I am blown away by your apparent lucid and evenhanded grasp on all the details in the face of intense emotional + physical turmoil... like a volcanologist (I'm sure there's a less layman term for it, but danged if I know what it is) trapped in a danger area continuing to radio in measurements of temperature data and gas venting until their station becomes a mound of slag inhabited by a few scorched bones (except of course that your experience is not so conclusive ... but perhaps it feels like it is.) I am confident that your gut-wrenching report will be a comfort to some of this and next year's victims of statistical evitability, but what is not clear to me is what will be a comfort to you. In matters of tact, emotion and sensitivity I have a track record of being stunted and a bit of a tool -- now, years later, I want to talk to my sister about her failed pregnancy, but somehow I doubt that it's the sort of thing anyone ever wants to revisit.
Anyhow, instead of continuing to make a production about how I feel bad about not having any relevant condolences (this is not about my feeling bad, after all; I feel bad for you and Scott & have some (abstract) understanding of what a blow this must be to you specifically) I'm going to step aside and let someone take the stage who can do something more effective than fumble and grimace.
Well, to be fair, it's been a month since I found out that I was going to miscarry, so I've had a while to gather and process information. Plus, I've been talking to Scott, and my sister, and one or two close friends, so I've even had opportunities to set the ideas to words.
It's kind of funny how many words you use to say, "wow."
If you do want to try to talk to your sister, you have a valid excuse now--you could say, "a friend of mine had a miscarriage this week, and it got me thinking about the subject. I know we never really talked about it when you were going through this, but would you feel okay about talking now?"
Anyhow, instead of continuing to make a production about how I feel bad about not having any relevant condolences (this is not about my feeling bad, after all; I feel bad for you and Scott & have some (abstract) understanding of what a blow this must be to you specifically) I'm going to step aside and let someone take the stage who can do something more effective than fumble and grimace.
I'm very sorry.
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It's kind of funny how many words you use to say, "wow."
If you do want to try to talk to your sister, you have a valid excuse now--you could say, "a friend of mine had a miscarriage this week, and it got me thinking about the subject. I know we never really talked about it when you were going through this, but would you feel okay about talking now?"
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