Staring at the Ceiling
Popcorn ceilinged, wallpapered, thinly carpeted, walls that hold people in, and people out. Places for us to go to when we are not home. Places for us to hide when we want to be alone.
I've been in worse, and for worse reasons. I cared then, and I care now. Two completely different reasons.
When you are alone, being alone is more of the same. When you are not alone, being alone is like torture. Maybe I'm unique. Some people can't wait to get away, to be alone, to do those things they can't. I want to do the things I can't too, but this is far from the place where I can. I want to hold her, first, foremost, and immediately. I want to get into weird pseudo arguments, that aren't arguments at all, but would be with anyone else. I want to do nothing and be content. I want to try not to grab her in the night but be content knowing I could if I wanted to (and sometimes I do grab a little but it's still cool). I want to watch a movie, realize I have no idea what's going on and start from somewhere it makes a little sense. I want to anticipate her arrival, I want to wish I could get there quicker. I want to listen to her talk to others and just soak it up, each little morsel of her. I guess I want to write a love letter, and I guess I have. I guess it's not entirely romantic, but I think she would find it to be a little so.
I guess anyone else will want to gag right about now. Don't worry the bathroom is pretty clean.
I've been in worse, and for worse reasons. I cared then, and I care now. Two completely different reasons.
When you are alone, being alone is more of the same. When you are not alone, being alone is like torture. Maybe I'm unique. Some people can't wait to get away, to be alone, to do those things they can't. I want to do the things I can't too, but this is far from the place where I can. I want to hold her, first, foremost, and immediately. I want to get into weird pseudo arguments, that aren't arguments at all, but would be with anyone else. I want to do nothing and be content. I want to try not to grab her in the night but be content knowing I could if I wanted to (and sometimes I do grab a little but it's still cool). I want to watch a movie, realize I have no idea what's going on and start from somewhere it makes a little sense. I want to anticipate her arrival, I want to wish I could get there quicker. I want to listen to her talk to others and just soak it up, each little morsel of her. I guess I want to write a love letter, and I guess I have. I guess it's not entirely romantic, but I think she would find it to be a little so.
I guess anyone else will want to gag right about now. Don't worry the bathroom is pretty clean.