Quality vs. Quantity... has nothing to do with anything im about to reveal.
im not very smart. i like to think that i am sometimes haha. i dont get good grades either but i most definitly could. I dont have this incredible massive vocabulary. and use words like MELONCHOLY. whatever that means. but im very complex. in other words i drown in my own insanity from time to time. and i like to add to it by intoxicating myself ....from time.... to time....... so... taking im a white girl from the southside, schooled with mostly mexicans and blacks and the majority of the poor chicagoans, i was almost always set out from the rest and i had few friends. now its different, i go to a school where if you dont have much money, live close by, or arent gorgeous, your chances of being cool arent very high. i have managed to place myself with people who dont care much about that. my mind doesnt compare much to theirs i think, but i still like to be a part of their conversations not all based on the new mini skirt they bought at the mall but more like the new album the purchased or issues concerning the world around us. i find these people so interesting. i wish i had more friends like this to talk to who live close.. in my life i feel i have lacked so much. in my lacking i realize im not cut out to partake in such talking. everything lacks im just a huge peice of lack. but i do have so much to say. i have so much on my mind sometimes i think the only people who want to hear my fucked up thoughts is my best friend jamie. but i have so many other views that i dont even talk to anyone about. i have so much on my mind. maybe im just waiting for somebody else to share it with me first. so i can say "oh my god yes thank you". or maybe im just crazy and i dont know what the fuck im talking about but you know thats okay because this is my journal and ill say whatever cuz im gay. i want to talk...express ideas. please lord the one im not sure i believe in but still ask of, where are the kids just like me?