Back to somewhere
I've given up the new med management doctor I had because... well, he wasn't very nice and that's putting it politely. When he suggested that maybe I didn't really want to care for my son and that I needed to have more "faith" in medications to work then I just about snapped. On my birthday, he called and we discussed the lack of response I was having to the recent round of seroquel and he said he didn't know if there was anything left for me to treat my depression and perhaps we had reached the end of the line. Someone_kick_me in the freaking chest. Happy Birthday!
Under counsel of my therapist, I cancelled my appointments with him and went back to a previous doctor who I liked as well...
...and she put me back on lithium and asked me to trust her, very kind-heartedly. She said we need to give this a full-on-try and that I hadn't give it that. So, I have some options for moving it to morning if it causes insomnia again... but she thinks it's potential to help me is too great to have written it off so quickly.
I feel on the brink of deciding that I'm just DONE with mood management medications because the best results seem to be the ones that come from learning to cognitive "surf" the landscape and accept that there are some things I cannot change about my physiology.
Yeah, that's where that thought process falls off. I have no freaking clue where to go from here, but I do know that I've plugged back in to some of the "self-helping" strategies that I need for managing myself. I want to pursue these strategies (DBT, mindfulness, etc) and I'm not entirely sure in what venue (other than therapy) I will do that yet.
So, that's the story. Lithium. Trazodone. Those are my friends for now and we will see how they do. I want to have "faith" like mr. not-nice suggested... but I'm not sure I know how.
Under counsel of my therapist, I cancelled my appointments with him and went back to a previous doctor who I liked as well...
...and she put me back on lithium and asked me to trust her, very kind-heartedly. She said we need to give this a full-on-try and that I hadn't give it that. So, I have some options for moving it to morning if it causes insomnia again... but she thinks it's potential to help me is too great to have written it off so quickly.
I feel on the brink of deciding that I'm just DONE with mood management medications because the best results seem to be the ones that come from learning to cognitive "surf" the landscape and accept that there are some things I cannot change about my physiology.
Yeah, that's where that thought process falls off. I have no freaking clue where to go from here, but I do know that I've plugged back in to some of the "self-helping" strategies that I need for managing myself. I want to pursue these strategies (DBT, mindfulness, etc) and I'm not entirely sure in what venue (other than therapy) I will do that yet.
So, that's the story. Lithium. Trazodone. Those are my friends for now and we will see how they do. I want to have "faith" like mr. not-nice suggested... but I'm not sure I know how.