insomniatic thoughts
I see what happens when you don't talk about your feelings during daylight hours. Problems transform into insomnia and now I am wide awake in the wee hours of the morning. I talked to the best friend for a bit, which was refreshing as we have been kinda distant the past couple of weeks. It figures that she would have insomnia too - 2 peas in a pod. I want to hibernate from Christmas this year. I am so sick of consumerism, of this need to show your love through expenditure of money. I have no money. I am flat broke and I sure as hell don't want other people trying to buy me presents. Just tell me you love me; that is all I need, thanks John.
Why is it so hard to be real with someone you care about? Why is it practically impossible to actually believe that someone really may care about you that much? His past relationship haunts me and I feel as though it will never change. I don't know how to move past it and accept. Sometimes I think I have and then, when confronted head on, my control slips away and I am left with nothing but my insecurities. I know he cares about me so much but I have trouble believing that I could be his first choice. I will always be second string to her and I don't know how to move past it. Somehow, I doubt being drunk off wine at 3:46 in the morning is going to solve anything; but it sure helps make me forget. Cheers.
Why is it so hard to be real with someone you care about? Why is it practically impossible to actually believe that someone really may care about you that much? His past relationship haunts me and I feel as though it will never change. I don't know how to move past it and accept. Sometimes I think I have and then, when confronted head on, my control slips away and I am left with nothing but my insecurities. I know he cares about me so much but I have trouble believing that I could be his first choice. I will always be second string to her and I don't know how to move past it. Somehow, I doubt being drunk off wine at 3:46 in the morning is going to solve anything; but it sure helps make me forget. Cheers.