(no subject)

[rachelxlynnx]

so you know that thing called dying?
you know, like, how we're all doing it
whether we want to or not?

i want to live.
i want to be happy.

there are so many things that
are holding me back.
and i just want to live.

i want to be who i am
without all of this.

i am being challenged.
i am having the most
troubling time of my life.
and i am lost.
and i have no one to
guide me. this is me
all out on my own.

this is literally me.
me on my own.

i can't feel any less alone.

no, don't call me.
or IM me and say
you're sorry and
you're here for me.
you're not.
because i pretend
like i'm okay and
i'm not. i'm scared.
and i don't know
what is going on
in my life.

some people just don't
realize how lucky they are.

holly came and visited.
oh God, i love her.
joe visits often.
i love him too.
and jessica mc,
she is most fantastic.
jill wrote me.
i haven't heard from
her in a long time.
it made me smile
and cry, i was honestly
that happy.

quarter-life crisis. blah.