(no subject)
So lately I been feeling UGLY, i don't know why just very self conscious and I think it might be because I have become kind of BLAH on exercise I know I NEEED to but I have been stressed and I have been stressed because I have not been exercising it's like a flipping LOOP!!!!! ARGH and then I get really really really self conscious. Not that i have not always been self-conscious, growing up like one has would make anyone self-conscious i think I could be 100lb lighters and still feel fat I know I know and I am working on this. It's just that I always hear the stupid voices and remarks and mostly my father and his side of the family snod remarks. "Have you learned the push away" blah blah blah. Next don't even start talking about getting undressed in a lighted room I FEEL even more self-conscious and getting undressed in front of other people! I have gotten a little better. I am also stressed over this graduation thing and getting a job AND getting ready for Dental school of course also pleasing my father yes again I KNOW I KNOW It is my LIFE but ARGH...I am getting a little away from the yes dad crap but I just feel IF I don't make it into dental school I see my fathers face and it is not good LoL.. My brothers can do anything and yeah they get kicked out BUT still okay so they can't do anything LoL. My father wants me to come back home and take classes at MWU or GMU YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!! Can you imagine the control stuggle one would have, I love my dad to death but NO I will not move back into the house for more then 4 months LoL Unless it is after dental school and I am not married or if I am married .....ok no not even if I am married, unless it is the last resort...ok got to go for now I will finish later!!!! roomie needs a ride because of all the crime going on in radford!!!!