oh, also
also. i am proud of my kicking ass work-wise today. even though i should be in bed right now. i have to unwind a bit, though.
also i have a sinus infection, but started my antibiotics today.
so all of this, and a sinus infection too? while i may not be WELL, i am sure as hell a lot better than i was six months ago. my therapist keeps trying to tell me that even if i end up spending a day or two per week in bed ALL DAY, that is preferable to when it was pretty much EVERY day.
i am really fighting so hard. i feel like i am, inside. i don't know if it shows on the outside at all. i know there are people who don't understand at all, and just think i'm being lazy or this has gone on long enough or whatever, but i think i'm getting more comfortable with thinking "they are wrong, and they just don't know what this is like, in my body, in my head"
it's little steps. i keep telling myself. sometimes i believe it. and i try really hard not to worry about the money stuff (which i admit is REALLY difficult), but just tell myself it will come. it will be okay. and one day i will not have to be so desperate-feeling about money. and on those days i will resubscribe to netflix (oh how i miss thee) and i'll get TIVO. HAH! what lofty goals. ;)
OH OH. ONE OTHER GOOD THING TO MENTION.
i doubt any/many of you all will be in the redding area on march 11, but if so, let me know. vektor is throwing me a birthday gala! she is also treating me to a hot stone massage (which i have dreamed of!!!!!!!) at my very favorite spa (www.thespadowntown.com) on my birthday party day! i'll be 31. unbelievable.
also i have a sinus infection, but started my antibiotics today.
so all of this, and a sinus infection too? while i may not be WELL, i am sure as hell a lot better than i was six months ago. my therapist keeps trying to tell me that even if i end up spending a day or two per week in bed ALL DAY, that is preferable to when it was pretty much EVERY day.
i am really fighting so hard. i feel like i am, inside. i don't know if it shows on the outside at all. i know there are people who don't understand at all, and just think i'm being lazy or this has gone on long enough or whatever, but i think i'm getting more comfortable with thinking "they are wrong, and they just don't know what this is like, in my body, in my head"
it's little steps. i keep telling myself. sometimes i believe it. and i try really hard not to worry about the money stuff (which i admit is REALLY difficult), but just tell myself it will come. it will be okay. and one day i will not have to be so desperate-feeling about money. and on those days i will resubscribe to netflix (oh how i miss thee) and i'll get TIVO. HAH! what lofty goals. ;)
OH OH. ONE OTHER GOOD THING TO MENTION.
i doubt any/many of you all will be in the redding area on march 11, but if so, let me know. vektor is throwing me a birthday gala! she is also treating me to a hot stone massage (which i have dreamed of!!!!!!!) at my very favorite spa (www.thespadowntown.com) on my birthday party day! i'll be 31. unbelievable.