The First Woman
“Hey Adam?” She started timidly, unsure of where to begin.
“Yeah?”
“I haven’t been entirely honest with you about myself.”
“I knew it! You’re a lesbian, aren’t you?”
“What? No! You big jerk. I mean I haven’t been honest about who I am.”
“So, what? You’re actually a man and you’ve had extensive surgery and hormone treatment to turn yourself into a woman?”
“Wrong again.”
“Are you sure? Because it’s ok if you used to be a man. I’m not that picky.”
Lilly sighed and said, “Are you done? I’m trying to tell you something serious.”
“Sorry, sorry. I’m done. Go ahead.”
“Alright. Well for starters my real name isn’t Lilly. It’s…”
“Frank?… Sorry again. I couldn’t help myself. I’m really done this time. Promise. So you can stop glaring at my now.”
“As I was saying, my real name is Lilith.”
“Lilith doesn’t sound too much different from Lilly. So why the change?”
“Lilly was a more socially acceptable name when I was younger. The name Lilith had a very negative stigma attached to it. That time is in the past now, but the name Lilly seemed to fit me better so I kept it.”
“We’re like the same age, aren’t we? Where could you have grown up as a kid that people didn’t like the name Lilith? That doesn’t make any sense?”
“Well the first thing you need to understand is that we are nowhere near the same age. In fact, we are nowhere near the same generation.”
“So you’re like a fifty year old woman with a baby face and a you had a rough childhood?”
“Try five thousand years old and no childhood.”
Adam looked a her for a moment in silence, then started to laugh. “Oh man, Lilly. You really had me going there for a moment with all that ‘this is serious’ talk. I don’t know how you can keep such a straight face.”
“That’s because I am serious. For some reason that I have never been able to figure out I am for all intents and purposes… Immortal. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s the truth.”
Adam stopped laughing and tried to don a serious face, but he couldn’t help but keep a smile on his face. “Alright, alright. You’re five thousand years old and immortal. So you’re like a vampire or something?”
“No I’m not a vampire. You’ve seen me walk around in the daylight for goodness sake.”
“That’s doesn’t mean you’re not a vampire. That just means you don’t have he weaknesses that you vampires have led us to believe for all these years.”
“I’m not a vampire, Adam. Vampires don’t exist. And the five thousand years thing was really more of an estimate.”
“An estimate?”
“Well yeah. I didn’t really bother counting until well after calendars were invented. And by then it was kind of a moot point.”
“Fair enough. And you’re sure you’re not a vampire? Because it’s ok if you are. I’m not that picky.”
Half annoyed and half amused Lilly exclaimed, “I’m NOT a vampire!” Then she calmed herself down and said, “If you’d like to hear the story, then I’ll start from the beginning. What do you say?”
“Sure, why not? Start from when you were in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve.”
“Yes, that was the plan.”
Adam looked at her with a blank stare for a moment then said, “I was just joking, Lilly.”
“Yes. I know you were. But I wasn’t. This story starts in the Garden of Eden with me and Adam and Eve. Although, it was really only a garden in name because the entire world was still untouched by the hand of the modern man, and it wasn’t called by that name until much later.”
“Alright. I’ll bite. Tell me the story.”
“Yeah?”
“I haven’t been entirely honest with you about myself.”
“I knew it! You’re a lesbian, aren’t you?”
“What? No! You big jerk. I mean I haven’t been honest about who I am.”
“So, what? You’re actually a man and you’ve had extensive surgery and hormone treatment to turn yourself into a woman?”
“Wrong again.”
“Are you sure? Because it’s ok if you used to be a man. I’m not that picky.”
Lilly sighed and said, “Are you done? I’m trying to tell you something serious.”
“Sorry, sorry. I’m done. Go ahead.”
“Alright. Well for starters my real name isn’t Lilly. It’s…”
“Frank?… Sorry again. I couldn’t help myself. I’m really done this time. Promise. So you can stop glaring at my now.”
“As I was saying, my real name is Lilith.”
“Lilith doesn’t sound too much different from Lilly. So why the change?”
“Lilly was a more socially acceptable name when I was younger. The name Lilith had a very negative stigma attached to it. That time is in the past now, but the name Lilly seemed to fit me better so I kept it.”
“We’re like the same age, aren’t we? Where could you have grown up as a kid that people didn’t like the name Lilith? That doesn’t make any sense?”
“Well the first thing you need to understand is that we are nowhere near the same age. In fact, we are nowhere near the same generation.”
“So you’re like a fifty year old woman with a baby face and a you had a rough childhood?”
“Try five thousand years old and no childhood.”
Adam looked a her for a moment in silence, then started to laugh. “Oh man, Lilly. You really had me going there for a moment with all that ‘this is serious’ talk. I don’t know how you can keep such a straight face.”
“That’s because I am serious. For some reason that I have never been able to figure out I am for all intents and purposes… Immortal. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s the truth.”
Adam stopped laughing and tried to don a serious face, but he couldn’t help but keep a smile on his face. “Alright, alright. You’re five thousand years old and immortal. So you’re like a vampire or something?”
“No I’m not a vampire. You’ve seen me walk around in the daylight for goodness sake.”
“That’s doesn’t mean you’re not a vampire. That just means you don’t have he weaknesses that you vampires have led us to believe for all these years.”
“I’m not a vampire, Adam. Vampires don’t exist. And the five thousand years thing was really more of an estimate.”
“An estimate?”
“Well yeah. I didn’t really bother counting until well after calendars were invented. And by then it was kind of a moot point.”
“Fair enough. And you’re sure you’re not a vampire? Because it’s ok if you are. I’m not that picky.”
Half annoyed and half amused Lilly exclaimed, “I’m NOT a vampire!” Then she calmed herself down and said, “If you’d like to hear the story, then I’ll start from the beginning. What do you say?”
“Sure, why not? Start from when you were in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve.”
“Yes, that was the plan.”
Adam looked at her with a blank stare for a moment then said, “I was just joking, Lilly.”
“Yes. I know you were. But I wasn’t. This story starts in the Garden of Eden with me and Adam and Eve. Although, it was really only a garden in name because the entire world was still untouched by the hand of the modern man, and it wasn’t called by that name until much later.”
“Alright. I’ll bite. Tell me the story.”