(no subject)
When I am 'single' my mind seems balanced, and I can enjoy memories of lovers who passed through and I feel content with my relationships ending there...as just memories. But when I begin to get some what emotionally interested with someone all senses heighten and tend to always run at a state of emergency. Which then usually causes them to end, terribly.I mean I do long for a 'one true love', the special person whom is supposed to understand you completely, and love you unconditionally. I guess thats what I want. Obviously I don't really know at all.
Well I met this girl. We spent a few days at her house together, and it's been almost a week since I have seen her. We've been talking on the phone and what not, but that just seems so, oh what is the word I am looking for...lame. Her and I have messed around, and been all lovey towards one another.Cuddling, kissing for hours, gazing into one an others eyes, and talking in the language of googly eyed lovers. I enjoyed every minute of those days with her. But I kept my heart at a distance and took every kiss in stride.I voiced my ideas on this possible relationship and it all seemed to make sense, and seemed real calm. But I am feeling a lot of anxiety and impatience. Why I am impatient or anxious I am not exactly sure. I don't know. My mind is nuts, and I miss Amy terribly right now. I wish she was straddling me and that I could grab her face every so gently and kiss her... I just can't keep still. God I suck at this, damnit!
Well I met this girl. We spent a few days at her house together, and it's been almost a week since I have seen her. We've been talking on the phone and what not, but that just seems so, oh what is the word I am looking for...lame. Her and I have messed around, and been all lovey towards one another.Cuddling, kissing for hours, gazing into one an others eyes, and talking in the language of googly eyed lovers. I enjoyed every minute of those days with her. But I kept my heart at a distance and took every kiss in stride.I voiced my ideas on this possible relationship and it all seemed to make sense, and seemed real calm. But I am feeling a lot of anxiety and impatience. Why I am impatient or anxious I am not exactly sure. I don't know. My mind is nuts, and I miss Amy terribly right now. I wish she was straddling me and that I could grab her face every so gently and kiss her... I just can't keep still. God I suck at this, damnit!