I still fall for that one every time.
WARNING: Real life update.
I feel like I've been annoying everyone lately. Myself included, I suppose. I think it might because I'm on a different birth control pill and the hormone balance is slightly different. I might be a little sensitive to things like that. At least it's not like going off and going on again and having that weird sickly feeling for two or three days where I kind of want to lay down and die but I don't exactly feel bad enough to cancel anything I should be doing.
At any rate. I think I have annoyed at least two people today, possibly three. And there's the "myself" thing. I was close to having an anxiety issue a few days ago. Faded, but I was in a pretty terrible mood the rest of the night, and have been off and on panicky and angry the past two days. Again. I think it's mostly the drugs thing cause I haven't been this way in awhile. But I guess it could also be the pressure I'm suddenly feeling about being broke and needing a job. And the grad school thing. I need to make some serious scheduling for myself. my life feels way too unstructured at the moment and it's making me depend on people way too much. Whenever I begin to feel dependent on the presence of others, I begin to feel like I'm losing control of my life and I get...
Well. Panicky and angry and annoying.
Fuck!
I'm gonna try to straighten things out this week. And I am fairly certain that I'm going to visit NH this weekend, so that should also help restore equilibrium. Though Professor Tapply's memorial deal is on Sunday and I'm not sure if that will be upsetting or sadly happy. I think some closure is in order either way, so I should really go.
Getting back into the swing of writing every day though. So that should be good. And help. I hope.
Oh life. Why are you so much fun for people who suck so bad at handling their emotions.
I feel like I've been annoying everyone lately. Myself included, I suppose. I think it might because I'm on a different birth control pill and the hormone balance is slightly different. I might be a little sensitive to things like that. At least it's not like going off and going on again and having that weird sickly feeling for two or three days where I kind of want to lay down and die but I don't exactly feel bad enough to cancel anything I should be doing.
At any rate. I think I have annoyed at least two people today, possibly three. And there's the "myself" thing. I was close to having an anxiety issue a few days ago. Faded, but I was in a pretty terrible mood the rest of the night, and have been off and on panicky and angry the past two days. Again. I think it's mostly the drugs thing cause I haven't been this way in awhile. But I guess it could also be the pressure I'm suddenly feeling about being broke and needing a job. And the grad school thing. I need to make some serious scheduling for myself. my life feels way too unstructured at the moment and it's making me depend on people way too much. Whenever I begin to feel dependent on the presence of others, I begin to feel like I'm losing control of my life and I get...
Well. Panicky and angry and annoying.
Fuck!
I'm gonna try to straighten things out this week. And I am fairly certain that I'm going to visit NH this weekend, so that should also help restore equilibrium. Though Professor Tapply's memorial deal is on Sunday and I'm not sure if that will be upsetting or sadly happy. I think some closure is in order either way, so I should really go.
Getting back into the swing of writing every day though. So that should be good. And help. I hope.
Oh life. Why are you so much fun for people who suck so bad at handling their emotions.