You don't understand...
I hope hes going to look at my senior pictures, my dance pictures & the family pictures and realize how much of my life he's missed... and how much I've changed, and I'm sure he would had loved to be there for it, but you made the wrong decision, you left the family behind years ago... left the ones that cared for you so much and the ones who looked up to you, you left us all behind and you never looked back to even say sorry. Isn't family always suppost to be there?
I'm crying so hard so if there are a lot of mis-spellings, I'm sorry.
No one understands.... family can just tare you apart... :'( Him and my brother Kurt were so close, they'd ALWAYS be together, always making their little trips to our cabin for the weekend... and all of a sudden, he left my brothers life too, left my brother behind confused and didn't know if he could trust anyone, if he could ever become close to FAMILY again... you should never have to feel like you can't become close to your family because you are afraid that one day, they will just leave you in the dust... One day they just can't talk to you and the next day they move away to a place thats 4 states away... And knowing that we will never see him again unless its something tragic... like a death and thats not how I want to see him.
I remember walking into Target by my house and I saw him and I said hi, he looked at me and didn't say anything to me because he abandoned the family... You don't ignore family like that. That was the lowest I've ever felt. I hope no one has to feel that low to where your family can look at you and blow you off. I hadn't seen him in like 2 months, and i saw him at Target and he couldn't even say "Hi Rachel" and he couldn't even have a conversation with me... He was the adult, I was the kid, but he sure didn't act like the adult. A true adult would had said hello to their family, and they also wouldn't had left their family i guess....
I have unresolved problems with this and it's still killing me inside... my dream was horrible when he 1st moved away when I woke up crying... I wish he'd come back into the family, I hope I don't go the rest of my life never seeing him again.
I just read the note my brother left before he ran away 5 years ago, that is the sadest thing ever. If anyone ever feels like they need to cry, but just can't, come read this... It's the most depressing thing ever, and on top of this whole family issue, I'm pretty upset right now...
I had to get this all out... I'm sorry, but It's killing me inside
Thank you so much ben, I love you and thank you for always listening to me, you mean the world to me. I was afraid to talk to you about this because I thought you would think it was stupid that I was upset, but I looked up to him so much. And the nightmare, it was so graphic. I've never woke up balling my eyes out & sweating because of a nightmare...
And thank you Julie for caring, I luv yah hun
And to everyone else, If you don't know my family, Don't judge it on this entry. My family is amazing and I love them. Its just there was a lot on my mind...
I'm crying so hard so if there are a lot of mis-spellings, I'm sorry.
No one understands.... family can just tare you apart... :'( Him and my brother Kurt were so close, they'd ALWAYS be together, always making their little trips to our cabin for the weekend... and all of a sudden, he left my brothers life too, left my brother behind confused and didn't know if he could trust anyone, if he could ever become close to FAMILY again... you should never have to feel like you can't become close to your family because you are afraid that one day, they will just leave you in the dust... One day they just can't talk to you and the next day they move away to a place thats 4 states away... And knowing that we will never see him again unless its something tragic... like a death and thats not how I want to see him.
I remember walking into Target by my house and I saw him and I said hi, he looked at me and didn't say anything to me because he abandoned the family... You don't ignore family like that. That was the lowest I've ever felt. I hope no one has to feel that low to where your family can look at you and blow you off. I hadn't seen him in like 2 months, and i saw him at Target and he couldn't even say "Hi Rachel" and he couldn't even have a conversation with me... He was the adult, I was the kid, but he sure didn't act like the adult. A true adult would had said hello to their family, and they also wouldn't had left their family i guess....
I have unresolved problems with this and it's still killing me inside... my dream was horrible when he 1st moved away when I woke up crying... I wish he'd come back into the family, I hope I don't go the rest of my life never seeing him again.
I just read the note my brother left before he ran away 5 years ago, that is the sadest thing ever. If anyone ever feels like they need to cry, but just can't, come read this... It's the most depressing thing ever, and on top of this whole family issue, I'm pretty upset right now...
I had to get this all out... I'm sorry, but It's killing me inside
Thank you so much ben, I love you and thank you for always listening to me, you mean the world to me. I was afraid to talk to you about this because I thought you would think it was stupid that I was upset, but I looked up to him so much. And the nightmare, it was so graphic. I've never woke up balling my eyes out & sweating because of a nightmare...
And thank you Julie for caring, I luv yah hun
And to everyone else, If you don't know my family, Don't judge it on this entry. My family is amazing and I love them. Its just there was a lot on my mind...