(no subject)
what a bummer of a semester this one was. i'm ever so glad it's over. i leave thursday to teach english in italy. the reality of that set in a few hours ago, and it's starting to feel a little overwhelming. i'm in the home stretch with all the things i need to accomplish before i go. i never thought i'd get to go back there so soon. sometime in the next three months, i'll be at my old haunts in rome.
i had a panic attack a few weeks ago, which was awful, but later that day, i had this weird exchange with a bus driver that just made something click. i've been feelings slowly but steadily better since then. i can tell i am starting to deal with some stuff and turn things around because i've been wanting to spend so much time alone lately. when i'm in a funk, feeling better always starts with wanting to spend a lot of time just in my own company.
been listening to "the national" a lot lately. they're truly fantastic in this way that reveals itself just a little bit at a time. it's been a while since i've been this enthused about a band or artist.
i'm feeling like myself again, most days. it's like seeing an old friend after a long time away. this last rough spell was the lowest i've ever felt, i think the closest i've ever come to a mental state that i felt i could justify taking medication to try to fix. i think it was something of a window for me into what happens to someone when they're clinically depressed or have an anxiety disorder. i used to not have much empathy or understanding of people in that position. but after these last few months, i feel like i can start to wrap my head around it. fortunately, i think i've learned enough that in the future, i'll feel more prepared to balance the different areas of my life in a healthy way and cope with stress.
i had a panic attack a few weeks ago, which was awful, but later that day, i had this weird exchange with a bus driver that just made something click. i've been feelings slowly but steadily better since then. i can tell i am starting to deal with some stuff and turn things around because i've been wanting to spend so much time alone lately. when i'm in a funk, feeling better always starts with wanting to spend a lot of time just in my own company.
been listening to "the national" a lot lately. they're truly fantastic in this way that reveals itself just a little bit at a time. it's been a while since i've been this enthused about a band or artist.
i'm feeling like myself again, most days. it's like seeing an old friend after a long time away. this last rough spell was the lowest i've ever felt, i think the closest i've ever come to a mental state that i felt i could justify taking medication to try to fix. i think it was something of a window for me into what happens to someone when they're clinically depressed or have an anxiety disorder. i used to not have much empathy or understanding of people in that position. but after these last few months, i feel like i can start to wrap my head around it. fortunately, i think i've learned enough that in the future, i'll feel more prepared to balance the different areas of my life in a healthy way and cope with stress.