(no subject)
I hate feeling like this. I hate looking the mirror. I hate myself. I hate that I am jealous and that I envy almost every person on this planet. I hate that I can't accept that this is how I am going to look forever. I hate how like ALL of my friends are so fucking pretty. I hate that I wish I was something that I'm not. I never really cared about what I looked like until highschool. There are so many pretty people, that it makes me sick. I used to think that it didnt matter, and now it's like a huge part of my life. I hate pictures. I hate when people stare at me. I hate .. this.
If I could just have one wish, it wouldn't be to be beautiful or pretty or anything like that but I would wish tha guys would come and fucking 'talk' to me before they are like ew she's so ugly, I won't like her, I'm not going to talk to her. It's seriously gay, and it fucking kills me. Most of the guys that have ever liked me, didn't like me at first, they became my friend and went on from there. And I hate being gay like this. I hate this, but I feel like maybe if I write it and let it out that I'll feel better.
No matter how many people tell me I'm not ugly, I wouldn't mean a thing .. I just want to hear it from you, because then maybe, I'll believe it.
<3
If I could just have one wish, it wouldn't be to be beautiful or pretty or anything like that but I would wish tha guys would come and fucking 'talk' to me before they are like ew she's so ugly, I won't like her, I'm not going to talk to her. It's seriously gay, and it fucking kills me. Most of the guys that have ever liked me, didn't like me at first, they became my friend and went on from there. And I hate being gay like this. I hate this, but I feel like maybe if I write it and let it out that I'll feel better.
No matter how many people tell me I'm not ugly, I wouldn't mean a thing .. I just want to hear it from you, because then maybe, I'll believe it.
<3