The losing of Friends
I seem to keep getting the feeling I've lost all of my friends. I know that's a bold opening statement and would probably offend some of my friends if they read it just as is. But I will explain - this goes back to high school, the time frame in which everything revolves around, as odd as that sounds. I know once you get older you tend to drift apart from friends that you once had, and that's hard enough to deal with. But add in the personal factor of watching all your close friends just disappear into a new life and you stay behind is even harder. I have one friend who has gotten married. Marriage isn't a bad thing, it comes with growing up. Granted she has a new best friend, a new group of friends, a new life, new everything - and I feel tossed to the curb. I have another friend who I just don't talk to often. Honestly, I've fallen so out of touch with them I don't even know what to say beyond "hello" and "how are you doing". It's a scary thing. I have another friend who has found happiness in a different state. Now yes, I understand going to college in a different state will do this - but there is no more college for this person, she is just moving out there to leave Wisconsin and pretty much start over - and I know if I see her once a year I'll be lucky.
Here are three individuals I lived my life around while back in high school. These are people I trusted, I cared about, I cherished, and most of all adored their friendship. Now I'm not saying these feelings have changed on my end - but sometimes I wonder on their end. Sure, I stayed here in good ol' Ripon, it's not me to venture out as they did, but why does my safety have to practically cost me three friends, three of my best friends. It hurts to realize what I had for so many years was seemingly and easily washed away.
I want to make it clear though, I'm not blaming any of them for anything. Each person had to live their life as they wanted, and do what was going to make them happy. Does it make me happy? A lot of times no, but what can I do - maybe our friendships weren't strong enough, maybe they don't see it as I do, maybe I'm overreacting, who knows. All I know is I miss all three of them, I miss what we use to have, I miss talking to them, seeing them, going places with them, I miss everything about them.
Can I just rewind and go back to High School? I think I'd be happier.
Here are three individuals I lived my life around while back in high school. These are people I trusted, I cared about, I cherished, and most of all adored their friendship. Now I'm not saying these feelings have changed on my end - but sometimes I wonder on their end. Sure, I stayed here in good ol' Ripon, it's not me to venture out as they did, but why does my safety have to practically cost me three friends, three of my best friends. It hurts to realize what I had for so many years was seemingly and easily washed away.
I want to make it clear though, I'm not blaming any of them for anything. Each person had to live their life as they wanted, and do what was going to make them happy. Does it make me happy? A lot of times no, but what can I do - maybe our friendships weren't strong enough, maybe they don't see it as I do, maybe I'm overreacting, who knows. All I know is I miss all three of them, I miss what we use to have, I miss talking to them, seeing them, going places with them, I miss everything about them.
Can I just rewind and go back to High School? I think I'd be happier.