Ack, sleep, anxiety & paranoia.
So...though I've slept a LITTLE bit better over the last 2 nights...last week, I didn't sleep more than a few hours [2ish] almost every night. I started to get anxious Friday, it got a little worse each day since that, until Tuesday night I freaked out a little bit. Tuesday, during the day, I was anxious, but it was deal-able....but it kept getting worse all evening. I hate taking pills when I don't really need to, so I didn't take my Xanax. I save it for when I feel a panic attack coming on - that's worth it. Luckily, that's only 1-2x/month these days, instead of 3-4 times a week like when I was in college [and those were terrible terrible terrible - these are much better]
I KNEW I was being ridiculous...but I started getting spooked by every little thing. Decent one - Hans' foot brushed mine when we were sitting in bed watching tv, and I screamed briefly and got really shaken up. Best one - I got anxious a bit later because I had to go to the kitchen to get myself some food...I went to make myself toast. I was twitchy as I got the bread, I put it in the toaster, and waited.
The toast popped up, and I freaked out. It scared the crap out of me and I screamed briefly again, and then I started crying and I couldn't stop, because I was so freaked out. ...and I was shaking because of my nerves.
I was laughing at myself because it was so ridiculous - I was spooked by the toaster, but I couldn't stop tearing and shaking. I don't jump at movies or haunted hayrides or houses...but I get freaked out by toast. *sigh*
I feel better today...like I mentioned, I slept a bit better the last two nights...I just got reminded why I NEED TO SLEEP...
I told Hans I was going to make some toast again last night [I've been in a toast kick recently for some reason...]...and Hans says, "Are you sure you want to do that?" I didn't get it at first, then I laughed and told him that he was being mean.
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On a better note, I'm going to start singing 1-2 times a month with the worship team at church - this Sunday's my first tim - so have to get going to practice! :-)
I KNEW I was being ridiculous...but I started getting spooked by every little thing. Decent one - Hans' foot brushed mine when we were sitting in bed watching tv, and I screamed briefly and got really shaken up. Best one - I got anxious a bit later because I had to go to the kitchen to get myself some food...I went to make myself toast. I was twitchy as I got the bread, I put it in the toaster, and waited.
The toast popped up, and I freaked out. It scared the crap out of me and I screamed briefly again, and then I started crying and I couldn't stop, because I was so freaked out. ...and I was shaking because of my nerves.
I was laughing at myself because it was so ridiculous - I was spooked by the toaster, but I couldn't stop tearing and shaking. I don't jump at movies or haunted hayrides or houses...but I get freaked out by toast. *sigh*
I feel better today...like I mentioned, I slept a bit better the last two nights...I just got reminded why I NEED TO SLEEP...
I told Hans I was going to make some toast again last night [I've been in a toast kick recently for some reason...]...and Hans says, "Are you sure you want to do that?" I didn't get it at first, then I laughed and told him that he was being mean.
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On a better note, I'm going to start singing 1-2 times a month with the worship team at church - this Sunday's my first tim - so have to get going to practice! :-)