We can start a glorious day...
Today is a day that will live in infamy, the United States release of the long-awaited "Make Believe" album, rock's first great album since rock's last great album. I've got a lot to stay, and I'll start things off with a weerez update.
In an email titled "weerez" sent from myself to the inbox of one Cousin Baker at exactly 2:49:55 PM Pacific Standard Time, I wrote:
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I've compiled a list of songs I'd like to learn (sorry about the length/so much weezer, so little time) for the weerez project. If you have any objections or additions to the list, please return the list and note your additions.
my name is jonas
no one else
buddy holly
undone-the sweater song
surf wax america
say it ain't so
in the garage
only in dreams
tired of sex
getchoo
why bother?
the good life
el scorcho
butterfly
photograph
hash pipe
island in the sun
american gigolo (maybe?)
dope nose
keep fishin'
take control
burndt jamb
love explosion (i don't know if you've heard it, but listen to it once and tell me you don't wanna play it live)
beverly hills
this is such a pity
hold me
we are all on drugs
my best friend (maybe??)
haunt you every day (definitely)
Cousin Coates, out.
----------
In an email titled "RE: weerez" sent from the Cousin Baker to myself at exactly 3:11:33 PM Pacific Standard Time, the Cousin Baker wrote to me:
----------
This is my addition so far, I'll look more later:
*Peace
my name is jonas
no one else
buddy holly
undone-the sweater song
surf wax america
say it ain't so
in the garage
only in dreams
tired of sex
getchoo
why bother?
the good life
el scorcho
butterfly
photograph
hash pipe
island in the sun
american gigolo (maybe?)
dope nose
keep fishin'
take control
burndt jamb
love explosion (i don't know if you've heard it, but listen to it once and
tell me you don't wanna play it live)
beverly hills
this is such a pity
hold me
we are all on drugs
my best friend (maybe??)
haunt you every day (definitely)
----------
So, as you can see, the weerez project is moving along quite nicely. If you're a bass player or drummer in the Seattle area, please contact me via email (theradiothom@aol.com) or the Cousin Baker (bakermd@plu.edu). We're even going to set up a website to advertise weerez shows, etc.
And now it's time for today's installment of PEOPLE I HATE w/ ME! Today's "Person/People I Hate" is/are... (drumroll)... PITCHFORK MEDIA!
Best known for kissing Radiohead's ass and listening to nothing but Sigur Ross and Enya, Pitchfork Media is, technically, a site that reviews and "lists" albums, always putting Radiohead's "OK Computer" at the top of each one. In fact, the only race OK Computer hasn't won was the list "Top 100 Albums That Aren't Radiohead's OK Computer." And they even considered it for that one, too. Just to make things clear, I love Radiohead, they're in my top 5 favorite bands of all time, and I'll never stop having unmeasurable respect for all five members of the band and the wonderful music they make. But, once you read this review of weezer's new album by Pitchfork Media, you'll realize how I must discharge ALL respect for this institution for the time being until, if and when, they correct their, and I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt, "subtle" mistake. Rob Mitchum, the reviewer in this case, can be contacted via his email address at rob@pitchforkmedia.com. I encourage you all to send him a "polite" reminder of the error of his ways. If you'd like, you can use the email I wrote to him just today as an example:
----------
I'd just like to tell you how utterly and disgracefully wrong you are about weezer's latest release, "Make Believe." I'm not angry at all; more sad, actually. I've always pitied the mentally retarded, it's not their fault that they hate every album that isn't Sigur Ros's "( )" or Radiohead's "OK Computer." I want you to know that because of your review, and your review alone, I have lost all of the little respect I once had for this "fine" and "unwavering" institution that is Pitchfork Media.
Thank you for your time, and for the shitstorm that is your review.
----------
Weezer's new album is a masterpiece, and for all you pathetic weezer fans who hate every post-Pinkerton song ever written by the band-I'm building you a time machine so I can send you back to 1994 when the Blue Album came out. It seems that that's the only piece of music that will ever satisfy you, and I'm writing three entire albums about sweaters as we speak, since those are the only songs you'll ever listen to. Make Believe is brilliant, every note of it, and if you don't like that, then don't pay $13 for the album, and don't force all the self-respecting open-minded REAL weezer fans to listen to you bitch.
Thank you.
In an email titled "weerez" sent from myself to the inbox of one Cousin Baker at exactly 2:49:55 PM Pacific Standard Time, I wrote:
----------
I've compiled a list of songs I'd like to learn (sorry about the length/so much weezer, so little time) for the weerez project. If you have any objections or additions to the list, please return the list and note your additions.
my name is jonas
no one else
buddy holly
undone-the sweater song
surf wax america
say it ain't so
in the garage
only in dreams
tired of sex
getchoo
why bother?
the good life
el scorcho
butterfly
photograph
hash pipe
island in the sun
american gigolo (maybe?)
dope nose
keep fishin'
take control
burndt jamb
love explosion (i don't know if you've heard it, but listen to it once and tell me you don't wanna play it live)
beverly hills
this is such a pity
hold me
we are all on drugs
my best friend (maybe??)
haunt you every day (definitely)
Cousin Coates, out.
----------
In an email titled "RE: weerez" sent from the Cousin Baker to myself at exactly 3:11:33 PM Pacific Standard Time, the Cousin Baker wrote to me:
----------
This is my addition so far, I'll look more later:
*Peace
my name is jonas
no one else
buddy holly
undone-the sweater song
surf wax america
say it ain't so
in the garage
only in dreams
tired of sex
getchoo
why bother?
the good life
el scorcho
butterfly
photograph
hash pipe
island in the sun
american gigolo (maybe?)
dope nose
keep fishin'
take control
burndt jamb
love explosion (i don't know if you've heard it, but listen to it once and
tell me you don't wanna play it live)
beverly hills
this is such a pity
hold me
we are all on drugs
my best friend (maybe??)
haunt you every day (definitely)
----------
So, as you can see, the weerez project is moving along quite nicely. If you're a bass player or drummer in the Seattle area, please contact me via email (theradiothom@aol.com) or the Cousin Baker (bakermd@plu.edu). We're even going to set up a website to advertise weerez shows, etc.
And now it's time for today's installment of PEOPLE I HATE w/ ME! Today's "Person/People I Hate" is/are... (drumroll)... PITCHFORK MEDIA!
Best known for kissing Radiohead's ass and listening to nothing but Sigur Ross and Enya, Pitchfork Media is, technically, a site that reviews and "lists" albums, always putting Radiohead's "OK Computer" at the top of each one. In fact, the only race OK Computer hasn't won was the list "Top 100 Albums That Aren't Radiohead's OK Computer." And they even considered it for that one, too. Just to make things clear, I love Radiohead, they're in my top 5 favorite bands of all time, and I'll never stop having unmeasurable respect for all five members of the band and the wonderful music they make. But, once you read this review of weezer's new album by Pitchfork Media, you'll realize how I must discharge ALL respect for this institution for the time being until, if and when, they correct their, and I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt, "subtle" mistake. Rob Mitchum, the reviewer in this case, can be contacted via his email address at rob@pitchforkmedia.com. I encourage you all to send him a "polite" reminder of the error of his ways. If you'd like, you can use the email I wrote to him just today as an example:
----------
I'd just like to tell you how utterly and disgracefully wrong you are about weezer's latest release, "Make Believe." I'm not angry at all; more sad, actually. I've always pitied the mentally retarded, it's not their fault that they hate every album that isn't Sigur Ros's "( )" or Radiohead's "OK Computer." I want you to know that because of your review, and your review alone, I have lost all of the little respect I once had for this "fine" and "unwavering" institution that is Pitchfork Media.
Thank you for your time, and for the shitstorm that is your review.
----------
Weezer's new album is a masterpiece, and for all you pathetic weezer fans who hate every post-Pinkerton song ever written by the band-I'm building you a time machine so I can send you back to 1994 when the Blue Album came out. It seems that that's the only piece of music that will ever satisfy you, and I'm writing three entire albums about sweaters as we speak, since those are the only songs you'll ever listen to. Make Believe is brilliant, every note of it, and if you don't like that, then don't pay $13 for the album, and don't force all the self-respecting open-minded REAL weezer fans to listen to you bitch.
Thank you.