still no job...
bartending is an exhausting job... simply exhausting. i think if i were an alcoholic though i'd love it. i'm not this fun flirty hot drunk girl that half the girls i work with are. and the more i work, the less respect i have (and the less faith i have)in human beings.
and speaking of faith in human beings... last night i slept at justins house when i got done at the bar. i couldn't sleep because i wasn't really that tired. so i layed there with my eyes open just staring at the ceiling. then i looked over at justin and he wasn't sleeping either. then he's like "somethings been on my mind lately.." long conversation short, he basically said that he went out on saturday with a bunch of people while i was working at the bar. he met this girl and he said they talked and it was a fun time with everyone there. so at the end of the night he's like 'yea we should do this again' (meaning everyone there should go out again sometime)... the girl responded with "i thought you had a girlfriend". :::: why justin told me this, i'm not really sure. i guess he wants to be open with me. i knew he met a girl that night and it didn't bother me, but after last nights conversation i feel uneasy. so i guess my question is why would she say that if she didn't feel like he was flirting with her. i just can't get this out of my mind. it's bad enough that i'm overcoming trust issues from a previous relationship and have to work 10 times harder to trust anyone, especially guys. but then this. am i making a big deal out of nothing? i haven't really said anything to justin. and i'm not dense... i do realize (especially being that he's in a band) that he's going to be meeting a lot of new people. a lot of them being girls.
if someone is going to cheat on you, they will. there's nothing you can say or do that will change that. i guess i'm just weirded out that this girl would say that. i mean honestly i'm not sure what happened that night... but since i'm creative, i'm going crazy. it doesn't help that my roommate hasn't been around really for weeks, and i work a couple days a week. i have a lot of time to sit and think about things that really need no thought. it's funny how miserable i make myself. anyhow i was just wondering if i have any reason to be sketched out.
and speaking of faith in human beings... last night i slept at justins house when i got done at the bar. i couldn't sleep because i wasn't really that tired. so i layed there with my eyes open just staring at the ceiling. then i looked over at justin and he wasn't sleeping either. then he's like "somethings been on my mind lately.." long conversation short, he basically said that he went out on saturday with a bunch of people while i was working at the bar. he met this girl and he said they talked and it was a fun time with everyone there. so at the end of the night he's like 'yea we should do this again' (meaning everyone there should go out again sometime)... the girl responded with "i thought you had a girlfriend". :::: why justin told me this, i'm not really sure. i guess he wants to be open with me. i knew he met a girl that night and it didn't bother me, but after last nights conversation i feel uneasy. so i guess my question is why would she say that if she didn't feel like he was flirting with her. i just can't get this out of my mind. it's bad enough that i'm overcoming trust issues from a previous relationship and have to work 10 times harder to trust anyone, especially guys. but then this. am i making a big deal out of nothing? i haven't really said anything to justin. and i'm not dense... i do realize (especially being that he's in a band) that he's going to be meeting a lot of new people. a lot of them being girls.
if someone is going to cheat on you, they will. there's nothing you can say or do that will change that. i guess i'm just weirded out that this girl would say that. i mean honestly i'm not sure what happened that night... but since i'm creative, i'm going crazy. it doesn't help that my roommate hasn't been around really for weeks, and i work a couple days a week. i have a lot of time to sit and think about things that really need no thought. it's funny how miserable i make myself. anyhow i was just wondering if i have any reason to be sketched out.