(no subject)
blah blah blah.
today everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong.
im tired of fucking doing drugs.
im tired of trying to make us better. i dont even know if we can get better after all this. i love him. i would die before leaving him, but after today its obvious that he has absolutly zero trust in me.
one day we're perfect, the next day we're pointless.
all i know is that we'll always have each other. through all the perfect days and all the seemingly pointless ones.
im so fucking happy that im fucking graduating this year. i couldnt fucking take middle college for a third year. all those new fucking freshmen are fucking stupid. plus, i hear through the grapevine that a bunch of fucking faggots from grimsley are fucking coming here next year. you guys fucking suck, and so does your god damn school.
college is going to blow ballsack.
does anyone else beside me think that its a bad idea to stay home for another two years and just go to community college? after that i would trasfer out. its probably the best choice because for my degree i have to go to grauate school, and community college would give me two years to save up alot of my money for that.
in the long run it will pay off. but right now all i want to do is move in with him and have a life together. waiting two more years will hurt alot worse, but it would most definitly pay off. plus, if i'm still with him in two years, through all the bullshit that is bound to come our way, then i can be absolutly positive that this is what i want. not that im not positive now, but we're still really young. the years ahead of us are the years that make people who they are.
today, even with the hurtfull accustions and mean remarks (on both our parts), i still love him more than i can even explain. i've felt that way since april 9th, 2005 and i know i'll feel that way tomorrow. and the day after. and the day after. but once you get past so many days after you can be so sure everything will be the same.
so, i will take us day by day.
i will take school day by day.
i will take drugs day by day.
and i will take myself day. by. day.
there are two people, besides my family, that i know i will always be able to call at 3 am really drunk. and as stupid as that sounds, thats how i know they love me.
go figure.
i am not afraid to give away my whole self to someone today, out of fear that tomorrow they wont want it anymore.
day by day.
today everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong.
im tired of fucking doing drugs.
im tired of trying to make us better. i dont even know if we can get better after all this. i love him. i would die before leaving him, but after today its obvious that he has absolutly zero trust in me.
one day we're perfect, the next day we're pointless.
all i know is that we'll always have each other. through all the perfect days and all the seemingly pointless ones.
im so fucking happy that im fucking graduating this year. i couldnt fucking take middle college for a third year. all those new fucking freshmen are fucking stupid. plus, i hear through the grapevine that a bunch of fucking faggots from grimsley are fucking coming here next year. you guys fucking suck, and so does your god damn school.
college is going to blow ballsack.
does anyone else beside me think that its a bad idea to stay home for another two years and just go to community college? after that i would trasfer out. its probably the best choice because for my degree i have to go to grauate school, and community college would give me two years to save up alot of my money for that.
in the long run it will pay off. but right now all i want to do is move in with him and have a life together. waiting two more years will hurt alot worse, but it would most definitly pay off. plus, if i'm still with him in two years, through all the bullshit that is bound to come our way, then i can be absolutly positive that this is what i want. not that im not positive now, but we're still really young. the years ahead of us are the years that make people who they are.
today, even with the hurtfull accustions and mean remarks (on both our parts), i still love him more than i can even explain. i've felt that way since april 9th, 2005 and i know i'll feel that way tomorrow. and the day after. and the day after. but once you get past so many days after you can be so sure everything will be the same.
so, i will take us day by day.
i will take school day by day.
i will take drugs day by day.
and i will take myself day. by. day.
there are two people, besides my family, that i know i will always be able to call at 3 am really drunk. and as stupid as that sounds, thats how i know they love me.
go figure.
i am not afraid to give away my whole self to someone today, out of fear that tomorrow they wont want it anymore.
day by day.