sometimes i think "yeah, i need to be more positive, and work on my attitude...maybe thinking more positively will help make positive changes
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FWIW, my mom and dad are friends with a couple where the dude-half is going through similar shitty brain cancer stuff. They told him he had like, a week to live and would be a drooling fool, and that was 6 months ago, now he's walking and talking. So, it's not like there is NO hope, but there's no point in being eggshell-walkery when someone may be dying. I think if you want to see him and/or call, do. A card is NOT pointless, cards really do make people feel like they have a support system, and if you want to send something more, here are some helpful things that are not so funereal:
A living flowering plant. I'm a believer in surrounding ill people with healthy living things, not dead flowers. FTD has a potted African Violet for like $35 that i send to wakes and hospitals all the time, because violets are pretty, tough and resilient, and cheerful.
Food. Healthy people need to stay healthy to support an ill loved one, and lots of times they are running around like headless chickens trying to take care of the sick person and forget to eat or eat shitty food because they have no time to cook. If there is a grocer with a hot bar or a restaurant that does delivery in their neighborhood that they like, send them dinner one night. I am reminded of the time where my life was UTTER and complete SHIT, and cavalorn called a fucking chinese place on the corner of my block all the way from england to send me some food so i would just have something to eat. I will never ever forget that.
I know you are low on the dough so don't blow cash you don't have, but it's a couple of ideas.
And, really, the goal of finding something good every day is a noble one, but some days the bad really does outweigh it. If the only good thing about the day is "I have some sympathy and empathy and want to help people who are going through hard times," that is really a truly wonderful thing in and of itself, however bittersweet.
FWIW, my mom and dad are friends with a couple where the dude-half is going through similar shitty brain cancer stuff. They told him he had like, a week to live and would be a drooling fool, and that was 6 months ago, now he's walking and talking. So, it's not like there is NO hope, but there's no point in being eggshell-walkery when someone may be dying. I think if you want to see him and/or call, do. A card is NOT pointless, cards really do make people feel like they have a support system, and if you want to send something more, here are some helpful things that are not so funereal:
A living flowering plant. I'm a believer in surrounding ill people with healthy living things, not dead flowers. FTD has a potted African Violet for like $35 that i send to wakes and hospitals all the time, because violets are pretty, tough and resilient, and cheerful.
Food. Healthy people need to stay healthy to support an ill loved one, and lots of times they are running around like headless chickens trying to take care of the sick person and forget to eat or eat shitty food because they have no time to cook. If there is a grocer with a hot bar or a restaurant that does delivery in their neighborhood that they like, send them dinner one night. I am reminded of the time where my life was UTTER and complete SHIT, and cavalorn called a fucking chinese place on the corner of my block all the way from england to send me some food so i would just have something to eat. I will never ever forget that.
I know you are low on the dough so don't blow cash you don't have, but it's a couple of ideas.
And, really, the goal of finding something good every day is a noble one, but some days the bad really does outweigh it. If the only good thing about the day is "I have some sympathy and empathy and want to help people who are going through hard times," that is really a truly wonderful thing in and of itself, however bittersweet.
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