Back.
It's been a long time since I have updated. Things have been absolutely nuts. I use the title, "Back" because it sums up whats happening both in my life and in my head. In the next few paragraphs I'll try to put that in words.
I am back in Orlando. I was laid off from 106.9KZY in Gainesville in December. They claimed financial struggles and terminated the employment of me and almost 20 of my colleagues. I immediately (within 4 days) relocated to Orlando to get back on my feet. Thanks to the economic recession this has been a real struggle. I am now working so hard that I am averaging 5 hours of sleep a day and am really beginning to feel the fatigue that comes along with working 3 jobs.
I am back at MIX 105.1. In 2002 I landed my first real radio job at MIX 105.1 in Orlando and it was indeed the jumping off point for my career as a radio personality. After 6 months of waiting I was finally asked to return to the MIX airstaff as the overnight/swing guy. I'm loving it. I am also working for a company called Specialty Products Global. I basically sell Balzac balls with Disney designs on them all day at Disney's Animal Kingdom. The pay is REALLY low and the hours are long but its steady work. Occasionally I do "per diem" work for a company called RAB Inc at Universal Orlando. I work outside the Delancey Street Preview Center recruiting people to watch various pilot content from "the networks"...namely NBC. It's fun but not very frequent.
I am back in a steady relationship and for the most part quite happy. His name is Leo. He is 19 years old and a total sweetheart. We get along really well and understand each other. We do however have our problems. Frankly, I am having trouble keeping up with him sexually. I am now 26 and while thats certainly not 50...its also NOT 19. Another problem we have is my tendency to want to hang on to happy memories from the past. I still keep pictures of Fred around (while not on display) in case I ever want to sit back and remember a time when I loved with no reservations. It was one of the best and most painful times of my life.
I am learning who I am all over again. I am not sure if this is a normal thing for a 26 year old but I feel like I am having to re-learn who I am and what I want every day. It all changes so fast that I am struggling to concentrate and keep up. My mind and heart are being pulled in 100 different directions and I am truly confused by it all. I pray daily for clarity.
I have it pretty good compared to some and am doing ok for myself. I have income, I am back on the air doing what I love (granted its not the time of day I would like) and I have a great boyfriend. My family is wonderful and I am making new friends everyday. Now if I could just get some sleep and get my head screwed on straight all would be right and good with the world.