Onwards March!
I sort of half accidentally, half on purpose ran into my Mythology teacher today. When I let it slip that her class + physics had resulted in an existential crisis she sort of apologized. It was nice of her, not that it was her fault. When you combine mythology, science, death, and love all into one semester it's obvious you're fucked. But for the most part life moves on and is better. Science you can forget, mythology you can deny, and death can fade. Love however seems to stain like red wine and is the stellar bitch of the lot. But then again, don't we learn early on to resign ourselves to a little (or a lot of ) heartache? So fun, fun, fun, and onward march!
So I've been trying to write music. The problem I keep running into is that despite pretending I can play three instruments I just can't. I guess I got a little to comfy cozy with denial. But regardless, I keep on trying.
Another problem with writing music is the confidence it takes. There really is no such thing as being original in music anymore, so what makes it original is that it's your vision, you really have to own whatever you create. You can't compare it to anything else.
I suck at this.
Not only am I a hopeless mimic, but any ideas I might have are quickly deemed useless by my inhabitions and I'm screwed. This is why I am convinced that I will be a much better artist when I am of legal drinking age and can get trashed when I try to create. The less I think the better.
Tonight I was over at the Rollies. Ellyn got home today (yay!). we spent our time curled up on the couch watching a cocktail of Dollhouse, News, and old home videos. Good stuffs. I think the ihghlights were seeing Carolyn spit up and, of course, the Boggie video form over the summer. If I could ask for any moment back...
I should go to sleep. Tomorrow the Rollies are picking me up to go shopping. Not that I have any money, I just like basking in their glorious presence(s?). I don't want to go to sleep. It seems pointless sometimes, I'll just get up again in the morning. Also, lately sleep has made me nervous, I keep on dreaming. I used to like dreaming, but these are the kind of dreams that are faint and slippery. The kind that leave your mind with an unsettling and unsavory after taste. A taste of masked fears and anxiety. Not exactly what I heard the Sandman aims for. But fun, fun, fun, and onward march!
I guess on that note I'll resign myself to my flannal sheets. After a few short notes.
CURRENT MUSICAL TASTES:
Death Cab For Cutie
Amanda Palmer
Eisley
Annie Lennox
Emilie Autumn
BOOKS I'M READING/ I HAVE READ RECENTLY:
Life of Pi
God of Small Things
The Red Tent
The Cosmic Mother
Le Morte D'Arthur
CURRENT TV SHOWS:
The L Word
Dollhouse
The Office
Robin Hood
NEW FOODS:
Hummus
Aloe Vera Juice
THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:
People coming home for berak
My scented candle (lemon and sage!)
My new jeans
Jojoba oil
Warm weather
Pigwidgeon.
So I've been trying to write music. The problem I keep running into is that despite pretending I can play three instruments I just can't. I guess I got a little to comfy cozy with denial. But regardless, I keep on trying.
Another problem with writing music is the confidence it takes. There really is no such thing as being original in music anymore, so what makes it original is that it's your vision, you really have to own whatever you create. You can't compare it to anything else.
I suck at this.
Not only am I a hopeless mimic, but any ideas I might have are quickly deemed useless by my inhabitions and I'm screwed. This is why I am convinced that I will be a much better artist when I am of legal drinking age and can get trashed when I try to create. The less I think the better.
Tonight I was over at the Rollies. Ellyn got home today (yay!). we spent our time curled up on the couch watching a cocktail of Dollhouse, News, and old home videos. Good stuffs. I think the ihghlights were seeing Carolyn spit up and, of course, the Boggie video form over the summer. If I could ask for any moment back...
I should go to sleep. Tomorrow the Rollies are picking me up to go shopping. Not that I have any money, I just like basking in their glorious presence(s?). I don't want to go to sleep. It seems pointless sometimes, I'll just get up again in the morning. Also, lately sleep has made me nervous, I keep on dreaming. I used to like dreaming, but these are the kind of dreams that are faint and slippery. The kind that leave your mind with an unsettling and unsavory after taste. A taste of masked fears and anxiety. Not exactly what I heard the Sandman aims for. But fun, fun, fun, and onward march!
I guess on that note I'll resign myself to my flannal sheets. After a few short notes.
CURRENT MUSICAL TASTES:
Death Cab For Cutie
Amanda Palmer
Eisley
Annie Lennox
Emilie Autumn
BOOKS I'M READING/ I HAVE READ RECENTLY:
Life of Pi
God of Small Things
The Red Tent
The Cosmic Mother
Le Morte D'Arthur
CURRENT TV SHOWS:
The L Word
Dollhouse
The Office
Robin Hood
NEW FOODS:
Hummus
Aloe Vera Juice
THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:
People coming home for berak
My scented candle (lemon and sage!)
My new jeans
Jojoba oil
Warm weather
Pigwidgeon.