it, everywhere, if only by voting. This whole throng of Baby Boomers who never grew up, they see death approaching, they are becoming senile, and they are still approaching life as if it were a child's game - justifying their taking away the dignity, the houses, the independence, the rights, the social securities, the very lives, of the poor, the gay, the alien, the Moslem, and so on. Motivated by fear and greed, with no truly real tools of coping - nary the tools they might have learnt had they lived in Australia, methinks. They use game tactics to capture souls in traps like insects to be tortured.
They will not stop this until they are, en masse, headed for the very gas chambers they helped to forge. Or, maybe something more than gas chambers - maybe something that might be cooked up by the likes of global warming, galactic chaos, or the poetic justice of outrageous misfortune. Hair-triggered, as the wheat drought in Australia soon cascaded into a full mortgage and economic collapse, worldwide - and who would have thought - that Satan would rise from such discrete obscurity? (A note la: 'tis the GOP who switched the stars on its Elephant symbol UPSIDE DOWN, denoting Devil-Worship!). Nature has it's justice, just like the Quant programs on Wall Street.
So, I'm sorry my brothers, but I walked as you would have, alone and full of life. One day, you will know me as your own again.
THE AMERICAN EMPIRE: It is the humble who ultimately rule. It is the weak who are attacked - for they are the most feared - the most powerful because of the truth they signify. It is the little-guy radical that the spy networks seek to quash. It is the little guy who pays the taxes for other people's mistakes. And it is the politically powerless whom the limbic, cowardly bullies prey upon. There is no King in this present-day Empire to throw into shackles a poor thief-of-bread and send him off to the prison plantations in Botany Bay. But... There have been 352 people serving LIFE-sentences for petty theft, because of the unconstitutional, "Three-Strikes" rule...
(There have always been large discrepancies between the suburbs and the inner cities - better access to fresh produce, better schools, etc. Justice has always generally been skewed against the little guy: bails; putting petty thieves in jail, letting white collar criminals go; higher penalties for crack crimes as opposed to coccaine crimes, etc. Insurance companies methodically educate it's workers the philosophy that the little guy - the guys who are hit by fires, floods, accidents, etc. - this guy is a lazy bum trying to game the insurance industry, so do whatever you can NOT to deliver on his claim. Witness BP. And so on. Look at the poor elderly and handicapped people who were abandoned in Katrina, or the trooops on the ground to quash hungry looters. Bush - the avoidance... It's not too far a leap from this to the NAZI philosophy of prison camps, experimentation, executions, pink triangles and yellow stars of David, invasions... It's not too far at all) ...
... and so - the American Empire preserves and perpetuates itself even more perniciously - investing in a bubbling economy which thrives upon manufacturing scarcity, and so poverty - and outsourcing jobs - or purging the tiny shadow enemies of its state at every little turn - turning out civilian and covert scavengers to do it's dirty work in the neighbourhood trenches - let family members destroy other family members, let bullies goad and frighten and rally the morally absurd into attacking the creative amongst us, let legion upon legion of computer and intelligence ajents go out and surveille the phones, the internet, the street intersections - and let them take their tolls there. Let the think-tanks and PACS go forth and muster up witches and homophobes and hicks, and let them all go into Congress, by the good funding of Communist China.
What? Yes, the American Empire is a whore. It is run by corrupt "free market" elites and intelligence gangs from here to the UK to Israel to China, to your alcohol-splattered kitchen table, wherein a family squabble is soon igniting into a Feadral Issue. Let the corporate trial lawyers go out and stall true justice, en perpetuity. Let the profiteers pass monies beneath the table, and go about abusing and crippling children. Let the toxins go unlisted. Let the banksters go unfettered. Let endless WAR freeze us all into 1984. Let us all end up in rags and pot-bellies, stunned and drunk, left for dead, imprisoned in this fetid fortress, America - children, still-born. (Let Standard Oil and Ford make a profit off of Mr. Hitler's little war, and genocide).
This is how it's done. This is how the great, modern versions of King George's East India Company rise and conspire together, and lock their links - genetic and imperial - in the one selfish interest of preserving American "Empire" - empire for the few, the proud...
And the rest of us? Sardines...
Let language devolve, and logic with it, and leave the shell of a child's brain, malleable and mean.
It's all about staying on the INSIDE, and keeping the outsider OUTSIDE. "Oh, look - he's getting mad at us! We like it when he gets mad. It's funny. Ha, ha, ha! Look at him out there, looking through the window. Ha, ha! Let's invade his privacy! Serves him right!"
Meanwhile, the Republicans are shouting, "The POOR caused the economy to crash! They were the ones who took out the bad mortages! THEY MUST BE INVESTIGATED !" - (Not true - bad "Ninja" loans only comprised 5% of all failed mortgages).
(insert): MORON GOSSIP: And, you can always rely on mere gossip to do the rest of the dirty work. We all know how crap TV can bring the populism down to the same lowest common denominator. Almost nothing but shows with guns shooting and fear and cheating and cheap thrills - interrupted by intelligence-insulting commercials, and political ads all about lying and cheating and fighting each other and not trusting... "Alexi's 'trust' is not good for YOUR WALLET!" Suspicion everywhere, and other people doing your imagining for you. This also brings us down to the lowest common denominator. Investors deliberately drive up the price of wheat, then of oil, then of housing, and now of corn, turn it into a "SCARCITY", then sell their holdings to make a killling, and PEOPLE LITERALLY DIE OF STARVATION or of FIGHTING AMONGST THEMSELVES. The damage of back-sttabbing gossip works in similar ways - it bores, it compels, it threatens, it drives fighting, it fuels insult, it sets demands. Most of all, GOSSIP STIMATISES.
Frightened old TeaBaggers and kids who's minds are warped from TV, texting and consuming instead of progressive conversation - always scrambling for the latest limited offer, the latest dwindling resource. I don't know if you've noticed, but everyone’s attention-span is so low that people just don't seem to know what they're doing anymore. They don't have a feeling for a bigger picture. They mainly remember images of what they're supposed to dislike. They recall innuendos. They make loose comparisons to ridiculous caricatures. They place blame based on incompletely evidence. They make false judgments. They react to their own irritability.
Gossip is like this too - it keeps you on edge, self-conscious, ready to accuse - seeking, manufacturing, examples to take back to the gossipers of what such and such foolish person did or said, how you were offended, how you were right, and he was mentally ill - almost as if pleading in a court of superstitious prejudice. Negative gossip drives a race to the bottom - it is mob psychology in the shadows, where each person attacks so as to save his/her own skin - just as investment bubbles, slash-and-burn exploitation, and the seeking of the lowest profits and workers overseas, all drive people racing to the bottom to save their own skin, and run off with whatever they can loot. People run off in every direction, trying not to get plastered like Nascar racers, covered with every manner of derogatory label.
Similarly, the failure of people in a society to participate in helping behaviour - as when a wife refuses to allow her husband to help a buddy for a while - this drives the most misfortunate to the bottom first, but soon drags down everyone else with them. This is all due to some degree of stigmatising the opposed person - the "change ajent" - seeing them as imposing upon one's own needs, which are usually, in fact, conveniences. The atomisation of society, serving self-interest, as through gossip eating away at cooperation, is almost enough in itself to do the bidding of an Empire wishing to purge itself of independent, and so "radical" (meaning "roots"), elements. Through gossip, children can be taught to be spies and trespassers and saboteurs, privacy can be invaded, and "subverrsives" can be neutralized. Through gossip, no good deed goes unpunished. No good stiff goes unburied.
Gossip is like Farmville. It is a virtual game, spreading and creating rumours and prejudice, fantasizing, en masse, about doing physical harm in the real world. It can be like voodoo religion, with a hidden, vicarious, superstitious hope - and expectation - that some misfortune will somehow befall the envied, or hated, or "immoral" person/target. And, lo and behold, something bad manages to happen to that person. Well, how do you like that. Someone happened to pop out of nowhere and bully them off a bridge - in "self-defense", of course. The invasion of privacy which began by dishonoring the targetted person's self-respect or reputation, using stolen information; and wheedles about in passive mob-behaviour whispering campaigns fantasizing about invading the targetted person's sanctity and sanctuary, ends in an invasion of privacy which violates social mores, AND YET IS SOMEHOW OK NOW, in the form of bullying. Gossip is the bastard mother of bullying. (end of insert)
A ONE-WORLD CURRENCY: So now - hear this one... Right-wing libertarian Allex Joans has long ranted and railed about something no one thinks is even worth taking seriously: One day soon, we will lose the dollar bill, and the world will be ruled by a single new currency - based upon IMF Special Drawing Rights, (SDRs). But Allex Joans eventually is proven right about a lot more things than you might think.
You know that Soviiet Russia sought to control it's single, independent currency amongst several countries, meaning to thereby secure the system. You know that Commmunist China, otherwise widely capitalistic, does not allow the market to naturally flux its Yuan - instead, it controls it's hard currency - currently 30% lower that it should otherwise be - to guarantee it's production economy, and so it's State. You know that the fiat US dollar has been the primary instrument of global exchange for many decades now - we prop it up in every manner of control - if a country like Iraq flouts it, for the Euro, we invade the country - all to preserve the Empire. Did you know that Nazi Germany, as well, sought to mark out it's own hard currency of new empire, all the way down to and including Brazil?
A single currency, making things easier for the largest global economic institutions, represents A SINGLE FIAT GOVERNMENT - and I say "fiat" government with double entendre, meaning also a virtual government of economies, superseding the civil governments of peoples. As Jefferson warned, if the Banks were ever allowed to take control, they would take from us all our properties, and our children would one day wake up hungry and in rags.
FLOUTING THE CONSTITUTION: We are already watching, as before our very eyes the corrupt "U.S. Chamber of Commerce" is using money from China to now-"legally" buy away elections and destroy our representative self-government. And this is now-"legal" due to an Unkonsteetutional move by 5 ACTIVIST members of the Supreme Court, ("Citizens United" case), to essentially dismiss the case's central issue and instead UNKONSTEETUTIONALLY consider a hypothetical, or self-created issue: The wider question of the corporate personhood "free speach" funding of all political campaigns. On this illegal question, and it's recent clarification, their decision became, predictably, that corporations have the "free speech" to fund political campaigns - and, as urged by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce in a friend-of-the-court advisory, corporations may do so without divulging where their money is coming from, may take money from overseas (as LIED by Alito would not be so), may hide behind shell non-profits, and so may CIRCUITOUSLY support particular candidates.
In addition, this is all rendered, even further, Unkonsteetutional, if you take the ORIGINALIST point that the 14th Amendment made no provisions that corporations had any rights even resembling personhood, ergo free speach - because that "provision" was in fact merely tacked on as a mere written OPINION a decade or two AFTER the 14th Amendment was finalised as law. But, recall, today's illegal Supreme Court - right-wing politicians in robes - would never have existed were it not for GWB, who was put into office illegally by the Supreme court in 2000, and then again by election fraud in 2004. Mais quis - we have fascism here, kids, let me assure you. And you may ask yourself WHY? or HOW? And the answer is simple: It is by a mass Konspeerasy of personality disorders that the rules of declining empire are wrought, and are so the rules of fascism. It is easy for the courts to make idiot decisions because they are, like so many others, simply fucked up in the head.
CONSEQUENCES OF THE ONE-WORLD CURRENCY: Well, the game is on - because, apparently, this movement for a single SDR currency has already been recommended by the (manipulated) United Nations, and it has been urged by 40 of the world's largest banks, and meetings are on - in progress - while President Obama has already put in something between $150-$250 billion to the World Bank to help set up the main bank for the transition. Of course, this is occurring quietly, so as not to upset the pedestrian economy - but the big players - you, know, the Goldman-Sachs of the world - they're all actively in the know. What does this mean? It means both an attempt to rescue the empire of the past, with all it's vested interests, and with all their needs to further expand beyond this country into China, etc., AND it means solidifying those elites in power, who have so far mainly GAINED through the general slide towards fascism. SO. You figure out what this means.
I can't tell you now, with as much certainty, that gold may go up to $5000 in 5 years - it prolly will. But they are interested in tamping down any extended rise into hyperspace - (see recent post w/ info on gold/inflation) - seeing as there are 45 times more options on gold than there is real gold, not counting the overstatements of gold possessed by banks, Fort Knox, etc. (Bank certificates to hold gold or silver are overextended, and overextended gold and silver futures contracts state in the fine print that they CAN be redeemed for cash only). So, yeah, they have a huge interest in TRYING to recalibrate gold whilst establishing this new fiat currency. The only problem is that such things as fascism and climate-change tend to very quickly get out of control, and so to lead to the same chaos bringing down the SDR currency, as would do to plummet the dollar. And whether they can safely move to a new currency in enough time BEFORE the dollar plummets precipitiously, with corresponding hyperinflation, is questionable - time will tell. One thing I do know is that if we end up with a Congress full of TeaBaggers, Katie Bar the Door.
So, now we get to the final topic of this post. First, I must take another long rest...
(Oct 12 - 10:pm): I just received my first "Text-to-Landline" call - a message on my machine, "DO YOU STILL HAVE THE DOOR?" I'm selling a door. But I can't call back to long distance numbers.
BANKING BY PHONE: As you have inferred from my subliminally insinuated implications - really? - I have been in absolute hell for three days straight. "Wait a minute, I astutely read that he was RECOVERING from a WEEK or TWO of hell, some days ago." You are correct. While almost pulling out of that, I received a surprise call from a relative. Although she saved me a lot of leg-work, the interruption, the pizza, and the exasperating conversation, conspired to throw me back into 3 more days of relapse. During these three days, my main accomplishment was to call my banks' automatic phone systems a few times. Actually MANY times - cuz I kept punching incorrect numbers. I was awaiting confirmation of an automatic "bill pay" from one bank to another. OK - got that? OK. Cuz once the money enters bank #2, then I know I can proceed with plans, once out of relapse.
So, I'm on the phone to auto-banking with bank #1. Finished, so I hang up. As sometimes happens, the service oddly calls me back, immediately. This time, I hang on the line - hear some Chopin - and then some guy says, "Bank #1 - Can I help you?"
"Um, no. I was using your automatic phone service, and hung up. Then you called me back, for some reason..."
"Hmmmm.... Must be something wrong with our system.... Hmmmm...." Well, I'd say. Since this happens a lot, wouldn't they have cleared this up by now?
OK - So, I eventually manage to think to myself, "They must have some logging system which identifies your phone number so that they can better verify your identity - for security purposes." (This is not actually how I think, esp. during relapses. I actually think in a series of logically-connected grunts).
Later that day, I'm thinking, "But what if that's not actually my BANK. Maybe it's someone monitoring calls into the bank, then capturing the phone number, "calling me back" because they're keyed into my line, and then stealing information by remaining "as me" logged into my account - or replaying dial tones so they can steal my pin number. I felt that it was just a quirky phone problem. But I have to deliberately think up these scenarios, in all areas of life, and then try hard to remember them, because during and following relapses, most thinking is not automatic for me, as it once was, like riding a bike. When up to it, I am constantly exercising my morsels of conscious thinking, while at the same time my brain desperately needs to rest. AND, you all boringly remember all of the computer hakking I have experienced in the past - associated with The Ferret - so I must always try to be on my guard.
The next day - today - I get a call from Bank #2. That is the bank where Bank #1 normally bill-pays (deposits) my $450 - every month. It's on my answering machine. I become very concerned. I am worried. I'm calling back. The guy is busy. I finally reach him. He asks me security questions. Then he explains, "We received a check from Bank #1 - does that sound familiar to you?"
"Yes..."
"Well, it's not made out to your checking account number here. It's made out to a different number."
That is, it was headed for deposit in someone else's account. It was an account number that had nothing to do with any account I maintain at any bank - nor any routing number or card number. It's someone else's account number.
I called bank #1 and asked for an explanation and/or heads-up, knowing they couldn't go into my online bill-pay account. We discussed it. No revellations, other than it was very wrong. The whole disruptive matter had already served to cement closed any tiny possibility that I MIGHT be able to do anything productive that day.
So, here we are. Did someone in fact hakk into my #1 checking account via my call to bank #1's automatic phone service? That's yet one more problem I have to work through. I can't get online here. I may need to switch around accounts, a direct-deposit, etc. Great. I'll want to investigate the suspicious account number. But, I began to think some more about this whole weird thing where the "automatic phone banking service" weirdly calls me back...
Why do these things keep happening to me? (more later)
CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME: (Oct 13 - 10:am): Still in recovery - not quite there. The big central brain problem, which has been around for about 3 weeks, is finally diminishing - so long as it was there, it always meant that my threshold for relapses was very low. And now my screwed up back probs are improving. So - I have the taste of oysters! - and this is a good sign. However, improvements on really deeper problems is not good. The lurking, long-term life-threatening symptoms are stronger, from all the intense stress, even while more superficial symptoms improve. That's like a giant analogy of the nature of CFS - you can be able to breath, talk, walk - while deeper symptoms are severe, and you're pushing past your energy-envelope, rapidly inviting future relapse - and people assume you are just fine - so when you speak of your illness to them, you are a whiner or a liar. And they have no idea of the depth and severity of the pain or the disability. I have come up with a new word for the state where people w/ cfs look well, but are more deeply on the precipice of a relapse - "debility" - it is a requirement that you limit activity even when you appear unaffected by the activity. Anyway, I may write more of the prejudice towards people w/ CFS.
Finally - had serious heart pain tonight, and some this morning. This often accompanies attempts at recovery - cuz the external cycles of health say, "Hey! Looks good! Feels better! Let's get up and run around and pump blood now!" Meanwhile, the deeper cycles and symptoms are not improved, and are even the worse for wear - so they oppose the external kickstart. And the basic CFS pathology is still in play, wanting to halt metabolic, energy, neuronal, and ETC., processes, thus increasing autonomic and adrenal emergency activities. This means a lot of conflict in core areas of the body, like artery constrictions in the heart or brain, while the external illusion of health is demanding increased blood-pumping. The deeper cycles also have to deal with all this scarring and deposits of pathogens, calcium, platelets, cholesterol, triglicerides, plaque, intestinal waste, or blood and liver toxins, persisting consequentially from all the stress of the relapse and the arduous coping - meaning, most of all, a persisting failure of oxygenation.
There can be a similar example of this dangerous hidden conflict amongst non-CFS people, especially people with (hidden) heart, circulation, aneurism, etc., problems. Waking in the morning, the more subtle external life cycles are all accelerating excitedly, while the deeper cycles are still too slow and in opposition. What can be the result? Heart attack. Most heart attacks occur in the morning. SO, a word of advice, be very careful with how fast you wake up and start the day; be sure you have had enough sleep, and be careful with how fast you drink that caffeine.
WHO IS GOING CRAZY?: Continuing with the banking story... Is there anything written above that says, "Paranoid schizophrenic?" or "Konspeerasy theorist?" All the things I've been describing have been REAL things happening in reality, often affecting my life - like the wrong checking account number, the weird automatic call-back, the Supreme Court decisions, the USCOC poisoning of elections with FOREIGN MONEY, even the move towards a one-world currency. It is a fact that there are many renegade covert US intelligence goups which are independent and secretly funded. These are things happening in reality.
But people who DON'T THINK, and people who ALWAYS THINK THE'YRE RIGHT; and people who LIKE TO DRIFT ALONG IN COMFORT; and who find it convenient to their self-importance or their need to gossip TO JUDGE AND STIGMATISE others as crazy - these people enjoy, or nervously resort to, dismissing information with which they are unfamiliar, and instead immediately paint the messenger as mentally ill and threatening. Real problems that happen to real people become examples of how these people are consuming themselves with paranoid delusions.
ABUSE OF THE ILL: So, something like CFS not only becomes largely delusional, it inspires conclusions about OTHER aspects of that person's life. If that person drinks once a week, not even much, that person is "alcoholic". If that person is having a crisis caused by bank manipulations of his/her account status - which is acknowledged as happening all the time - causing a destructive spiral of overdraft charges, then that POOR person is considered irresponsible with his or her money. Normal mistake, mistakes caused by CFS, mistakes caused by other people's greed, ignorance, benign neglect, abuse - these all become examples of how the person is just one big mistake.
Some of you have been through this, and know exactly what I am talking about: Due a defect in empathy or intimacy, due to greed, due to vanity, due to idiocy, due to selfish agendae: some people are absolute craps. And they circulate their prejudice in gossip, which motivates society to further handicap their victims. And the traps they set are so inane, so oblique yet obvious, so retarded, and so SELF-SERVING - so superfluous but for the thrill of the spite - it's a mental illness. It IS THE mental illness - and it is the blood and sinews of future fascism. It's no different than the SUPERSTITION which drove the Salem Witch Trials. And yet, it hides behind an aping of "expertise". In observations similar to these, Allex Joans, and now Norman Goldman (more and more), are quite on the money.
THE INSECURITIES OF JERKS: (insert): But you tell them they should really consider buying gold, and they think to themselves, "Why should I listen to that, when he's been crazy about every other thing in his life? It would be crazy for me to think about gold." (And so they miss out on real profit. Because they CHOOSE to be pawns of the dysfunctionalising economy - that's how you GET TO BE an elite - so the theory goes). "He' s just TRYING TO CONTROL ME AGAIN!" - Hmmmm... Why would they think the latter?? Why would they project that? You sit there, defending against their denial that you could POSSIBLY be virtually 100% disabled for days - and you try to clarify your NEEDS, not your whims or wants. It's as if they are surrounded by these gaseous, prejudicial bubbles filled with self-referential, backwards logic, preventing anything REAL from making a connection.
They will sit there, after all their judgment, and say to you, "Your problem is that you won't accept that we CARE about you!" What do they base this on? On walking away every time you start talking, expecting you to eat their damn farts? On throwing you a few bones, a few dollars, expecting to keep you supportive of all the thousands of dollars they have spent on irresponsible and unethical decisions, while they tell you not to buy beer, or a dog, or or a dress, or hair colouring, or makeup, or a car, or whatever they deem irresponsible? They feed off of the need of poor people for a few dollars - it builds up their narcissism - their conviction that they are the holiest people on Earth - and so can run off and commit more sins.
It isn't much different to the top 2% corporate elite, throwing campaign-finance bones at Left and Right political candidates, and saying, "OK, you kids go off now and fight each other to stay in office. You waste away your life in pathetic pursuits. But just remember, we are always the ones in Control!" Any slight hint to the contrary, any imagined threat to their CONTROL, and the elites simply call out the ass-ass-eens. Because, they can DO no wrong. E.g., THE KOCH FAMILY.
"Why should I listen to that?" Avoidance theory. Why be accountable? Why be exposed to your ignorance? Why show up at debates or TV interviews? Why acknowledge the needs of the poor? The way to win is to EXPAND UNDERGROUND... whilst hearing the voices of recent gossip and paranoia on your own lips...
THE BASIC PSYCHO-CRAP: Likewise, any mention of hakkers, of Konspeerasies (unless you substitute that word with the word "Unions"), of the destructiveness of the BP oil disaster, of Global Warming, and you are deemed as drifting back into the craziness of denial, which reminds them of uncontrollable chaos, a deliberate challenge to THEIR control, and they simply call out their ASSES, and turn them in your direction. Whereas, if you gracefully take into consideration the possibility or relevance of some of their points - for discussion - they immediately think to themselves, "See! I win! I forced him out of denial! I am always right!" Talk about schizophrenic - they basically only hear what they want to hear STRANGELY MUTTERING FROM THEIR OWN LIPS.
This is how the Empire preserves itself. It eats through it's ass and shits out it's mouth. It uses those calling themselves libertarians, and those calling themselves communists - it doesn't matter - it is true wrong-headed Konspeerasy. It is a MENTAL DISORDER. More and more, those with the money hold their money via corruption, not through smart decisions - and those with the smarts and the ethics - LIKE THE AUSSIES, YO - are deprived of the access and the means needed to invest in gold, in technology, in work, in creativity, in solar, in electric, in nature, in politics, etc. The closer they get to their goals, the more their costs are INCREASED. The more disabled they are, the more they are expected to jump through hoops. Because they are deemed crazy. (end of insert)
SO - once I cross the line into hypothesizing about hakkers, The Ferret, etc., these types of people eagerly rush in to judge, hemming and hawing. Because that is the POPULAR thing to do. The SAFE thing. Yet it is precisely this taboo against allowing to be uttered the word, "KONSPEERASY", which facilitates the very spread of actual Konspeerasies, (and keeps liberals constantly crippled). The vice is hidden in plain daylight. Wouldn't that precisely be the way that it would work, in some work of fiction, or in some example of society in Germany prior to the rise of Nazism, (which I studied in college), or in some backwards kingdom wherein mob bosses, Mafioso or Magistrates rise together and coopt political power? "It Can't Happen Here!"
Why do these things keep happening to me? ("Because you are crazy!!!") .....
CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME: (Oct 13 - 1:pm): I've been hit by some serious "brain-burn", which is like a mini-relapse - time-wise, not intensity-wise. This is immunological activity throughout the brain, which blocks out thinking and also involves some brain-flash and brain-fog. This makes today day 4 of the relapse. It means it is unrealistic of me to have much hope of going downtown, etc. I am finally starting to be able to putter about a bit, rest, write a little, then putter about some more. This is exactly the type of day where I can get myself ready to go somewhere THE NEXT day. Hopefully, I can also get garbage/recyclables ready to go out tomorrow - although I'm not completely sure what day it is today. I strive to begin the recyclables/sorting started AT LEAST 3 days before they are taken away. Must rest again....
(Oct 13 - 3:pm): Heart pain, fatigue relapse increasing. Underlying long-term severe symptoms now seeking to overtake again. (One shock of a loss, a few hours of cold, any big strain, and the deep life-threatening spiral could begin again!). Can walk around, feeling very ill, and no one would guess. Debility. Need much more rest. Found out it's WEDNESDAY. Garbage-men came and went 1-2 days ago. See how it goes. Meanwhile, the imperial Konspeerasies grow. I'm only trying to hold my own.
FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THE HELL: (Weds Oct 13 - 9:30pm): Well, I rested and MANAGED to sleep a bit. I am now feeling almost well. The center-brain problem and severe LT symptoms are almost imperceptible. It is amazing how easy life is for people who do not have this illness - and it amazes me, when I feel well, to think that people feel this way ALL THE TIME and yet they flout their irresponsibility and expect the disabled to reach completely impossible goals. As "youth is wasted on the young," REALITY - or responsibility - IS WASTED ON THE WELL. Most of them are completely blind to their own arrogance.
Imagine being as disabled as I have been for the last 3 days, and then one or two weeks before then - it is only NOW, at 9:30pm, that I feel at all up to accomplishing anything. Do you really think anyone can accomplish much in such a life? Much of the time, all I can do is write. But the Blue Meanies find out that you can write several pages a day, (even though sporadically and in pain), and they assume you are some BUM who COULD - should - be working at a normal job, 8 hours a day. It's criminal - it really is. And it only stands to get worse. And even though I feel well now, I am likely to crash again soon.
It just amazes me, that people who talk about "caring" will sit and look straight at you, and say such things as:
"Is your doctor just some guy helping you keep your dog? Are you sure you've been diagnosed correctly? Have you considered that it may be a mental illness? Everybody gets tired. You make it sound so impossible, moving out. So we should make it even more impossible for you. Because you don't see that we care. Don't be unreasonable."
And they say this after you've clarified the NEEDS of your illness, basically BEGGING them to pay them for their own bad mistakes which are disrupting your life, just to save them a little expense. And the worst part of all this is the utter BLINDNESS.
PERSECUTION = PRESERVATION: (Thurs Oct 14 - 11:am): A rough night. Tired. Just want to sleep. Pain. The question in this post was, "Why do these things keep happening to me?" One reason is because I am ill. I can't function much of the time. I make mistakes and forget things. People take advantage - denying the illness, and attributing things to some CHARACTER PROBLEM. Thus, if I'm morally incorrect, that gives them permission to disrespect me. Monkey people see pain or something alien, and their response is to physically abuse the victim. That's one reason. People project their own faults onto people like me. Gossip further stigmatises. Lost economic opportunity further debilitates. In my case, it is no longer, "WHO you know" - its how many people's fingers you can get OUT of your life, which improves life.
Why am I ill? Because some company polluted a creek, which I walked through, on my way to apply for a job. Why did THAT happen? Because companies, i.e., people, in this country, are bastards. Not too much dif elsewhere in the world. Although, compare BP oil disaster and Katrina to Chile's Camp Hope mining rescue, and maybe not so much. Remember that mine collapse in WV? That mine was not Unionised. And when Unionised Miners frm elsewhere showed up with all their machinery, and offered to help save the trapped miners below, what did management do? Masey turned them away - because they were Union miners. And so the miners below DIED. Makes ya really proud of America, yes? So ingenious. So gung-ho and "in-this-together". So compassionate. This is how the misfortunate are treated by those in control - left to die - painted over with morally-correct, self-promoting red-white-and-blue TV commercials.
When push comes to shove, the argument always turns to, somehow, "It was the victim's own damn fault". Because of the thousands of health and structural violations at that mine...
See "Dodge vs Ford" decision (1920's). Ford won. Although Ford's heart was in the right place, this decision REQUIRED that corporations do as much as they can to make money for themselves - that now includes OUTSOURCING JOBS TO CHINA.
THE PRESERVATION OF EMPIRE: The power of Empire rises by falling on the backs of the poor. Declining Empire will go so far as to cannibalize itself, from its poor on upwards, merely to justify this ethic. And, as I have said before: Want-as-need is the codex of Empire. We (Empire) deserve to HAVE, because WE ARE BEST! Our wants are more important - they are NEEDS! Our GREED is the rule of nature which BENEFITS everyone else. The world NEEDS us to take from it! If you complain, then you are a terrible-ist!
That's why, while they redefine THEIR wants into "needs", they automatically interpret the NEEDS of my disability - of my very SURVIVAL - along with the NEEDS of people across the globe - as mere whims, personal problems, irresponsibility, devious schemes, threats, and so forth - projecting on us their very dishonesty, shallowness, corruption, greed, irresponsibility, abuse... They are consumed by games, and will kill to win. Just look at how the Republicans play politics and legislation. They are literally killing people. Meanwhile, most idiot Dems simply try harder to play by the rules of the game, even while they watch each other get slaughtered. Politics is as good as gossip - it does the rest of us little good. And if the Dems lose this time around, it will harm us big time.
WHY ARE THESE THINGS HAPPENING TO ME?: CFS, pollution, other people's bad decisions, paying the sins and taxes of the zombified elite - why is this happening? You know that banks regularly have played with the status of your accounts to make it more likely that you will overdraft - just as they manipulate service fees on loans, sell loans even while you're keeping up on payments, and so on and so forth. Well, I got caught in an overdraft spiral due to such shenanigans, and then was prohibitted from correcting it. PayPal kept trying to charge my account over and over - and I was soon $1000 in debt to the bank. By the time I obtained help from someone to cover this, waiting a month for the check, I was another $500 in debt. It took forever to climb out of that. Then you end up trying to defend your reputation because of all the crap that follows. Why did that happen to me? Because my poverty was exploited, that's why. Because my CFS left me mathematically incompetant.
That was BEFORE 2008, when it was easy for a lot of people to simply regard me as irresponsible. Now they're feeling the pinch. And who do they try to pass along their new bill to? That's right.
And many of you know of the highly rad MySpace I created - it wasn't porn or pedophilia or anything terrible - it was all fun. This was before Lady GaGa, but very popular. It was also shocking to certain people. Plus, you have this here LJ - madman101 - which is rad but not revolutionary - it's main "threat" to certain groups might be that it is honest and thought-out. It tends to talk about the truth, with a flourish of humour and hyperbole. I'm NOT out of control or advocating violence or anything like that.
I have also written countless Letters-to-the-Editor in this town, Madison, Chicago, and to papers across the country - and had a weekly newspaper column, a bit like my LJ, which was anonymous until near the end. These were highly anti-Bush, etc. Everything I said in those columns have been born out as being TRUE. I have participated in Lefty marches and gatherings. Plus, I have been in significant trouble with the law twice in my life, and both times, the warrant for arrest was expunged - everything being due to misunderstandings. I was high in debt to Student Loans - but these have been forgiven. My illness sent me into homelessness and debt, leaving a bad credit rating - but who doesn't have a bad credit rating?
So..... SINCE it is a fact that covert intelligence groups DO surveille and hakk, even WITHOUT warrants - do you see that it is POSSIBLE that I am on a "STIFLE" list of one of those groups? You know of the many times my computer has been hakked, no matter what I did, through the same ajents in China, associated with The Ferret. These things happen to ME because... I am schitzophrenic? A Konspeerasy theorist? Mentally ill? Irresponsible? Or - maybe it's just because I'm an Aussie without an accent... Keeping my mind free...
KONSPEERACY THEEERY: So, I was thinking more about this automatic phone banking service. Could it be that something like The Ferret is monitoring phone-calls to banks, more specifically, MY calls, and is dipping into my checking account as another way of undermining me? For the sheer pleasure of their spite and their moral correctness - their "need" to quash and control? I'd say this is VERY possible. It's not like I don't have enough to deal with - my CFS, my finances, my relatives, gossip, jackasses... I ALSO have to deal with being on The Ferret's self-serving Hit List? It's very possible. Because when you lose your umbrella, when it rains, it pours.
Facts: China was given special permission to see secret, invisible Microsoft programme codes, giving them, and any associates, the ability to write worms that allow them into any Windows computer. The Ferret, and others, are involved with ajents in Chinese intelligence and businesses. It is not simply an outsourcing of our jobs, it is an undermining of our security. How many times have I been critical of China in this LJ? My hakked computer always begins in China and ends traceable to IPs on record as belonging to The Ferret. Internet servers also allow some agencies like The Ferret to monitor people on the web - apparently using one or two of their own IPs. Google and Yahoo are not trustworthy. I have had highly suspicious phone calls and messages and hang-ups from dubious origins. AND, it's a fact that AT&T and most, if not all other telecom companies, allow continuous phone tapping, even from within their buildings. That's simply something I have come to trust is true. There are agencies and programmes tapping into your calls and posts and emails based on hundreds of tag-words or links or calls or IPs or search keywords or vissitted web sites - or even mere innuendo. This is all true.
It's as if an Aussie is walking along, he sees a sparkley red stone, and says, "This is a sparkley red stone, " because he is saying what is true. I am saying what is true. But many people who have personal agendas, actually dependencies, bought into the same gossipy, control-fixated mental illness GAME as the elites and agencies which would make mincemeat of the poor, if it came to that - they see this talk about a sparkley red stone, and they feel they are obligated to call it crazy Konspeerasy theory - lies - paranoid schizophrenia? AND, when you write about THIS truth, this knee-jerk, morally-correct judgmentalism in society, then the covert agencies and law enforcement have you under observation. Catch-22: THE VICE ON THE POOR - (see previous posts). Nobody says, "Hey, let's look at the stone... Maybe it's quartz, maybe it's iron - a meteorite?! Maybe it even CONTAINS GOLD!"
WE KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU: Instead, the game is to think, "Ha! Here's another way to convince myself that my WANTS are actually NEEDS! Here is a way to GAIN special PRIVILEDGE! By knocking down another idiot in the name of state morality! Because gossip is so enriching! It brings such great sex! I am SO IN! I can use this to BUY FAVORS!"
"SINCE he is 'a crazy Konspeerasy theorist', we now know better than him - we know better how he should live. We can now - FINALLY (freedom!) - pass moral judgment on him, which isn't really moral judgment, because it's sanctioned by the State! Therefore, it is SCIENTIFIC!" And the State is telling itself, "Great - we get to string this bastard up, because this is POPULARLY sanctioned! Or at least, our science tells us IT IS WHAT IS BEST FOR THE PEOPLE-SHEEP." All from the same personal disorder of Imperial Arrogance.
When a person feels he or she must manipulate someone else, to their detriment, in order to fulfill any wants, then that person has elevated those wants into false, assumed "needs." And this - losing the independence of Zennish detachment - this is the major step into soul-destroying, dysfunction Imperialism. For, it is fine to either a borrower or lender be, unless there is this loss into perversity. Then all bets are off. It becomes a game of dependency, enabling, artifice and elimination. It's like becoming a zombie.
And, the easy way of denying that one is not contradicting the best interests of the exploited person is by convincing that person that he/she will be better of, because of YOU. YOU know best! YOU are NOT A WITCH! You have wormed yourself into their programme - got your fingers into their business.
And if THAT doesn't work, if your GENEROSITY is spurned - well then you have the moral right to blithely shove them off into deprivation, perhaps even into stoning, whatever. OR - you ask for someone's help, they help you, you can pass moral judgment against them, and somehow get to walk off with their possessions. Same dynamic, basically. False needs. Usury. Check out http://www.normangoldman.com for his Thursday Oct. 14 bit about Wall Street finding it morally OK to walk off with people's homes, which Wall Street has no right to, simply by calling them "bums" for not making their mortgage payments. So very relevant to the theme of this post.
EXPANDING INWARDS: You see, when a society and economy becomes counterproductive, when Empire becomes dysfunctional, what once was a public philosophy of progress, growth and expansion ONWARDS AND UPWARDS, now is a private Konspeerasy to get your fingers into every possible private crevice and activity and thought of whomever you can, WITHOUT getting your hand bitten off. It is an expansion into personal privacy, into secrets, into bedroom sex, into moral choices, into personal inspiration, into self-determination and will, into creativity and imagination, into health, into privatising government, and ultimately INTO LIFE ITSELF.
See how the Republicans try to expand (and privatise) the government (and its debt) by CONTROLLING what others do in their bedrooms, by controlling the right to marry, by controlling social security, by controlling education and textbooks, by controlling the picture of whom "are", destroying their very own, private INTEGRITY. Calling into question every choice they make. Stopping social progress towards freedom and wealth - and health - looting the COMMONS. Rendering helpless as many as they can, so they can co-opt these victims, play them agaisnt each other, and PROFIT. By falling on the poor, Empire rises - in a funeral pyre. And watch the Dems be mesmerized and defeated by this perverse display of baboon "authority". It's a rigged game. It is a Konspeerasy of dunces.
That's why these things happen to me. That's why I write about them. They are happening to the greater part of our society. And they are being promulgated by the whole of our society.
INSERT, WRITTEN 3 DAYS AGO: Well, I spent Sat. Aft/eve w/ a certain relative. I'll write more later. We went to Old Chicago's, etc. I am in day number 2 of relapse from it. I am stunned by the degree to which all of them are messed up in the head as far as judgment goes. What a bunch of unnecessary dysfunction. Selfishness, spite, denial - they continue being blind to their bad decisions. I'm the scapegoat that makes it all happen.
"Omg! The poor are trying to CONTROL us! The illegal immigrants are taking our jobs! The minorities want to live off our taxes! Let's arrange it so we PROVE this is so! Let's string them out even further - dismiss, obfuscate, deny, ignore, undermine, insinuate, blame... Let's destroy the whole government - the commons - their lives - because of THEIR immoral CULTURE WAR against US!! We must DESTROY them in order to SAVE them! And we only charge $75! Because we love them."
"Hey, look: He's hanging by his toe, from a rope! Let's scoot him over the Grand Canyon, and discuss with him how all of his decisions are wrong. Because - (unlike us) - HE'S mentally ill. Who else would be so crazy as to hang suspended by a rope over the Grand Canyon? - Any pennies left in his pockets, btw?"
Barack Obama - "Change comes from the bottom!"
"I have no problem with gays... But gays should not be allowed to marry - or TEACH. Because we have a right to tresspass into, and control, their private lives." Paladino / Diment
Gay man sodomised by bastards... check this
btw - a note: The more you encourage moralistic bigotry against groups like gays, or alcohol or pot, etc., the more underground economies and mobs pop up to protect them at bars, etc. Anything-for-the-Money Paladino who opportunistically opposes, gays yet rented his buildings to them, is precisely the same kind of corrupt Don who steps in to assume broad political power. Go too far, and you end up like Mexico.
http://www.hearingvoices.com - lennon - recommended
(NOTE: Other links and FUN QUESTIONS have been moved to the end of this mega-post).
THE LOCO BEAT: "Why isn't he thanking us for helping him?", said the City crew who, rather than cutting the branches, as he had solicited them to do, destroyed his lilac bush and only addressed random irrelevant "code violations". This is the local mentality. I just thought this was a perfect analogy. And then, when YOU help people here appropriately, as THEY ask you to, they stab you in the back - and walk off with your possessions. This is the new "morally correct." Insane, bad decisions everywhere I look - as if everyone has been brainwashed to become a Konspeerasy of right-wing losers.
GOSSIP PERMITS INTRUSION: But gossip - assuring them all that they are in the right - gossip is a good thing. Look, you know, when your brains are congested with irrationality, and you are only capable of making BAD DECISIONS, how else are you going to make up the difference survive in reality, not fail, & prove that you are "ALWAYS RIGHT"? By thieving away the wealth and the good will of anyone and everyone. That's how. The need to exploit others is based on a ruthless inability to think straight.
Vice is versa.
Irrational language, unethical behaviour... http://www.radiolab.org And thanks to Familiar gossip, we will soon receive this drunken call:
"Hello?"
"So, I heard you got some guy from some nutrition place to pretend he was your doctor so you can keep your dog - because your CFS is really just a scheme to manipulate people. Like when you asked us to help make house repairs. That's OK, man! Whatever you want to do. But the house might be condemned - because we love you, man."
"No, *Relative*, I am ILL. I am DISABLED. And, I am not dragging my feet on finding an apartment. I am not buying time by paying the property tax bill. I am not mentally ill. I am not trying to manipulate people. I am not drunk. I am DISABLED. I can't DO things. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME OTHER THAN MY ILLNESS."
"You're lying, man. You're a liar. Come on, man! There's something wrong with ALL the males in this family. You know there's really something wrong with you, man. Why are you lying?"
If you were me, would you really choose to be around this? Would you CHOOSE to be dependent on these people? Yes, I lie - IN BED - for days on end! They creep about and wait to fall in line behind the next fascist bully. When they see me becoming independent, they increase my expenses. How can HUMANS not be aware of such MONKEY behaviour? (END OF INSERT)
WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A JOB: The lot of them are largely jealous that I don't have a job, and sanctimoniously correct because they DO. A "job", to them, is something you do, which you HATE - and so I should be doing this, as well. We HATE our jobs, but we work because we are SINNERS - we must pay our penance. And, so - how dare I think that I am NOT a sinner - that I am somehow BETTER than them?
My CFS is about 12 full-time jobs - what are they talking about?
But the point of jobs is to serve other people in society - it is a social contract - a mutual enrichment. NOT in a dysfunctional economy! So, there is no joy in them that they are working to serve or to help other people in society, by making good products and services, and by paying taxes. No. Greed has undermined all those feelings. And their greed - their wants-now-needs - must undermine the unemployed. The poor are inherently immoral. Their own fear of poverty is too great - it is a need of an order so great that it is beyond comprehension - it all comes out as denial and anger and passive-aggressive spite and crucifixion via invasion of the privacy of the poor! I would be the very type of person their work, in a functional society, would HAPPILY serve - a relative, no less.
"What do you mean you 'can't'?! How can you 'CAN'T'?! That's unAmerican! I'll CAN YOU!!!" - And that's how the word, "can", came to mean both, "To be fired", and, "The Crapper." See also, "Can doo doo."