wear and tear.

[radiodecay]

i've lost something.
all along the wear and tear of our bed.
but, it didn't belong to two bodies before.
no.
before it belonged to me.
and i didn't feel lonely lying there.
listening to the same record over & over.
reading the same lines at the endings of novels.
smoking cigarettes.
well, now all of that's over.
i stay up way too late.
thinking.
about nothing.
little do i know.
that i'm fucking myself up.
and that you all are just a fucking joke.
sometimes i feel like you aren't real.
and it's a relapse from the front.
i start choking.
because, lately.
being honest is so hard to do.
when there's only one person here to be honest with.
and that's myself.
well.
i've lost her too.
so, don't feel bed.
when your bed is empty.
because.
from now on.
the couch will do.