(no subject)
ya no yesterday i was talking to tim about things in my life and what really goes on and he is right there is alot of drama in my life that i just don't need.. why do i put up with it i just don't no.. why do i let everything bother me? i think it is cause i'm a girl and i open my heart to everyone.. i'm like the nicest and sweetest person that you will meet and i'm like that with everyone and then i chill with them all the time and get use to them and i can't do that..
tim for example: i chill wit him almost everyday until he is with Nikki (some chick) and when i'm chillen wit him i chill wit finella and other ppl.. so i'm use to being around him all the time.. and he is leaving for FL end of June.. Well for a month he is gunna stay wit my friends and then wit me for a week and then i'm going to FL wit him for a week or so and i'm use to being around him and a consider him a really good friend and i can't do that cause he is leaving soon and how knows if i`ll see him again...
Cody is another example: i opened my heart to him and tell him everything and he is always there for me.. well i went to far for a bit and now i'm really hurting myself cause of things i don't wanna talk about.. which this really sucks that things can't be perfect wit me and him. i mean we are still best friends and i care about him soo much but who knows what will happen when school is out
Finella is one too: i chill with her all the time and my other friend doesn't get along with her and that sucks.. i want to hang out with both of them at the same time but i just can't cause they don't get along... i tell her alot of things that i tell only my close friends but she is helping me through one of my biggest problems and being a great friend
Nicole: we just don't chill as much anymore and we need to start..
Kevin : i don't even no what to say about him.. i opened everything i had to him and tryed to be a good g/f but i wasn't.. and also alot of other things happened tooo... who knows anymore
when school gets out i'm going to be the most upset person ever.. i no that i'm going to be.. cause were graduating and who knows what is going to come from there.. i mean i may never see my friends again and that is really upsetting me.. and that is why i can't open my heart up wit all my friends.. i need to just stay friends cause that is always the best thing.. well anyway, me and tim talked about how things are in my life and how all my friends kinda cause me all this unwanted stress and he is trying to help me through things... which is really nice of him but i need someone like him up here at the same time.... HELP me..
x0x0 - heather
ps. ppl need to stop there shit wit my journal.. it is sooo childish...