Private SL: I am free and that is why I am lost

Aug 05, 2012 18:52

Loker was sitting at the kitchen counter, a six pack of what he knew to be Cal's favorite beer sitting untouched as he waited.  Emily had let him in, and they'd talked briefly -- that new song, small, meaningless things, until she'd left with a friend, left him there to wait for Cal.  Even she had seemed to notice that something was wrong, giving ( Read more... )

cal/eli, smut

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Comments 57

facs_lightman August 5 2012, 23:31:10 UTC
Cal knew Loker was downstairs. The house wasn't that big and he could hear him talking to Em. Cal finished up what he was doing and was quick about it, but he didn't make it down before Emily left. He'd known she was on her way out, and had already said goodbye and the same general be safe, don't text and drive lecture before she'd even gone downstairs. Cal came down into the kitchen barefoot and in jeans and a dark t-shirt, his usual work attire minus the jacket and shoes ( ... )

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radicalliars August 6 2012, 04:42:19 UTC
"It's just a rental," Loker said, and it came off defensive. It was a strange thing to be defensive about, an odder thing to lie about, especially to Cal. They weren't... close. And yet, that didn't change that Eli looked up to him, had... feelings for him. It was perhaps the reason that he'd ended up here, when he needed to talk, but didn't want to talk, and had no one he could talk to. Angry and guilty and ashamed and so many feelings that bled through at the edges no matter how he tried to hide it.

The suit was only for family occasions, the one he kept because as much as he wanted to write them off and never have anything to do with them, he still hadn't entirely managed it. His mother would guilt him into it, and he'd grit his teeth, show up, and make it clear that he wasn't one of them, that he didn't want to be there. So he read people, dragged out dirty secrets with a cant of his head, and that sharp tone he sometimes got when he caught people in a lie ( ... )

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facs_lightman August 6 2012, 04:52:19 UTC
Lying about the suit. Cal eyed it again, like it was obvious, because it was. And he was defensive about it, like the compliment wasn't welcome, like he didn't like the suit being liked. It wasn't obvious, unless of course you happened to also collect punches, but Loker seemed to be favoring one side, like he'd been punched. Wedding or a funeral. It's Saturday, could have been either ( ... )

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radicalliars August 6 2012, 05:25:09 UTC
There was a quirk to his lips as Cal said he looked like he could use it more. It was, after all, likely entirely true. He was riled, emotions a mess and he didn't even know where to start with all of this. He didn't really want to talk, but that didn't change the fact that there was this mess of feelings, churning and volatile and that not talking wasn't exactly a good option either ( ... )

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