productive worrying
crunch time begins now. in no particular order, this is what i need to accomplish.
molbio/whatever-the-fuck-they-call-that-class: 81 on the final for a C, 95 for a C+. obviously won't be getting that attendance based boost. so it's a 2X3 credits or 2.5X3 credits. probably the former
drug delivery: 92 on final, don't fuck up any further labs. probably my only real A. 4X3 credits.
pharmacology: have no fucking clue how things are weighted in this class. i'm guess-timating that i'll need to break 92% on the final to scrape a C. hopehopehope-ing it will be 2X3 credits. **edit** heard from joe that the final will be 75 questions, so based on my calculations, i will need 63 of those, or 84%. a tiny bit more doable, although waking up in time to go to class would be helpful. i better benadryl myself at midnight and get back into a normal sleep pattern soon.
pharmaceutical chemistry:i could be perfect on the next exam and all those little quizzes (yeah right), and just barely round up to a B. most likely i'll be taking the final because i need a few 3 credit B's to balance out molbio and pcology. i'll need around a 90 on both the next exam and the final. and not fucking up the quizzes b/c i forgot to do the online ones until the last minute or not being fully conscious for the in class "pop" quizzes would be nice, for pride purposes. PLEASE be 3X3 credits.
concepts...: i have no clue what she wants from us in this class. i suppose attending would help, but the online "midterm" was a 95, so i'm assuming being present should do the trick. should be 4X1 credits.
industry: i have no clue how things are weighted here, but i got a B on the 1st exam and a C on the 2nd, so will definitely need a A on the final. i haven't shown up in a while, but i'm not sure how it will help. i don't think it will improve my participation factor by this point (the participation grade is based on me submitting 5 questions to the TA by a certain date as pertains to a certain lecture, i think). i guess i'll just show up for the lectures where the slides aren't overly detailed (we have guest lecturers every week). and remember to do my participation assignment. and try to be perfect on the final. hopefully 3.5X2 credits, although it may slip to 3X2.
pecon: i don't know what's weighted where, i don't know how i did on the last exam, i don't know what's on the next exam (monday), i haven't even talked to yi about the project yet, i haven't been to a class where suh was actually lecturing in about 2 months... this is not good. normally, any econ-related shit should be an easy A for me. so i'm guessing 4X3 credits or 3.5X3 credits.
somehow, this all needs to add up to 56, so that i can maintain a 3.0 and keep my scholarship and be definitively off probation.
finding some way to either pull a full-blown research paper out of my ass or take the freaking research elective from LAST SEMESTER off my transcript would also be nice.
all of this needs to happen soon. within the next 2-3 weeks, before finals madness really begins. i hoped to do some definitive work on the paper this week but i got lazy/social. i'm going to write to admin-types about my sitch, go to bed, wake up at 8, remember to take my meds, and revise the freaking data table before my parents get here for lunch. after lunch i'll try to find someone's pecon notes or revise the paper so it fits the data table, then take the night off. sunday i'll sleep in a tiny bit and in the afternoon/night i'll find someone's pecon notes and/or revise the paper, depending on how comfortable i feel w/ the material. a decent draft is going out sunday night. monday during molbio and pcology and the break, i'll mooch off people's notes and try to figure out how things are weighted. then i'll ace the exam and get another draft out on thursday night. i've got meetings/therapist appts sometime in there, but if i don't get another one out by thursday, i'm not letting myself go to halfway done.
halfway done weekend... i dunno. i've got work that sunday, so i should probably just allow myself to party afterwards and sleep in saturday morning, then get back to work on that freaking paper. i want that thing FINISHED a week before the 3rd pchem exam, so i can study for that and finals. if it's not finished by then, i'm taking that F. i don't care anymore. let's move forward people.
this would all be so much more DOABLE if that freaking research elective didn't exist. if i could get them to let me withdraw a semester later... i doubt they will, even given my precarious mental health. so i better stick to that schedule up there, or i'm so completely and totally fucked it's not even funny. this is so beyond my normal melodrama that i'm sort of... calm? i dunno. but not a productive calm. i need a productive calm. i also need to get those emails out so i can go to sleep. sorry to anyone who actually read this- you REALLY shouldn't have- this post is much too long. many many apologies.
molbio/whatever-the-fuck-they-call-that-class: 81 on the final for a C, 95 for a C+. obviously won't be getting that attendance based boost. so it's a 2X3 credits or 2.5X3 credits. probably the former
drug delivery: 92 on final, don't fuck up any further labs. probably my only real A. 4X3 credits.
pharmacology: have no fucking clue how things are weighted in this class. i'm guess-timating that i'll need to break 92% on the final to scrape a C. hopehopehope-ing it will be 2X3 credits. **edit** heard from joe that the final will be 75 questions, so based on my calculations, i will need 63 of those, or 84%. a tiny bit more doable, although waking up in time to go to class would be helpful. i better benadryl myself at midnight and get back into a normal sleep pattern soon.
pharmaceutical chemistry:i could be perfect on the next exam and all those little quizzes (yeah right), and just barely round up to a B. most likely i'll be taking the final because i need a few 3 credit B's to balance out molbio and pcology. i'll need around a 90 on both the next exam and the final. and not fucking up the quizzes b/c i forgot to do the online ones until the last minute or not being fully conscious for the in class "pop" quizzes would be nice, for pride purposes. PLEASE be 3X3 credits.
concepts...: i have no clue what she wants from us in this class. i suppose attending would help, but the online "midterm" was a 95, so i'm assuming being present should do the trick. should be 4X1 credits.
industry: i have no clue how things are weighted here, but i got a B on the 1st exam and a C on the 2nd, so will definitely need a A on the final. i haven't shown up in a while, but i'm not sure how it will help. i don't think it will improve my participation factor by this point (the participation grade is based on me submitting 5 questions to the TA by a certain date as pertains to a certain lecture, i think). i guess i'll just show up for the lectures where the slides aren't overly detailed (we have guest lecturers every week). and remember to do my participation assignment. and try to be perfect on the final. hopefully 3.5X2 credits, although it may slip to 3X2.
pecon: i don't know what's weighted where, i don't know how i did on the last exam, i don't know what's on the next exam (monday), i haven't even talked to yi about the project yet, i haven't been to a class where suh was actually lecturing in about 2 months... this is not good. normally, any econ-related shit should be an easy A for me. so i'm guessing 4X3 credits or 3.5X3 credits.
somehow, this all needs to add up to 56, so that i can maintain a 3.0 and keep my scholarship and be definitively off probation.
finding some way to either pull a full-blown research paper out of my ass or take the freaking research elective from LAST SEMESTER off my transcript would also be nice.
all of this needs to happen soon. within the next 2-3 weeks, before finals madness really begins. i hoped to do some definitive work on the paper this week but i got lazy/social. i'm going to write to admin-types about my sitch, go to bed, wake up at 8, remember to take my meds, and revise the freaking data table before my parents get here for lunch. after lunch i'll try to find someone's pecon notes or revise the paper so it fits the data table, then take the night off. sunday i'll sleep in a tiny bit and in the afternoon/night i'll find someone's pecon notes and/or revise the paper, depending on how comfortable i feel w/ the material. a decent draft is going out sunday night. monday during molbio and pcology and the break, i'll mooch off people's notes and try to figure out how things are weighted. then i'll ace the exam and get another draft out on thursday night. i've got meetings/therapist appts sometime in there, but if i don't get another one out by thursday, i'm not letting myself go to halfway done.
halfway done weekend... i dunno. i've got work that sunday, so i should probably just allow myself to party afterwards and sleep in saturday morning, then get back to work on that freaking paper. i want that thing FINISHED a week before the 3rd pchem exam, so i can study for that and finals. if it's not finished by then, i'm taking that F. i don't care anymore. let's move forward people.
this would all be so much more DOABLE if that freaking research elective didn't exist. if i could get them to let me withdraw a semester later... i doubt they will, even given my precarious mental health. so i better stick to that schedule up there, or i'm so completely and totally fucked it's not even funny. this is so beyond my normal melodrama that i'm sort of... calm? i dunno. but not a productive calm. i need a productive calm. i also need to get those emails out so i can go to sleep. sorry to anyone who actually read this- you REALLY shouldn't have- this post is much too long. many many apologies.