(no subject)
do you ever have those moments when you are completely stable in mind and then all of the sudden, silence strikes or a certain song comes on and your brain melts? like the entire mess of static in your head is finally too much and overtakes your emotions. and you cry. like you haven't done since early childhood. the kind where you start breathing funny, almost like you have the hiccups. there was a lot of silence today. many tears. over tra, over chelsea, over my life in general. over things that i am as of yet unaware. i don't know why my emotions have been insanely mixed lately. i just hope that i am strong enough to take these months of separation. how do i know that he views girls the same way that i view boys? they are void to me. i look at them and i think of him. i would melt if he were here now. it seems unfathomable to me at this point. like it will never happen. like it's unreal and he is a figment of my imagination. like something that has yet to come to me, but i am for one reason or another saving myself for that first moment with him.
i want to kiss him more than anything.
i want to kiss him more than anything.