2009? Didn't happen, man.
Things are really starting to grind to a halt. What a letdown... you go from diary pages crammed with work and Christmas parties to... nothing. Work is really winding down - I've rarely had time to breathe this past month or so, but with the cafe working odd hours until January is well in and people sewing up the retail purse after Christmas at Marks, it's been at a stop the last week. I've actually had time to pick up my knitting needles and various other projects I have scattered around.
I got rollerskates for Christmas! I'm not sure if I mentioned it yet, but hey, I have all this time on my hands now. I'm just going to put a harness on the dog, get a good grip on and yell MUSH and let her drag me up the hills. I might be known as that psycho roller girl (I really HOPE I get to be known as that psycho roller girl) but that's fine by me.
Starting my computer course next week. This is the one I failed year before this past (by one sodding mark... beasty prof...) in the summer because I had work, opera, moving issues and a life to uproot. I figure it was the one thing I let go because everything else wasn't redoable. I'm looking forward to it, but it'll be a challenge as working 6 hours ahead of the U of S schedule will either work to my advantage (if assignments are due at noon -600GMT) or not (if they're due at midnight -600GMT). Either way, I e-mailed my professor and my department administrator just to say hi, ask questions about getting my exam invigilated here and what I can do about convocation from a distance.
I could have done it this past year, but it was a year of hell and depression for everyone around. I'm just glad I made it this far. There were a few times I thought I might throw myself into the Thames, but a year off meds has probably been good for me. I know my limits, I know what I can do without them and frankly, I'm better without them. I have sounder judgement, emotions that don't feel like I'm walking through cheese and my self-loathing has been confronted and vanquished. I still hate my hair and my butt. That can't be helped.
I went to pieces this year. I think a lot of people did. It wasn't easy, it wasn't fun, but it's over and there's newness and happiness ahead. It'll just get harder - as I say, it hasn't been easy or fun - but it has to before it gets better.
Oh, and I've started liking music again. Meds made me hate music. I think it had to do with cheese-walking emotions.
Now all I use to medicate is tobacco, Stephen Fry and pointless trips walking through town with no more than 2 pounds in my pocket. A drink now and then helps too, but I'd rather smoke than drink - one addiction at a time, please.
I have no resolutions for 2010. I don't want to quit smoking, I don't want to lose weight, I don't want to apply myself or improve my word power or set goals or learn how to type "embarrassing" without pausing to remember how many Rs there are. There really are no specifics anymore - I just want this past year buried and the lessons learned to move forward, and I want that for everyone who wants it, too.
I got rollerskates for Christmas! I'm not sure if I mentioned it yet, but hey, I have all this time on my hands now. I'm just going to put a harness on the dog, get a good grip on and yell MUSH and let her drag me up the hills. I might be known as that psycho roller girl (I really HOPE I get to be known as that psycho roller girl) but that's fine by me.
Starting my computer course next week. This is the one I failed year before this past (by one sodding mark... beasty prof...) in the summer because I had work, opera, moving issues and a life to uproot. I figure it was the one thing I let go because everything else wasn't redoable. I'm looking forward to it, but it'll be a challenge as working 6 hours ahead of the U of S schedule will either work to my advantage (if assignments are due at noon -600GMT) or not (if they're due at midnight -600GMT). Either way, I e-mailed my professor and my department administrator just to say hi, ask questions about getting my exam invigilated here and what I can do about convocation from a distance.
I could have done it this past year, but it was a year of hell and depression for everyone around. I'm just glad I made it this far. There were a few times I thought I might throw myself into the Thames, but a year off meds has probably been good for me. I know my limits, I know what I can do without them and frankly, I'm better without them. I have sounder judgement, emotions that don't feel like I'm walking through cheese and my self-loathing has been confronted and vanquished. I still hate my hair and my butt. That can't be helped.
I went to pieces this year. I think a lot of people did. It wasn't easy, it wasn't fun, but it's over and there's newness and happiness ahead. It'll just get harder - as I say, it hasn't been easy or fun - but it has to before it gets better.
Oh, and I've started liking music again. Meds made me hate music. I think it had to do with cheese-walking emotions.
Now all I use to medicate is tobacco, Stephen Fry and pointless trips walking through town with no more than 2 pounds in my pocket. A drink now and then helps too, but I'd rather smoke than drink - one addiction at a time, please.
I have no resolutions for 2010. I don't want to quit smoking, I don't want to lose weight, I don't want to apply myself or improve my word power or set goals or learn how to type "embarrassing" without pausing to remember how many Rs there are. There really are no specifics anymore - I just want this past year buried and the lessons learned to move forward, and I want that for everyone who wants it, too.