SHBLAHHH--oh, oh something's funky.
what to dooooooooooooooo?
today was supposed to be my day of freedom. ap's over, i'm supposed to be free! but no! i need raves and recs and the deadline for satII registration has passed and i haven't studied for the sats which are, what, three days away? and so i'm going to be taking three sat IIs and an sat in october? is that possible? NO it's NOT possible! AHH.
i'm so frustrated and i feel like wallowing in self-pity or anger at the college process but that won't help and i want to go for a walk to DEPRESSURIZE but i have work and mr. greez doesn't like me anymore because i've missed 54985740 homeworks and oh why does it have to be this way? why do people let teenagers feel this way? why does stress exist? i hate that it's all my fault.
mira, i feel a little better. i guess. i'm just really upset about history and priya i don't know why i've been ignoring her but i feel really bad; i just don't have the time or energy to bridge the growing gap and i want to call and apologize and talk to her for hours but honestly i'm just not interested enough anymore. it's really horrible. really, really horrible. and i want to listen to emotional music and maybe cry a little bit but the tv's on and that would be breaking my record of 17 meses and very un-laura and also i have work and why do people have to have sex? it pisses me off.
i want to have a party, a big party in my backyard with a fire pit and lots of people so many that i can't count them and they should all be happy and then they should disappear except for maybe twelve close friends and we'll sit around the fire having a great time and making high school memories because i don't want to remember this negativity!
and i hate that i'm so self-centered. look at all this! let's go roll in some green, green grass. at least i still have a crush. he can climb in my window and we can go for a walk and everything will be fine again.
i had so many dreams last night. and when i woke up i could remember all of them. so very many dreams, at least five that i could remember.and not one was about the ap, but i was definitely worried, because this morning was the spazziest of my life. i zipped and unzipped my bag repeatedly, left without locking the door though i'd spent minutes beforehand thinking about my keys, forgot how to breathe, forgot pencils... so very spazzy.
[Ahemhem my skirt, i'd like to SHOUT OUT to marizzle for being such a great friend through all this. with the feel-good cd's and the inspiring cards... they've really helped. so thanks. maybe i'll get you a goldfish for saturday, because we all know that you SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE RECIPIENT OF A GOLDFISH. Higgityeah!]
green, green grass, where art thou???
today was supposed to be my day of freedom. ap's over, i'm supposed to be free! but no! i need raves and recs and the deadline for satII registration has passed and i haven't studied for the sats which are, what, three days away? and so i'm going to be taking three sat IIs and an sat in october? is that possible? NO it's NOT possible! AHH.
i'm so frustrated and i feel like wallowing in self-pity or anger at the college process but that won't help and i want to go for a walk to DEPRESSURIZE but i have work and mr. greez doesn't like me anymore because i've missed 54985740 homeworks and oh why does it have to be this way? why do people let teenagers feel this way? why does stress exist? i hate that it's all my fault.
mira, i feel a little better. i guess. i'm just really upset about history and priya i don't know why i've been ignoring her but i feel really bad; i just don't have the time or energy to bridge the growing gap and i want to call and apologize and talk to her for hours but honestly i'm just not interested enough anymore. it's really horrible. really, really horrible. and i want to listen to emotional music and maybe cry a little bit but the tv's on and that would be breaking my record of 17 meses and very un-laura and also i have work and why do people have to have sex? it pisses me off.
i want to have a party, a big party in my backyard with a fire pit and lots of people so many that i can't count them and they should all be happy and then they should disappear except for maybe twelve close friends and we'll sit around the fire having a great time and making high school memories because i don't want to remember this negativity!
and i hate that i'm so self-centered. look at all this! let's go roll in some green, green grass. at least i still have a crush. he can climb in my window and we can go for a walk and everything will be fine again.
i had so many dreams last night. and when i woke up i could remember all of them. so very many dreams, at least five that i could remember.and not one was about the ap, but i was definitely worried, because this morning was the spazziest of my life. i zipped and unzipped my bag repeatedly, left without locking the door though i'd spent minutes beforehand thinking about my keys, forgot how to breathe, forgot pencils... so very spazzy.
[Ahemhem my skirt, i'd like to SHOUT OUT to marizzle for being such a great friend through all this. with the feel-good cd's and the inspiring cards... they've really helped. so thanks. maybe i'll get you a goldfish for saturday, because we all know that you SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE RECIPIENT OF A GOLDFISH. Higgityeah!]
green, green grass, where art thou???