A Tale of Two Tylers (5a/6)
Chapter Five: Prescription
With a furious Timelord and a livid Ex-Time Agent on her hands, Rose Tyler was in an intergalactically unique and universally troubling situation. The pair refused to speak to each other, Jaye was still possessed, and Rose was beginning to wonder if coming to Niagara Falls had been a good idea for anyone.
Desperate and fairly miserable, Rose led the two men to the only place she could think of-the nearest pub, and straight to the bar.
The Barrel's bartender smiled at the trio. "You're not regulars," he remarked.
"Not really, no," Rose answered tiredly. "We're just seeing the falls. They're lovely, by the way."
"I always thought so, too. Hey, are you Jaye's relatives?"
The Doctor looked up. "How'd you know?"
"She said she had British relatives in town, and your accents are pretty telling. It's nice to meet you; I'm Eric."
He received three blank stares.
"She didn't mention me?"
Rose smiled faintly at the boy without understanding; he looked disappointed. "Sorry, Eric."
"Oh. I guess it's not really important, anyway..."
"You're her boyfriend," Jack stated.
"Yeah. Did she mention a boyfriend?"
"No, but I've seen that expression before. Hell, I've made that expression before. But she probably would have brought you up if we'd given her half the chance-you're too cute not to mention."
"Um, thanks…what can I get you three? You're Jaye's guests; whatever you want is on the house."
The trio placed their orders and Jack sent him a dazzling (if slightly unnerving) smile.
"So, why visit now?" Eric asked.
"Ah, it seemed like a good idea," the Doctor responded. He sniffed and nodded at Jack. "Until he managed to hunt us down."
"Trust me, if I had known how excited you'd be, I wouldn't have made the effort."
"Guys, just…um, how are the drinks coming?" Rose whispered.
"Nearly done," he whispered back. He quickly served an imported Canadian microbrew, three vodka shots and a banana daiquiri. They drank in uncomfortable silence.
"So…is this a long visit or a short one?"
"Longer than expected," the Doctor answered.
"We thought we'd be able to help Jaye with some, um, family issues," Rose explained.
"Didn't go so well," Jack added.
"Sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?"
"Boy, do I wish there was, but I don't think so," Jack answered, bringing the silence back. The Doctor finished his daiquiri and Eric made him another. And another.
"You know," the Doctor said on his fourth daiquiri, "It's really a very ethical dilemma. Do we evict the aliens, and kill them, or keep them, which is a bad idea? And speaking of killing, can I kill Jack at any point? Prettyplease?"
"You can try," Jack snorted.
"Aliens?" Eric asked, more amused than anything else. It was hard to take the man too seriously when he was wrapping his tie around his forehead as he expounded on ethics and aliens. "Jaye has aliens?"
"And she can't keep them," he explained. "Completely illegal, could get them all arrested. Shadow Proclamation doesn't allow it. Not that they could tell, or anything, but…on principle. Aaaaand she would have to share. Jaye doesn't seem like a sharing person-no offense," he added to Eric. "She's very nice. Not a share-er. You're a share-er, Jack…but you're not so nice."
As Jack struggled to form a retort, Eric turned to Rose. "Shadow Proclamation…is that British slang for Canadian law?"
"Huh?"
"It's just, Jaye has harbored aliens a few times before. She isn't in danger, is she?"
"Huh?"
"There was this Russian woman, a mail-order bride, just for a few days, and her family's housekeeper was living off an expired visa…"
"Oh, no, not that kind of a…she had a mail order bride?"
"Long story," he said with a small smile.
"Okay. No, Jaye won't get in trouble for keeping the aliens, I don't think. It's just, well, like the Doctor said, they aren't making her happy. They've…um, overstayed their welcome."
"She can't send them back?"
"Definitely not."
"And they can't stay with someone else?"
"Not really."
"And they just keep talking to her, all the time. She wants silence. I don't want silence, except from him, but I've had plenty of silence, and it's verrrrry boring. But she needs a break. Who doesn't need a break? Oh…oh! That's not a bad-" The Doctor fell off his barstool.
"Lightweight," Jack snickered.
Eric stared at the line of empty daiquiri glasses. "Really?"
"It sounded like he had an idea, though," Rose said.
"Probably not a very good one," Jack said.
"Jack, look. You have to give the Doctor a chance."
Eric, observing a change in the conversation, moved away to chat with another customer.
"Oh yeah? He didn't give me much of one."
"You didn't give him time to adjust! He thought you were dead."
"Yeah, and he didn't seem too heartbroken about that."
"Jack…something happened back on Satellite Five. More than he's telling me, I think. I've asked; he just goes kind of silent. Maybe his anger isn't even about you."
"Huh."
"Either way, you two fighting doesn't solve our alien problem. Whatever the Doctor's solution was, at least it was a solution. So can you try to cooperate with him?"
"But…but he insulted Torchwood!"
"Please, Jack-for Jaye?"
"For Jaye's sake…fine. I'll compromise."
"Thanks." Rose got off her stool and gave him a hug.
"There was some serious UST in his glares, too," Jack added. He seemed a lot happier. "I'll have to ask him about that…Rose?"
"I'm fine. It's just, something you said struck a nerve. Cooperation...a break…compromise…Oh! Oh, that isn't a bad idea! That could work!"
Anxious to leave, she glanced at the Timelord on the floor. "I should go tell Jaye-Jack, can you get the Doctor back to the TARDIS? I know it might be a bit of a hassle, but I don't really think he weighs-"
"Trust me, after you've tried to drag Ernest Hemingway back to his room after he's finished for the night-not that he ever actually finished-you learn not to complain."
"Good, because I might need another favor. I need to borrow the Doctor's sonic screwdriver for a bit, and I'd really prefer he didn't wake up and find it gone. Think you can find some way to distract him until I get back?"
"I'm not complaining," he said with a smile.
* * *
"I don't think I like the sound of this," Jaye said. She had just woken up from a self-pity nap, and she was frustrated and tired and sick of trying to change her life when she was apparently doomed to take orders from the animals for the rest of her days.
Rose, on the other hand, had perked up considerably. "The Mineites are trying to help!" she enthused. "If we can just get them to listen, I think we can come to a deal that'll make things better for everyone."
"Yeah, they never really listen so much as give really cryptic orders. It's like their M.O."
"Jaye, they want a favor from The Doctor-maybe you can make them pay attention now."
"Hm…Well, if it doesn't work, I can go back to torture? Because I'm still holding out hope for that option."
Rose tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and wondered just who she was dealing with. "Er," she said, "we'll see."
* * *
Jack was waiting when the Doctor awoke back in the TARDIS. "Drink this," he said, holding out a mug full of frothy, pink liquid.
The Doctor groggily complied, but gagged the second the concoction hit his tongue. He stuck out the offended appendage in disgust. "Ugh, Jack, what did you putinthis? If you're trying to torture me…well, I'm actually impressed."
Jack laughed. "It's a remedy I picked up a ways back. You know, all of history, and the best recipe comes from Morocco in the 1730s."
"They didn't have refrigerators back then," the Doctor observed.
"Right…"
"Jack, how is this drink cold?"
"Try not to think about it," Jack said, and the Doctor attempted (unsuccessfully) to take another grudging sip. "Tastes foul, I know, but it'll cure your hangover right away."
"Jack?"
"Yeah."
"I'm a Timelord. Two hearts. My metabolism is a lot faster than yours-I don't get hangovers."
"Oh," Jack said. Then he cringed. "Yeah, I wouldn't drink the rest of that then."
The Doctor glared at the man sitting across from him.
"Oops?"
* * *
The scene was all too familiar to Jaye as she piled every animal in her trailer onto her bed. (It was the only surface in her trailer big enough to hold all of them.) The last time she had done this was on a mistip from the animals, and interrogating them had been part of a desperate attempt to get rid of Heidi before she murdered Eric in cold blood, which of course (unfortunately) hadn't been Heidi's intention at all.
Yeah, that had gone just great.
Rose waved the sonic screwdriver around much as she had before, and breathed a small sigh of relief. "There should still be enough residual energy left," she reported, and Jaye grinned.
On the other hand, the last time this had happened she hadn't had another Tyler around.
"Right" Jaye said, and took a step backwards.
"All right, freaky alien things," she addressed the animals.
"Jaye…" Rose began, but the girl waved Rose's caution away with a spare hand.
"…freaky demonic aliens, if that's what you are, the girl here says you can still talk to her. I want to see it. Or I want her to see it, whatever. Point is, we all need to have a little chat." She pulled a desk lamp out and pointed the spotlight on her bed. "Who wants to start?"
"What she means is, we'd like to talk to you about getting the message back to your people. We can help, but we have some conditions."
The little wax lion cocked his head doubtfully. "Hm," he said.
Jaye turned to Rose, and Rose nodded.
"Good. Now I've put up with all of you in my head for way too long. I've let you give me orders, willingly done your bidding-"
The wax lion snorted.
"Shut up. I've done your bidding, mostly, and it's about time you answered to mine."
The lion didn't answer.
"Answer!"
"Jaye…look, you need some sort of compromise."
Jaye turned to Rose. "Like what?"
"Like, we'll agree to take their message back, but only if they give you a break."
Jaye looked at the animals suspiciously. "But they can't get me to do their bidding if they leave. I don't think they'll just go if there's no one around to do their bidding. Could we get someone else to do their bidding?"
Rose waited.
"I have to do their bidding," Jaye groaned.
"I'm not sure they can possess someone else."
"Of course not, because I'm the one who 'listens.'"
"What?"
"That's what they-that's what you guys said, right? Because I listen? Not because, I don't know, you want me to follow your evil alien orders or anything."
"Well, they're not really evil-"
"Yeah? Because they come from outer space, they set up shop in my brain, and then use me for evil. How would you like to be possessed by aliens?"
"Jaye! I have been possessed; I know it's not fun. But the Mineites chose you, and now they can either exist in your brain or die, because they don't even have real bodies anymore. I'm sorry you have to deal with them, but they aren't evil, and they deserve to live!"
Jaye looked at the blonde girl. She swept some of the animal objects aside and, ignoring a few disgruntled animal sounds, sat on her bed.
"They're not evil?" she asked.
Rose smiled a little and sat down next to her. "They're actually trying to help, in their own way…Look, the Mineites can sense timelines we could never predict-when they give you orders, it's because they can see that things will end badly unless they act."
"And I can't kill them."
"No."
Jaye closed her eyes.
"But you can compromise."
Jaye nodded, slowly. "And what's my other option?"
PART B
With a furious Timelord and a livid Ex-Time Agent on her hands, Rose Tyler was in an intergalactically unique and universally troubling situation. The pair refused to speak to each other, Jaye was still possessed, and Rose was beginning to wonder if coming to Niagara Falls had been a good idea for anyone.
Desperate and fairly miserable, Rose led the two men to the only place she could think of-the nearest pub, and straight to the bar.
The Barrel's bartender smiled at the trio. "You're not regulars," he remarked.
"Not really, no," Rose answered tiredly. "We're just seeing the falls. They're lovely, by the way."
"I always thought so, too. Hey, are you Jaye's relatives?"
The Doctor looked up. "How'd you know?"
"She said she had British relatives in town, and your accents are pretty telling. It's nice to meet you; I'm Eric."
He received three blank stares.
"She didn't mention me?"
Rose smiled faintly at the boy without understanding; he looked disappointed. "Sorry, Eric."
"Oh. I guess it's not really important, anyway..."
"You're her boyfriend," Jack stated.
"Yeah. Did she mention a boyfriend?"
"No, but I've seen that expression before. Hell, I've made that expression before. But she probably would have brought you up if we'd given her half the chance-you're too cute not to mention."
"Um, thanks…what can I get you three? You're Jaye's guests; whatever you want is on the house."
The trio placed their orders and Jack sent him a dazzling (if slightly unnerving) smile.
"So, why visit now?" Eric asked.
"Ah, it seemed like a good idea," the Doctor responded. He sniffed and nodded at Jack. "Until he managed to hunt us down."
"Trust me, if I had known how excited you'd be, I wouldn't have made the effort."
"Guys, just…um, how are the drinks coming?" Rose whispered.
"Nearly done," he whispered back. He quickly served an imported Canadian microbrew, three vodka shots and a banana daiquiri. They drank in uncomfortable silence.
"So…is this a long visit or a short one?"
"Longer than expected," the Doctor answered.
"We thought we'd be able to help Jaye with some, um, family issues," Rose explained.
"Didn't go so well," Jack added.
"Sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?"
"Boy, do I wish there was, but I don't think so," Jack answered, bringing the silence back. The Doctor finished his daiquiri and Eric made him another. And another.
"You know," the Doctor said on his fourth daiquiri, "It's really a very ethical dilemma. Do we evict the aliens, and kill them, or keep them, which is a bad idea? And speaking of killing, can I kill Jack at any point? Prettyplease?"
"You can try," Jack snorted.
"Aliens?" Eric asked, more amused than anything else. It was hard to take the man too seriously when he was wrapping his tie around his forehead as he expounded on ethics and aliens. "Jaye has aliens?"
"And she can't keep them," he explained. "Completely illegal, could get them all arrested. Shadow Proclamation doesn't allow it. Not that they could tell, or anything, but…on principle. Aaaaand she would have to share. Jaye doesn't seem like a sharing person-no offense," he added to Eric. "She's very nice. Not a share-er. You're a share-er, Jack…but you're not so nice."
As Jack struggled to form a retort, Eric turned to Rose. "Shadow Proclamation…is that British slang for Canadian law?"
"Huh?"
"It's just, Jaye has harbored aliens a few times before. She isn't in danger, is she?"
"Huh?"
"There was this Russian woman, a mail-order bride, just for a few days, and her family's housekeeper was living off an expired visa…"
"Oh, no, not that kind of a…she had a mail order bride?"
"Long story," he said with a small smile.
"Okay. No, Jaye won't get in trouble for keeping the aliens, I don't think. It's just, well, like the Doctor said, they aren't making her happy. They've…um, overstayed their welcome."
"She can't send them back?"
"Definitely not."
"And they can't stay with someone else?"
"Not really."
"And they just keep talking to her, all the time. She wants silence. I don't want silence, except from him, but I've had plenty of silence, and it's verrrrry boring. But she needs a break. Who doesn't need a break? Oh…oh! That's not a bad-" The Doctor fell off his barstool.
"Lightweight," Jack snickered.
Eric stared at the line of empty daiquiri glasses. "Really?"
"It sounded like he had an idea, though," Rose said.
"Probably not a very good one," Jack said.
"Jack, look. You have to give the Doctor a chance."
Eric, observing a change in the conversation, moved away to chat with another customer.
"Oh yeah? He didn't give me much of one."
"You didn't give him time to adjust! He thought you were dead."
"Yeah, and he didn't seem too heartbroken about that."
"Jack…something happened back on Satellite Five. More than he's telling me, I think. I've asked; he just goes kind of silent. Maybe his anger isn't even about you."
"Huh."
"Either way, you two fighting doesn't solve our alien problem. Whatever the Doctor's solution was, at least it was a solution. So can you try to cooperate with him?"
"But…but he insulted Torchwood!"
"Please, Jack-for Jaye?"
"For Jaye's sake…fine. I'll compromise."
"Thanks." Rose got off her stool and gave him a hug.
"There was some serious UST in his glares, too," Jack added. He seemed a lot happier. "I'll have to ask him about that…Rose?"
"I'm fine. It's just, something you said struck a nerve. Cooperation...a break…compromise…Oh! Oh, that isn't a bad idea! That could work!"
Anxious to leave, she glanced at the Timelord on the floor. "I should go tell Jaye-Jack, can you get the Doctor back to the TARDIS? I know it might be a bit of a hassle, but I don't really think he weighs-"
"Trust me, after you've tried to drag Ernest Hemingway back to his room after he's finished for the night-not that he ever actually finished-you learn not to complain."
"Good, because I might need another favor. I need to borrow the Doctor's sonic screwdriver for a bit, and I'd really prefer he didn't wake up and find it gone. Think you can find some way to distract him until I get back?"
"I'm not complaining," he said with a smile.
* * *
"I don't think I like the sound of this," Jaye said. She had just woken up from a self-pity nap, and she was frustrated and tired and sick of trying to change her life when she was apparently doomed to take orders from the animals for the rest of her days.
Rose, on the other hand, had perked up considerably. "The Mineites are trying to help!" she enthused. "If we can just get them to listen, I think we can come to a deal that'll make things better for everyone."
"Yeah, they never really listen so much as give really cryptic orders. It's like their M.O."
"Jaye, they want a favor from The Doctor-maybe you can make them pay attention now."
"Hm…Well, if it doesn't work, I can go back to torture? Because I'm still holding out hope for that option."
Rose tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and wondered just who she was dealing with. "Er," she said, "we'll see."
* * *
Jack was waiting when the Doctor awoke back in the TARDIS. "Drink this," he said, holding out a mug full of frothy, pink liquid.
The Doctor groggily complied, but gagged the second the concoction hit his tongue. He stuck out the offended appendage in disgust. "Ugh, Jack, what did you putinthis? If you're trying to torture me…well, I'm actually impressed."
Jack laughed. "It's a remedy I picked up a ways back. You know, all of history, and the best recipe comes from Morocco in the 1730s."
"They didn't have refrigerators back then," the Doctor observed.
"Right…"
"Jack, how is this drink cold?"
"Try not to think about it," Jack said, and the Doctor attempted (unsuccessfully) to take another grudging sip. "Tastes foul, I know, but it'll cure your hangover right away."
"Jack?"
"Yeah."
"I'm a Timelord. Two hearts. My metabolism is a lot faster than yours-I don't get hangovers."
"Oh," Jack said. Then he cringed. "Yeah, I wouldn't drink the rest of that then."
The Doctor glared at the man sitting across from him.
"Oops?"
* * *
The scene was all too familiar to Jaye as she piled every animal in her trailer onto her bed. (It was the only surface in her trailer big enough to hold all of them.) The last time she had done this was on a mistip from the animals, and interrogating them had been part of a desperate attempt to get rid of Heidi before she murdered Eric in cold blood, which of course (unfortunately) hadn't been Heidi's intention at all.
Yeah, that had gone just great.
Rose waved the sonic screwdriver around much as she had before, and breathed a small sigh of relief. "There should still be enough residual energy left," she reported, and Jaye grinned.
On the other hand, the last time this had happened she hadn't had another Tyler around.
"Right" Jaye said, and took a step backwards.
"All right, freaky alien things," she addressed the animals.
"Jaye…" Rose began, but the girl waved Rose's caution away with a spare hand.
"…freaky demonic aliens, if that's what you are, the girl here says you can still talk to her. I want to see it. Or I want her to see it, whatever. Point is, we all need to have a little chat." She pulled a desk lamp out and pointed the spotlight on her bed. "Who wants to start?"
"What she means is, we'd like to talk to you about getting the message back to your people. We can help, but we have some conditions."
The little wax lion cocked his head doubtfully. "Hm," he said.
Jaye turned to Rose, and Rose nodded.
"Good. Now I've put up with all of you in my head for way too long. I've let you give me orders, willingly done your bidding-"
The wax lion snorted.
"Shut up. I've done your bidding, mostly, and it's about time you answered to mine."
The lion didn't answer.
"Answer!"
"Jaye…look, you need some sort of compromise."
Jaye turned to Rose. "Like what?"
"Like, we'll agree to take their message back, but only if they give you a break."
Jaye looked at the animals suspiciously. "But they can't get me to do their bidding if they leave. I don't think they'll just go if there's no one around to do their bidding. Could we get someone else to do their bidding?"
Rose waited.
"I have to do their bidding," Jaye groaned.
"I'm not sure they can possess someone else."
"Of course not, because I'm the one who 'listens.'"
"What?"
"That's what they-that's what you guys said, right? Because I listen? Not because, I don't know, you want me to follow your evil alien orders or anything."
"Well, they're not really evil-"
"Yeah? Because they come from outer space, they set up shop in my brain, and then use me for evil. How would you like to be possessed by aliens?"
"Jaye! I have been possessed; I know it's not fun. But the Mineites chose you, and now they can either exist in your brain or die, because they don't even have real bodies anymore. I'm sorry you have to deal with them, but they aren't evil, and they deserve to live!"
Jaye looked at the blonde girl. She swept some of the animal objects aside and, ignoring a few disgruntled animal sounds, sat on her bed.
"They're not evil?" she asked.
Rose smiled a little and sat down next to her. "They're actually trying to help, in their own way…Look, the Mineites can sense timelines we could never predict-when they give you orders, it's because they can see that things will end badly unless they act."
"And I can't kill them."
"No."
Jaye closed her eyes.
"But you can compromise."
Jaye nodded, slowly. "And what's my other option?"
PART B