to boldly go..
it's over. over. lp is done, and i'm not saddened by it in the least.
in fact, i'm actually very pissed at myself for letting it stick around as long as i did. it was a joke, at the end. a joke in poor taste, surely, but a joke nonetheless.
ok, enough with being fucking vague. get some balls, gloria, for christ's sake: say what you feel.
lp is over because i love garnet, and completely. i think about her throughout my day, if i need a boost in morale, or just want to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling.
the rational part of me is saying i should hold off on posting this until i am in a more calm mood.
but i'm past that "safeguard". long overdue past admitting it, too. past letting the fear of saying too much and having it be shoved back in my face.
in a very short period of time i have fallen incredibly hard. as in: my conceptions of future involve her. as in: when something happens, my first thought is "oh, i can't wait until i can tell garnet!"
as in: the thought of losing her actually made me cry. yea. for real.
so i'm retiring lp, because lp is shit. i want to be in a committed relationship. with her and her alone.
now, i'm sure there are those of you who want to know what brought this on so suddenly. well, there are a few answers: 1) it was coming along, slowly, of it's own accord. 2) yes, something happened. not as bad as you'd imagine, i'm sure, but i'm keeping the details between her and me. you guys don't get to know everything, you know. suffice to say i was a jerk. and i feel terrible about it.
lp is done. i can't say i'm even sorry to see it go. it was a nice phase, but a phase after all. i've never thought myself (for more than it took to say it out loud and hear the empty echo in my head and heart) the sort who can be happy alone. those of you who know me know this is true. and even told me so several times, during lp days.
so, yes, this ship has sailed. and my god, this life really is full of stars (i titled the post with a sci-fi ref, only fitting i end it with one).
bless you all, kind and gentle readers, and may you find the happiness i have.
in fact, i'm actually very pissed at myself for letting it stick around as long as i did. it was a joke, at the end. a joke in poor taste, surely, but a joke nonetheless.
ok, enough with being fucking vague. get some balls, gloria, for christ's sake: say what you feel.
lp is over because i love garnet, and completely. i think about her throughout my day, if i need a boost in morale, or just want to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling.
the rational part of me is saying i should hold off on posting this until i am in a more calm mood.
but i'm past that "safeguard". long overdue past admitting it, too. past letting the fear of saying too much and having it be shoved back in my face.
in a very short period of time i have fallen incredibly hard. as in: my conceptions of future involve her. as in: when something happens, my first thought is "oh, i can't wait until i can tell garnet!"
as in: the thought of losing her actually made me cry. yea. for real.
so i'm retiring lp, because lp is shit. i want to be in a committed relationship. with her and her alone.
now, i'm sure there are those of you who want to know what brought this on so suddenly. well, there are a few answers: 1) it was coming along, slowly, of it's own accord. 2) yes, something happened. not as bad as you'd imagine, i'm sure, but i'm keeping the details between her and me. you guys don't get to know everything, you know. suffice to say i was a jerk. and i feel terrible about it.
lp is done. i can't say i'm even sorry to see it go. it was a nice phase, but a phase after all. i've never thought myself (for more than it took to say it out loud and hear the empty echo in my head and heart) the sort who can be happy alone. those of you who know me know this is true. and even told me so several times, during lp days.
so, yes, this ship has sailed. and my god, this life really is full of stars (i titled the post with a sci-fi ref, only fitting i end it with one).
bless you all, kind and gentle readers, and may you find the happiness i have.