cheers to a new year, jeers to the same shit
hello all
It's been over 3 months since last i wrote to you. At this rate my next entry should come around 2007. So much has changed. No, I'm lying. Everything is exactly the same. So tonight, I have a comp and a bottle of vodka all to myself. join me in the first drink won't you? Here's to all we will dream of but never see.
shot 1
I think I am going blind. Everything gets blurrier and more out of focus every day. I think I may have wished this upon myself. I will need glasses by the year 2006. Here's to incurable deformities and all the character they help us build..
shot 2
I am nearing 3 years of coital sobriety. I would kill just to feel close to someone. Jeffrey Dahmer did it, so... Here's to getting what you want, even if you have to take the most extreme measures..
shot 3
I finally stopped bucking against technology and trend and I bought a cell phone this week. It has a camera, so I challenged myself to taking a beautiful picture of myself. If only I'd known how much of a challenge this would have been, I wouldn't have bothered. I have taken an amazing amount of pictures of my face and here's what I've come up with. I hate every part of my body except my eyes. I have become almost obsessed with my eyes. I don't want to sound vain, but my eyes really are gorgeous. They are so bright, completely betraying my attempts at projecting a blackened exterior. Here's to hoping that all it takes to find true love is a couple of glass orbs sloshed about with blue, black, and white color..
shot 4
I am starting to fear that all of my music is bullshit. I keep challenging myself more and more and I thought i was evolving as a musician. I'm starting to think that I wasn't meant for music. I just don't have it. Dustin has it. If jealousy could kill... Here's to never living up to your own expectations..
shot 5 (fuck, that was almost a double shot)
I keep thumbing through my writings and coming away throughly disappointed. I can only find one line in everything that I have written that doesn't make me nauseous. "From the hearts of the stars to the bellies of the satellites." Here's to our singular successes. May they come more frequently. Please.
.
shot 6
I am pretty fucked up. I mean both in inebriation and in mind set. I have been authoring a short story of a man who is sexually aroused by his ex lover. She is wx as in extinct. It all takes place at the viewing, and it is quite reminiscent of my attempts to socialixe with members of the opposite sex. Had they been unable to walk away, maybe I would have felt alot less rejection. Here's to every girl I never had that guts to kiss. I hope you died.
shot 7
I wish I had a gun. I wouldn't shoot myself. I don't have the balls. Never have really. I just think it would make for some fantastic imagery. If you think these pictures are pretentious GOTH bullshit, please let me know at radiohedge@hotmail.com Here's to that classic gun in mouth pose. Yee haw.
shot 8
I anm starting to spill this shilt all over me. I don't know how long i can keep up this picture shit. If you didn't notice, i have been recording this journey into drunktasticness on film as well as int this journal. I am using liquor to enhance my writting. How fucking original. I am just stealing this from hemmingway. Does that mean all of this is plagerism? Here's to stealing the ideas of others and taking credit. Take a bow you fucking poser!
shot 9 (fuck, here already)
God, i am so fucked up. If you stay tunned you might just catch me drinking myself under. How exciting. Here's to the next drink and all that it promises.
shot 10
I feel like screaming. No, that's hardly true. I have been screaming. I just don't know what I want. I think I enjoy beeing unjappy. FUCK I AM SO TIRED OF BEEING SO FUCKING ANGRY. but anywho. Here's to anger and how quickly and easily it surfaces.
shot 11
I'm blowing into the nearly empty alchahol bottlee and I keep thinking of the ocean. I want to go to the coast. Oh god it would be so nice to sail off into infinite blue and green. K I am so drunk. I gootta go. hope you had enough fun with this. shit. I need speel check like a muther fucker. I am out. peack and chicken grease.
It's been over 3 months since last i wrote to you. At this rate my next entry should come around 2007. So much has changed. No, I'm lying. Everything is exactly the same. So tonight, I have a comp and a bottle of vodka all to myself. join me in the first drink won't you? Here's to all we will dream of but never see.
shot 1
I think I am going blind. Everything gets blurrier and more out of focus every day. I think I may have wished this upon myself. I will need glasses by the year 2006. Here's to incurable deformities and all the character they help us build..
shot 2
I am nearing 3 years of coital sobriety. I would kill just to feel close to someone. Jeffrey Dahmer did it, so... Here's to getting what you want, even if you have to take the most extreme measures..
shot 3
I finally stopped bucking against technology and trend and I bought a cell phone this week. It has a camera, so I challenged myself to taking a beautiful picture of myself. If only I'd known how much of a challenge this would have been, I wouldn't have bothered. I have taken an amazing amount of pictures of my face and here's what I've come up with. I hate every part of my body except my eyes. I have become almost obsessed with my eyes. I don't want to sound vain, but my eyes really are gorgeous. They are so bright, completely betraying my attempts at projecting a blackened exterior. Here's to hoping that all it takes to find true love is a couple of glass orbs sloshed about with blue, black, and white color..
shot 4
I am starting to fear that all of my music is bullshit. I keep challenging myself more and more and I thought i was evolving as a musician. I'm starting to think that I wasn't meant for music. I just don't have it. Dustin has it. If jealousy could kill... Here's to never living up to your own expectations..
shot 5 (fuck, that was almost a double shot)
I keep thumbing through my writings and coming away throughly disappointed. I can only find one line in everything that I have written that doesn't make me nauseous. "From the hearts of the stars to the bellies of the satellites." Here's to our singular successes. May they come more frequently. Please.
.
shot 6
I am pretty fucked up. I mean both in inebriation and in mind set. I have been authoring a short story of a man who is sexually aroused by his ex lover. She is wx as in extinct. It all takes place at the viewing, and it is quite reminiscent of my attempts to socialixe with members of the opposite sex. Had they been unable to walk away, maybe I would have felt alot less rejection. Here's to every girl I never had that guts to kiss. I hope you died.
shot 7
I wish I had a gun. I wouldn't shoot myself. I don't have the balls. Never have really. I just think it would make for some fantastic imagery. If you think these pictures are pretentious GOTH bullshit, please let me know at radiohedge@hotmail.com Here's to that classic gun in mouth pose. Yee haw.
shot 8
I anm starting to spill this shilt all over me. I don't know how long i can keep up this picture shit. If you didn't notice, i have been recording this journey into drunktasticness on film as well as int this journal. I am using liquor to enhance my writting. How fucking original. I am just stealing this from hemmingway. Does that mean all of this is plagerism? Here's to stealing the ideas of others and taking credit. Take a bow you fucking poser!
shot 9 (fuck, here already)
God, i am so fucked up. If you stay tunned you might just catch me drinking myself under. How exciting. Here's to the next drink and all that it promises.
shot 10
I feel like screaming. No, that's hardly true. I have been screaming. I just don't know what I want. I think I enjoy beeing unjappy. FUCK I AM SO TIRED OF BEEING SO FUCKING ANGRY. but anywho. Here's to anger and how quickly and easily it surfaces.
shot 11
I'm blowing into the nearly empty alchahol bottlee and I keep thinking of the ocean. I want to go to the coast. Oh god it would be so nice to sail off into infinite blue and green. K I am so drunk. I gootta go. hope you had enough fun with this. shit. I need speel check like a muther fucker. I am out. peack and chicken grease.