no real subject.

[rachie]

i wish sometimes that i had a better gift with words. i have so much to say, but no way to say it right.
not that it'd matter, because the most important ones would fall on deaf ears.
saturday was the end of an era for me. i can close a major chapter. it didn't end the way i wanted it to, but not everything does or will in this life.
i will say this though, and be done with it.
i am sorry for the way everything happened. you may not believe me, or care, but it's the truth.
i don't know what else to say about it.
but, everything in this life happens for a reason. apparently you were only meant to be with me as a friend for a short time, until i could move into the circle i have now, with more permanent, lasting friends.
there's so much more, but i'm really finding livejournal to be a painful place lately. the last time i read my friends page, zach and jessica spent a good half hour trying to calm me down. i just broke. but all wounds heal with time, no matter how deep they seem to be.
so i'll heal. and so will you. i'll always carry a piece of you with me, you can or you don't have to. i'll understand either way.
but it's over and done with. my chest is aching with the heartache, but i have things to comfort me. i can only hope that you can find comfort.
and for those who have hurt me, i can honestly say that i forgive you. you couldn't help yourself. i don't hold it against you, you simply don't know any better. honestly, i pity you.
that's really all i can say.
i'll have something more cheerful to say another time. for now, i'm going to bed.