(no subject)
In all the time I've spent in Jerusalem, I've never been here for Tisha B'av. Unlike a lot of students in my class, this day isn't anything new to me. I used to observe while growing up at camp (when fasting was in some ways just a way to stand out from the crowd). At Kutz, I worked with the other Meitav fellows to put together a whole program on Tisha B'av, which involved a lot of learning on out part. Still, being here is a whole new ball game, and brings to the front of my mind a lot of questions that it is easy to push aside in the States.
After services, a lot of us went with Gingy to the Old City. It was super crowded and as we made our way to the Kotel via King David's tomb and a few other stops, I felt hot and gross. The kotel was, as it tends to be, a disappointment. The women's side, which seems even smaller than I remember it, was incredibly crowded. A steady stream of women filed in as others tried to back there way out without taking their eyes from the Kotel. There were too many women for me to get even close to the wall, and I was bumped around so much that I couldn't focus on any prayer. As always, I was left cold by the individuality of the experience. So many women, so faithful, and all of us ignoring each other in an attempt to get closer to G-d. It is moving to see people of such faith, but it pains me to see their prayer silenced. I'm looking forward to Rosh Chodesh so I can daven with Women of the Wall again.
On our walk home, Marc and I talked a lot about what Tisha B'av means now that we live again in the state of Israel with full access to the city of Jerusalem. How do we understand exile today? Should we stop observing Tisha B'av? Should we observe only as a symbol of historical Jewish continuity? Or are we in fact still in exile? Today in our text study, our teacher, Moshe, told us about a left-wing religious group that goes to Har Herzl every Tisha B'av to read Eicha at Yitzchak Rabin's grave. They understand his assassination as a symbol of our continued exile -- that hatred within the Jewish people still exists. Moshe also told us that he only began to fast on Tzom Gedaliah after Rabin was assassinated. Suddenly, the story had modern meaning and it was apparent the power one person can have in determining the future of the Jewish people, for good or for bad. After learning about this fast day (it was one that no one who observed was ever really capable of explaining to me before), I'm thinking seriously about taking on its observance, almost as a mediation on the importance and responsibility of leadership and the power of individuals to influence history.
The rest of today has been kind of slow. I was hurting a little bit after Mincha, and came home and slept a lot. I've caught up on flashcards again for Hebrew, which is continuing to challenge me (though not more than most of the other students in the class, which is good). Students are getting together tonight to break the fast, but Marc and I are passing on that action. Partly, its because I can't imagine breaking the fast on a meat meal, partly its because I don't know how successfully I'd be able to walk any great length before eating. I do hope that soon we'll make more of an effort to become more social. I feel like we don't spend time with anyone outside of campus, which isn't so great.
Ok...almost time for food. I am SO ready. I hope everyone who is observing this day has found it meaningful.
After services, a lot of us went with Gingy to the Old City. It was super crowded and as we made our way to the Kotel via King David's tomb and a few other stops, I felt hot and gross. The kotel was, as it tends to be, a disappointment. The women's side, which seems even smaller than I remember it, was incredibly crowded. A steady stream of women filed in as others tried to back there way out without taking their eyes from the Kotel. There were too many women for me to get even close to the wall, and I was bumped around so much that I couldn't focus on any prayer. As always, I was left cold by the individuality of the experience. So many women, so faithful, and all of us ignoring each other in an attempt to get closer to G-d. It is moving to see people of such faith, but it pains me to see their prayer silenced. I'm looking forward to Rosh Chodesh so I can daven with Women of the Wall again.
On our walk home, Marc and I talked a lot about what Tisha B'av means now that we live again in the state of Israel with full access to the city of Jerusalem. How do we understand exile today? Should we stop observing Tisha B'av? Should we observe only as a symbol of historical Jewish continuity? Or are we in fact still in exile? Today in our text study, our teacher, Moshe, told us about a left-wing religious group that goes to Har Herzl every Tisha B'av to read Eicha at Yitzchak Rabin's grave. They understand his assassination as a symbol of our continued exile -- that hatred within the Jewish people still exists. Moshe also told us that he only began to fast on Tzom Gedaliah after Rabin was assassinated. Suddenly, the story had modern meaning and it was apparent the power one person can have in determining the future of the Jewish people, for good or for bad. After learning about this fast day (it was one that no one who observed was ever really capable of explaining to me before), I'm thinking seriously about taking on its observance, almost as a mediation on the importance and responsibility of leadership and the power of individuals to influence history.
The rest of today has been kind of slow. I was hurting a little bit after Mincha, and came home and slept a lot. I've caught up on flashcards again for Hebrew, which is continuing to challenge me (though not more than most of the other students in the class, which is good). Students are getting together tonight to break the fast, but Marc and I are passing on that action. Partly, its because I can't imagine breaking the fast on a meat meal, partly its because I don't know how successfully I'd be able to walk any great length before eating. I do hope that soon we'll make more of an effort to become more social. I feel like we don't spend time with anyone outside of campus, which isn't so great.
Ok...almost time for food. I am SO ready. I hope everyone who is observing this day has found it meaningful.