i want to kiss you on the mouth and tell you i'm your biggest fan

[rachelxlynnx]

i have such wonderful people in my life right now.
i had such a great time saturday night, abbey
came over and we watched sin city.
sean and weiner stopped by for a bit and then
went with my brother to see the laser show.
it's felt so good, so calming
to sit at home and not have to
be anywhere.

i got the hair chopped off, finally.
it was so fucking long, literally at
my shoulders. i don't look good with
that kind of hair. so it's all choppy
and all over the fucking place and it
is a beautiful shade of dark auburn.

i really wanted to spend new years eve
on long island with joe panda. that boy
makes my day every day. it's upsetting,
but of course - it all comes down to how
broke i am.

and after months and months of forcing
myself to get over a certain someone,
i was finally at that point of knowing
that he'll never know that i felt the
way i did about him... because he was so
in love and too consumed with her to
notice me. and i had almost told him so
many times that from all the guy problems
i've had, i've realized that all i wanted
was to find someone like him - that was available.
but after a year and four months of this
stupid childish game i put myself through,
he is available.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i guess we'll see in a month.
i'm making bets that it doesn't work.

i'm going to go get ready for
the circa survive show WITHOUT
nightmare of you. booooo.