And she said:
"I give myself very good advice.. that I very seldom follow!"
I'm not a very good person. I preach about love and conviction. And how determination can make wonders. Still I never really seem to take my own advice.
It's not a good realazation. And because of my lack in knowledge of time I later realize that a year has gone by with me following the same worn path and never gotten free of my invisible puppetstrings. But who is the puppeteer? Is it me that too holds the strings.
Am I a bad person?
The question seems elusive and unreachable. Because if someone asked me the question I would have shrugged it off with: "That's a very subjective question.. and even if I said I though so it doesn't mean you are.. not to everyone.."
But for me there is one goal, that I strive for more than other goals (?). To bring happiness. And in my blind persuit of this one never really tangible dream I never once stop to think about consequences and what/how I will manage this dream. How to reach it. Like I'm taking for granted that I'm the joy bringer. Maybe I'm working backwards. Stabbing people down as I go.
In a strange way I feel like Sasuke. I take my strength for granted and just wish for more. Not even realizing that the amount of what I already have is quite a handful that I don't even know how to handle now. Maybe I should live in the moment and treasure what I have, instead of looking on the path before me like it is already decided.
But since I'm lazy like Shikamaru and have a cronicle lateness like Kakashi I don't even know where to begin.
Look. I'm already passing the guilt on, avoding what should be done.
And all this because I'm a melancholy, overdramatic bitch. All lights on me? X_x
I'm not a very good person. I preach about love and conviction. And how determination can make wonders. Still I never really seem to take my own advice.
It's not a good realazation. And because of my lack in knowledge of time I later realize that a year has gone by with me following the same worn path and never gotten free of my invisible puppetstrings. But who is the puppeteer? Is it me that too holds the strings.
Am I a bad person?
The question seems elusive and unreachable. Because if someone asked me the question I would have shrugged it off with: "That's a very subjective question.. and even if I said I though so it doesn't mean you are.. not to everyone.."
But for me there is one goal, that I strive for more than other goals (?). To bring happiness. And in my blind persuit of this one never really tangible dream I never once stop to think about consequences and what/how I will manage this dream. How to reach it. Like I'm taking for granted that I'm the joy bringer. Maybe I'm working backwards. Stabbing people down as I go.
In a strange way I feel like Sasuke. I take my strength for granted and just wish for more. Not even realizing that the amount of what I already have is quite a handful that I don't even know how to handle now. Maybe I should live in the moment and treasure what I have, instead of looking on the path before me like it is already decided.
But since I'm lazy like Shikamaru and have a cronicle lateness like Kakashi I don't even know where to begin.
Look. I'm already passing the guilt on, avoding what should be done.
And all this because I'm a melancholy, overdramatic bitch. All lights on me? X_x