Day 24, Journal Entry
It's been a difficult day. In retrospect, I probably should have simply gone down to the labs, but after my conversation with Teyla, despite her gentle manner and all her reassurances, I am disgusted with myself. Three beds in as many days? I tried this once before, after Kveta left, and it lasted longer and solved nothing. Cari was special and I will never regret that, but Greg and Jeanne? At the time, I found it easier to fall into a bed I knew no strings would be attached to, but now, I realize I was not doing myself any favors. Teyla did much to help me realize it--I only hope the gossip that is now flying around this city about me does not include her. She deserves much better than for everyone to talk about things that never happened, spreading rumors.
Rodney and Carson found a device that can aid the healing process--it has been helping both Rodney and I, though it is hardly an instant cure...a day or two's worth, plus it is incredibly draining. I tire enough as it is, so I have not been able to use it as much as I might have liked. I suppose it is just as well--such a device has potential for abuse, especially from those who might want to fix everything or use its capabilities as an excuse to be reckless.
Not much else to say at this point, because I cannot think of anything worth noting that I have not covered in some form--work notes, etc. Miles remains...Miles, but I think we are developing quite the friendship. An odd one, to be sure, but I am enjoying our dinnertime meetings....