Oh payday!
Today was payday. Perhaps if I had a real job, payday would be the happiest day(s) of my month, but alas, as a graduate student, pay day just means that I can finally cover my rent, buy food, pay bills, and perhaps if I'm extra lucky, maybe treat myself to a beer. Thats right, a beer. Living below the poverty line is quite the experience - there is absolutely no money to spare, and most of the time, not enough to cover my expenses. The sad thing is that my fellowship is much more generous than the assistantships most of my fellow grad students are on. I don't quite understand why graduate students live off so little. Its a thankless job most of the time - the stress is ever-lasting, free time is only something we can dream about, much of the time we are feeling so down about ourselves. And yet, we continue. The question is why? Why do we do this to ourselves?
As I sit here, I am thinking about the 700+ pages I must read this weekend, the Polish exam I must study for, the three papers I must write - that's just for this week. Forget the three research papers I need to be working on for later in the semester. And yet, I love it. The sense of accomplishment I have after I've finished yet another book on my list, after I've turned in yet another paper, and after I've learned how to say just a few more things in Polish keeps me going. Sure, I have my bad days (and this week was full of them), but overall, I do love learning. That is why I'm doing this and that is what I keep telling myself when I wake up in a panic at 4 am, thinking about the work I have to do before I can leave for my 9:35 class.
So tomorrow I will finally be able to go to the grocery store and stock up on the bare necessities - this will have to do until my parents visit sometime next month. At least its good for the waistline!
This, in a nutshell, is my life these days: http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php?n=879
As I sit here, I am thinking about the 700+ pages I must read this weekend, the Polish exam I must study for, the three papers I must write - that's just for this week. Forget the three research papers I need to be working on for later in the semester. And yet, I love it. The sense of accomplishment I have after I've finished yet another book on my list, after I've turned in yet another paper, and after I've learned how to say just a few more things in Polish keeps me going. Sure, I have my bad days (and this week was full of them), but overall, I do love learning. That is why I'm doing this and that is what I keep telling myself when I wake up in a panic at 4 am, thinking about the work I have to do before I can leave for my 9:35 class.
So tomorrow I will finally be able to go to the grocery store and stock up on the bare necessities - this will have to do until my parents visit sometime next month. At least its good for the waistline!
This, in a nutshell, is my life these days: http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php?n=879