(no subject)
http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay
First of all, I want to say that I do think this mother is right to be angry about other parents' reaction to her kid's costume. If a 5-year-old boy wants to dress up as a girl, that should be okay regardless of what you believe about homosexuality, because it's a halloween costume, not a lifestyle choice. My dad put on makeup in college, and it didn't "turn him gay" or anything. I know plenty of guys who have dressed as girls for fun, and the women's clothing didn't "turn them gay." It's not that simple.
This post is sparked by the blog of a commenter on that blog. Her blog is about the nasty letters her Christian mother sends her for being married to another woman.
Apologies to the bisexuals and homosexuals reading this. I want you to know, I love you, and I don't mean to offend you or make you feel like I see you as less of a person or less of a Christian (if you are one). If you honestly believe it's okay, and that is based on your own research of Scripture... well, I don't agree with you, but it's not mine to say you're not a Christian because you don't behave the way I think you should. I'm trusting that God's grace is probably bigger than that. Because, after all, my ex-boyfriend told me I need to be Catholic, and that the Catholic Church is the only place I can find real TRUTH. Despite his arguments, I chose to remain Protestant. If he's right and I'm wrong, I'm still making a bet that God's grace is bigger than that. I'm trusting that God's grace allows us to be wrong and Christian at the same time. Because if not, there's probably only a handful of people who are actually going to heaven. And I'm not sure which handful that would even be, because every handful seems to think that it would be them and not all the other handfuls.
I really believe homosexual behavior is a sin. This is an honest opinion based on my own research of Scripture in light of pro-gay hermeneutic. I have read the arguments and I just don't agree with their interpretations at all. That being said, I don't support hatred of homosexuals. I don't support gay-bashing, anti-gay demonstrations, gay bullying or even trying to nag people into becoming straight. I think it's counterproductive and hurtful. I think some of the things that have been said and done are absolutely heinous.
I've been thinking a lot lately about if and when I have children. What if someday in the future, one of my children should come to me and tell me that he/she is bi/homosexual? I wouldn't want to be one of those mothers who is constantly making snitty remarks, nagging my kid about God, and being nasty in general. It would make me sad, for sure, but I would still love my kid and want to do right by him. But the question that's really nagging me right now, brought up by the one woman's blog, is this: if she wants to marry her same sex partner, and I get an invitation in the mail, would I go to the wedding?
I don't mean to be cruel or homophobic, I really don't. But from my perspective, a same-sex wedding is like a celebration of something I believe is wrong. I would want to love and support my child, but I'm not sure I could support him or be genuinely happy for him in a decision like that. I would want to be able to hug my kid at his wedding and say, "I'm so happy for you!" but I wouldn't want to lie about it, especially if he and I both know that his decision is tearing me up inside.
I kind of have the same question for if my kid was marrying a heterosexual partner that I thought was absolutely horrible for them (just by way of an example, if my daughter was in a relationship with a man who was constantly manipulating and controlling her, and they decided to get married). Would I go to that wedding? My lack of support for that decision would not be my loving her any less. In fact, I would go so far as to say my lack of support would be borne out of my love for her. Understand, I'm not saying the situations are the same. I'm not equating a same-sex partner with an abusive partner. But how I would feel about them would probably be at least a little similar.
I know this probably all sounds horrible, and I might get in trouble for this, but just try to put yourself in my imaginary shoes. If you believed what I believed, and you got an invitation to your kid's same-sex wedding, would you go despite your moral objections? Why or why not?
I'm really wanting to hear your answers, because this is something that is a distinct possibility for any parent in this day and age. I love my homosexual friends. I love a lot of people I disagree with. I desperately want to do what's right by my homosexual friends and loved ones, both in keeping with my conscience and in respect of who they are, what they believe, and what they want in life, and with this issue, I'm not sure how I would go about doing that. So I want the opinions of everybody reading this.
Since this discussion is open to the public, and not just my flist, I want to request that if you are responding, you would not accuse me of homophobia. Homophobia is defined by Princeton University as "prejudice against (fear or dislike of) homosexual people and homosexuality". My having honest moral objections to homosexuality does not mean I have contempt for or dislike of homosexuals. It's not fair to label everyone who has an honest moral objection as a homophobe if we are doing our best to be loving and accepting despite our personal beliefs.
First of all, I want to say that I do think this mother is right to be angry about other parents' reaction to her kid's costume. If a 5-year-old boy wants to dress up as a girl, that should be okay regardless of what you believe about homosexuality, because it's a halloween costume, not a lifestyle choice. My dad put on makeup in college, and it didn't "turn him gay" or anything. I know plenty of guys who have dressed as girls for fun, and the women's clothing didn't "turn them gay." It's not that simple.
This post is sparked by the blog of a commenter on that blog. Her blog is about the nasty letters her Christian mother sends her for being married to another woman.
Apologies to the bisexuals and homosexuals reading this. I want you to know, I love you, and I don't mean to offend you or make you feel like I see you as less of a person or less of a Christian (if you are one). If you honestly believe it's okay, and that is based on your own research of Scripture... well, I don't agree with you, but it's not mine to say you're not a Christian because you don't behave the way I think you should. I'm trusting that God's grace is probably bigger than that. Because, after all, my ex-boyfriend told me I need to be Catholic, and that the Catholic Church is the only place I can find real TRUTH. Despite his arguments, I chose to remain Protestant. If he's right and I'm wrong, I'm still making a bet that God's grace is bigger than that. I'm trusting that God's grace allows us to be wrong and Christian at the same time. Because if not, there's probably only a handful of people who are actually going to heaven. And I'm not sure which handful that would even be, because every handful seems to think that it would be them and not all the other handfuls.
I really believe homosexual behavior is a sin. This is an honest opinion based on my own research of Scripture in light of pro-gay hermeneutic. I have read the arguments and I just don't agree with their interpretations at all. That being said, I don't support hatred of homosexuals. I don't support gay-bashing, anti-gay demonstrations, gay bullying or even trying to nag people into becoming straight. I think it's counterproductive and hurtful. I think some of the things that have been said and done are absolutely heinous.
I've been thinking a lot lately about if and when I have children. What if someday in the future, one of my children should come to me and tell me that he/she is bi/homosexual? I wouldn't want to be one of those mothers who is constantly making snitty remarks, nagging my kid about God, and being nasty in general. It would make me sad, for sure, but I would still love my kid and want to do right by him. But the question that's really nagging me right now, brought up by the one woman's blog, is this: if she wants to marry her same sex partner, and I get an invitation in the mail, would I go to the wedding?
I don't mean to be cruel or homophobic, I really don't. But from my perspective, a same-sex wedding is like a celebration of something I believe is wrong. I would want to love and support my child, but I'm not sure I could support him or be genuinely happy for him in a decision like that. I would want to be able to hug my kid at his wedding and say, "I'm so happy for you!" but I wouldn't want to lie about it, especially if he and I both know that his decision is tearing me up inside.
I kind of have the same question for if my kid was marrying a heterosexual partner that I thought was absolutely horrible for them (just by way of an example, if my daughter was in a relationship with a man who was constantly manipulating and controlling her, and they decided to get married). Would I go to that wedding? My lack of support for that decision would not be my loving her any less. In fact, I would go so far as to say my lack of support would be borne out of my love for her. Understand, I'm not saying the situations are the same. I'm not equating a same-sex partner with an abusive partner. But how I would feel about them would probably be at least a little similar.
I know this probably all sounds horrible, and I might get in trouble for this, but just try to put yourself in my imaginary shoes. If you believed what I believed, and you got an invitation to your kid's same-sex wedding, would you go despite your moral objections? Why or why not?
I'm really wanting to hear your answers, because this is something that is a distinct possibility for any parent in this day and age. I love my homosexual friends. I love a lot of people I disagree with. I desperately want to do what's right by my homosexual friends and loved ones, both in keeping with my conscience and in respect of who they are, what they believe, and what they want in life, and with this issue, I'm not sure how I would go about doing that. So I want the opinions of everybody reading this.
Since this discussion is open to the public, and not just my flist, I want to request that if you are responding, you would not accuse me of homophobia. Homophobia is defined by Princeton University as "prejudice against (fear or dislike of) homosexual people and homosexuality". My having honest moral objections to homosexuality does not mean I have contempt for or dislike of homosexuals. It's not fair to label everyone who has an honest moral objection as a homophobe if we are doing our best to be loving and accepting despite our personal beliefs.