I Can't Handle This...
Have you ever felt like everything that could go wrong does so at one point in your life...yet you are trapped with all dead ends in your path. No one cares about what you have to say except for the 2 or 3 people that listen...but you're sick of telling them because you feel they are sick of listening. I have been sick for the last 5 days...not even because of general sickness, but my nerves. I am so strung out right now with so much coming at me, and I don't think I can handle it anymore.
God, I wish I could just spill my guts on this page (or 7) but that's not even an option. There will be one person out there who would either say "shut the fuck up you're life ain't so bad" or someone would just tear me apart for something I say... and I cant' handle that anymore either. This is getting to be serious...the shit that's been going on is no different than 10 years ago, but it's more severe this time...I just wish I had more people to turn to, more people who would listen, more people who didn't think I was blowing hot air out my ass with my horrendous stories...more people who would care.
I have few avenues to turn to...not to mention other things suffering as well. School is a great example. I missed class today because of being sick, but mainly because I had a nervous breakdown...I think I even scared myself. How do you explain that to a professor without them thinking you're lying or telling you to see a shrink (the last thing I need to hear right now).
I know I'm talking in circles, but it's the only way I can talk right now...
I just don't know what to do...I want to make so many things change or go away, and I just can't do that. You know, everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I just don't understand or see the reason why. The worse each day gets, the more upset I get, the more my nerves stand on end, the more I worry. I know some shit I shouldn't bother with, but with 5,000 pounds of crap, it's hard to sort through what is and isn't worth my time.
I guess I'm done...with this round of rants, but more are sure to come. I just wish I had some answers, or a way to paraphrase the last 10 years of my life so any of this new stuff happening would even make sense to someone who asked...I'd hate to be looked at as the crazy emotional girl...this shit is real, I don't make stuff up.
God, I wish I could just spill my guts on this page (or 7) but that's not even an option. There will be one person out there who would either say "shut the fuck up you're life ain't so bad" or someone would just tear me apart for something I say... and I cant' handle that anymore either. This is getting to be serious...the shit that's been going on is no different than 10 years ago, but it's more severe this time...I just wish I had more people to turn to, more people who would listen, more people who didn't think I was blowing hot air out my ass with my horrendous stories...more people who would care.
I have few avenues to turn to...not to mention other things suffering as well. School is a great example. I missed class today because of being sick, but mainly because I had a nervous breakdown...I think I even scared myself. How do you explain that to a professor without them thinking you're lying or telling you to see a shrink (the last thing I need to hear right now).
I know I'm talking in circles, but it's the only way I can talk right now...
I just don't know what to do...I want to make so many things change or go away, and I just can't do that. You know, everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I just don't understand or see the reason why. The worse each day gets, the more upset I get, the more my nerves stand on end, the more I worry. I know some shit I shouldn't bother with, but with 5,000 pounds of crap, it's hard to sort through what is and isn't worth my time.
I guess I'm done...with this round of rants, but more are sure to come. I just wish I had some answers, or a way to paraphrase the last 10 years of my life so any of this new stuff happening would even make sense to someone who asked...I'd hate to be looked at as the crazy emotional girl...this shit is real, I don't make stuff up.