Bleeding Out: Chapter 30: We All Die And That's Deepressing
(*Alison's POINT OF VIEW*)
"Amy, I'm so sorry. And if there's anything I could possibly do-" I started.
"You're here now, honey. That's all I needed." She hugged me tightly.
"I love you, Amy." I hugged her back.
"I love you too, Ali." She let me go and touched my cheek. She went to Andy as I went to Brock.
"How are you holding up?" I asked him.
"I'm ok." He said.
"How?" I asked, stunned I said it aloud. "It tears me apart to see him like this. I wanted to weap for him."
"You just have to be strong for the ones you love. You're a warrior until they sleep. Then, if you want, you can lock yourself in the bathroom and bawl your eyes out. But once they wake up, even if they wake before you, you are a warrior." Brock said seriously.
"Don't forget to let yourself not be ok too." I gave him a hug. "I love you."
"I love you too, sweetie." Brock hugged me back. I let him go just to turn around to see Amy taking to Andy. He hugged her for a minute, kissed her cheek and then stepped back. She took his face in her hands and he nodded with a weak smile. I heard him say he loved her. I just hoped she wasn't crying.
~
Dressed a lacey black dress, black 3 inch heels, black rose earrings, white owl necklace, BVB ARMY necklace (as always) and a metal feather ring, I walked hand and hand down the rows of pues in the church with Andy. He squeezed my hand. As we sat down I leaned to whisper in his ear.
"You aren't strong for me. You're strong for your mom. Don't hold it in if you can't, my love." He nodded and I kissed his cheek. He put his arm around me, still never letting go of my hand that held his other hand.
"You know what I hate about churches?" Andy smiled, whispering in my ear.
"What?" I asked, giving him a confused look.
"All the getting up and singing." He cracked. It caused me to chuckle and I could see that was what he was aiming for. Andy's parents slid in beside us, Amy sitting next to Andy and Brock sitting next to his wife. I almost felt like I shouldn't be there with them in such a moment but then I realised, I had to be there. I was accepted into the Biersack family.
"Ladies and Gentlemen we are here to celebrate the life of Urban Flanders." The preist annouced, his solem voice ringing through the old church walls. I saw Brock put his hand in Amy's and I realised he was putting on his armour. He was a her warrior, as I was Andy's. So I suited up as well.
~
There was a lot of crying done on Amy's part. Her warriors, her boys, held her and she calmed down. Amy didn't really speak much for the rest of the day. And as we all watched Andy's grandfather get burried, Andy and I were the last to leave.
"Are you sure?" Brock asked.
"Come on, we can all go home. It's ok." Amy put a hand on her son's shoulder.
"No, no I-I w-want to stay just for a second. I'll see you at home soon, I promise." Andy shook his head. He was so hesitant about leaving his mom, even for a minute or two.
"Ok...we'll see you there then." Brock squeezed both our shoulders.
"I love you, both of you." Amy kissed our cheeks.
"I love you too, Mom." Andy squeezed her hand.
"Love you." I smiled at Amy. Mr. and Mrs. Biersack walked off to the car while Andy and I stood there, looking at the blackness of Grandpa Urban's coffin.
"You put anything in the coffin?" I asked, Andy reaching for my hand.
"Yeah. I, uhm, I put a copy of We Stitch These Wounds in there." Andy nodded.
"He would have loved that." I smiled down on the coffin.
"Yeah?" Andy's voice broke. I looked up at him and he was crying, tears spilling from his eyes rapidly. I squeezed Andy's hand and kissed it.
"Of course he would have." I put my arm around his back and Andy folded me into him. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and then put his chin on my shoulder. "Hey baby?" I asked.
"Yeah." Andy didn't take his eyes off the coffin, he didn't speak above a whisper.
"Maybe, you know, if you wanted to say somethin' to him...I could go walk somewhere. You know, over there. So you can be alone with him."
"Yeah?" It was the only thing I think he could say.
"Yeah." I swollowed down some tears and kissed his cheek, walking off as he reluctantly let go of my hand. I walked around the church for five minutes. I admired the building but really I was about ready to go home, back to Amy's house. I was tired, Andy was tired, and since he was tired he was losing the strength to be a warrior. I felt like him being able to take a break for being a "warrior" was crusial for him though. I lost my aunt when I wasn't even an adult really. I had a lot more questions about belief and couldn't handle it. I didn't know what it felt like to lose someone when you formed your beliefs and actually got even MORE years to spend with someone. If it hurt back then, I wondered if it would have hurt more if I had 19 years with Aunt Nicole. Or even if I had 22 years with her, like Andy did with his grandfather. I was about to make my third lap around the church when Andy caught my arm.
"Ali B." Andy said softly. I didn't hear him, I was still thinking. "Minnie." I still couldn't hear him. "Alison Biersack!"
"Biersack?" That snapped me out of my trance.
"I-uh-opps." He stumbled across his words. I laughed.
"Well, it's got a nice ring to it." I looked up at him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I put my hands on his neck.
"That it does." He brought his face an inch above him, showing me the smile I had missed for almost two days.
"And I like it a bit more than Mercer." I concluded.
"Oh do you, now?" He continued to flash me his now-white smile. It's amazing how much quitting smoking helps the pigment of your teeth.
"Mhm." I hummed, flashing a smile right back at him. He kissed my nose and I felt a blush creep onto my face.
"We have a gathering to get to, my love." He kissed my nose again, a happy twinkle in his eyes.