(no subject)
today was a very emotional one.
chad and I were stoked to see her because it’s been so long and i had heard she’s been doing well.
she showed up to chad’s house with a giant smile on her face and open arms.
within ten minutes she was on the floor with her knees to her chest
crying, hyper-ventilating
me rubbing her back
chad wiping her tears away
she just kept on repeating “i hate myself, i want to die.”
over and over again, almost in a rhythm.
the sleeve of her hoodie was bloody and it became clear she was still doing it to herself
she admitted to not eating since sunday and consuming three energy drinks already (it was only 2:00)
and swallowing yellow jacket caffeine pills in between drinks.
“i hate myself, i want to die.”
“i hate myself, i want to die.”
this scene went on for about 45 minutes until she fell asleep on the couch.
woke up an hour later claiming she was “okay”
i mean really,
i’ve never seen such an unstoppable fit of emotions.
it made my heart ache.
and i'm pretty sure she's not "okay."
chad and I were stoked to see her because it’s been so long and i had heard she’s been doing well.
she showed up to chad’s house with a giant smile on her face and open arms.
within ten minutes she was on the floor with her knees to her chest
crying, hyper-ventilating
me rubbing her back
chad wiping her tears away
she just kept on repeating “i hate myself, i want to die.”
over and over again, almost in a rhythm.
the sleeve of her hoodie was bloody and it became clear she was still doing it to herself
she admitted to not eating since sunday and consuming three energy drinks already (it was only 2:00)
and swallowing yellow jacket caffeine pills in between drinks.
“i hate myself, i want to die.”
“i hate myself, i want to die.”
this scene went on for about 45 minutes until she fell asleep on the couch.
woke up an hour later claiming she was “okay”
i mean really,
i’ve never seen such an unstoppable fit of emotions.
it made my heart ache.
and i'm pretty sure she's not "okay."