(no subject)
stolen from politicsforum
A warning to my Yankee Friends.
Last night, Canada "legalized" same sex marriage. I use the quotes because it was already legal, but now the Federal Government has passed a law.
Since then, the social fabric of Canada has been torn apart. Every single person in Toronto, our largest city, is participating in a massive gay orgy. They've already ran out of batteries, chocolate (twice) and whipped cream (they sent the Blue Jays to Chicago to get more - you don't have to give them back). 101% of our marriages have broken down. We have been hit with no less then 15 Biblical plauges. I only thought there were 10 myself - but that one with chili cheese dogs is really nasty. And Richard Simmons - who knew?
Rabid moose are roaming the streets, trying to violate people with antlers. Maple Syrup is the lube of choice. Paul Martin and Stephen Harper, our Prime Minister and Opposition Leader, have revealed themselves to be leather fetishes. They're currently exercising their party whips with gleeful abandon.
Our stop lights don't work, our tv channels are off the air and the radio plays nothing but Cher. God Himself appeared over Ottawa - our capital - slapped His Holy Forehead and said "What the fuck, you hoosers?"
Jesus is content to merely run around in a Speedo, snapping people with a wet towel.
Bugger's got really good aim too . . .
Oh, shit. Gotta go. Looks like the local cops found a tribe of wandering First Nations people (Native Americans to you) and some construction workers and want to talk about a sing along and my secret desire to be a leather wearing biker.
Ta ta.
A warning to my Yankee Friends.
Last night, Canada "legalized" same sex marriage. I use the quotes because it was already legal, but now the Federal Government has passed a law.
Since then, the social fabric of Canada has been torn apart. Every single person in Toronto, our largest city, is participating in a massive gay orgy. They've already ran out of batteries, chocolate (twice) and whipped cream (they sent the Blue Jays to Chicago to get more - you don't have to give them back). 101% of our marriages have broken down. We have been hit with no less then 15 Biblical plauges. I only thought there were 10 myself - but that one with chili cheese dogs is really nasty. And Richard Simmons - who knew?
Rabid moose are roaming the streets, trying to violate people with antlers. Maple Syrup is the lube of choice. Paul Martin and Stephen Harper, our Prime Minister and Opposition Leader, have revealed themselves to be leather fetishes. They're currently exercising their party whips with gleeful abandon.
Our stop lights don't work, our tv channels are off the air and the radio plays nothing but Cher. God Himself appeared over Ottawa - our capital - slapped His Holy Forehead and said "What the fuck, you hoosers?"
Jesus is content to merely run around in a Speedo, snapping people with a wet towel.
Bugger's got really good aim too . . .
Oh, shit. Gotta go. Looks like the local cops found a tribe of wandering First Nations people (Native Americans to you) and some construction workers and want to talk about a sing along and my secret desire to be a leather wearing biker.
Ta ta.