A particularly "faith"-full post.
I spent the last almost hour of my life standing outside in the cold, off and on crying, and waiting for someone to get to work so that I could get into the building because I had locked both my keys and my cell phone in my truck [cell doesn’t work in the office building, so I don’t bother to bring it in]. Traditionally, during that time, I would be inside, reading the bible for a while, and possibly praying. This morning, however, I spent a few minutes sitting - transferring notes in my notebook so I could toss out mostly used old pages, and then spent most of the time outside the front of the building praying.
I mentioned I had been crying off and on for much of the time. It wasn’t for the reason that you probably believe - because I was cold and locked out, overworked and mentally shot [as happens sometimes…lol], but for an entirely different reason: because I felt so much emotion as I was praying out loud.
I began my prayer as I try to always - with thanksgiving and praise [for the grass, that the weather wasn’t nearly as bad as it certainly could have been while I was standing out in it, my husband who is such a spiritual and emotional strength in my life, my friends…], and as I went on, enumerating my blessings - each one more specific and heartfelt than the next - my throat began to feel a bit clenched.
As I prayed further, I spoke in request. For forgiveness…for the un-hardening of hearts - for people in my life and throughout the world to know the love of Christ and His people and that they may open their hearts to others…for those in this world without a voice…for those Christians in other nations [and in this one] who are being persecuted for their faith…for the ministries with which I am affiliated and the problems they are currently facing…for victims of maladies - whatever the form, that they may be shown compassion and love from His people…for God’s people [which means everyone even if you haven’t accepted Christ as savior, God still loves you and wants you to come to Him] to show compassion and love to one another…for those in my life to see the love of Christ is my words and deeds - that I might be a witness to Him, whom I serve…for friends and family to come to Christ so that they may realize their specific calling that God has placed in their lives and from that would walk in His will…for the knowledge of and the strength & ability to carry out God’s will for me in my life [this is my #1prayer all of the time]…for our nation and those around the world…for the protection of those around me - friends, family, co-workers, passers-by…and lastly, I asked again for God to work in the lives of those I know to un-harden their hearts - that they may be free from past hurts, pains, sins/wrong-doings, guilt - so that they can truly know and search out the will of God.
I never shed a tear, but my eyes welled and throat clenched with each successive out-spoken need as I paced in the cold.
I then spent a few minutes in prayer again - thanking God for allowing me to feel such things - for unhardening MY heart concerning the plights in this world and the things in my life. I asked forgiveness for hardening my heart to His love and to the love of those around me, chiefly especially my husband’s [I am, regrettably, indifferent to his love at times - sometimes more than others…].
And now, I am inside, writing this. My coworker got in around 8 and let me in…and it is here where I will finish my prayer [below]. I mentioned that I regularly read the bible in the mornings before I start work…but, for some reason, I don’t take much time for prayer during the morning hours. I tend to say quick prayers often during the day…but for a while now, really haven’t taken the time with God in prayer. Worship yes - most definitely, reading - yes, prayer…no. I know I should, but many times recently, I just don’t.
After thinking and saying so many times in prayer [more than cited above] that my wish was for the hearts of the people to un-harden and to open themselves to one another and to God’s will, I realize only now just how important it is, especially at this time, to do so - to un-harden our hearts and pray to accept the love, mercy, and grace that God wants to bestow on us through His Son - Jesus Christ. This weekend is Resurrection Sunday - or, more commonly called, Easter Sunday. This Sunday is the remembrance and celebration of when Christ, following in God’s will, asked for the hearts of His people to be un-hardened and came as a sacrifice so that we may come before God - blemish free, acceptable and with open hearts.
Lord, again I thank you for opening my heart to You and to Your people. On Sunday, we sang a song of prayer that we would “break our hearts with what breaks Yours,” - that we would feel the needs of Your people as You do, that we would feel the sadness you feel at the injustices, the needs, the lacks of compassion & love, and when they reject Your love - I thank you for opening MY heart in that way, that I might be truly affected by your sorrows and feel pain at the hurts of this world. Father, I thank You for Your continual presence in my life, even when I don’t feel it. I thank You for the hardships I have faced - because they have brought me closer to You, and I thank You for the continual peace and comfort You bring, and I thank you for all of the gifts You have given me. Lord, I ask that You continue to bless this day and each one after it, and may I continually seek Your will in all situations. In Your name, Amen.
I love you all so much. I pray for you often - that you may be guided in God's will, and that you will be given protection and strength through whatever your life brings. Please know I wish to pray for and speak with you always - so if you have a need, know that you can share it [here (comments screened), or e-mail at rachelute@gmail.com / rachel_anne@cheerful.com]. With all of my love and care, --Me.
I mentioned I had been crying off and on for much of the time. It wasn’t for the reason that you probably believe - because I was cold and locked out, overworked and mentally shot [as happens sometimes…lol], but for an entirely different reason: because I felt so much emotion as I was praying out loud.
I began my prayer as I try to always - with thanksgiving and praise [for the grass, that the weather wasn’t nearly as bad as it certainly could have been while I was standing out in it, my husband who is such a spiritual and emotional strength in my life, my friends…], and as I went on, enumerating my blessings - each one more specific and heartfelt than the next - my throat began to feel a bit clenched.
As I prayed further, I spoke in request. For forgiveness…for the un-hardening of hearts - for people in my life and throughout the world to know the love of Christ and His people and that they may open their hearts to others…for those in this world without a voice…for those Christians in other nations [and in this one] who are being persecuted for their faith…for the ministries with which I am affiliated and the problems they are currently facing…for victims of maladies - whatever the form, that they may be shown compassion and love from His people…for God’s people [which means everyone even if you haven’t accepted Christ as savior, God still loves you and wants you to come to Him] to show compassion and love to one another…for those in my life to see the love of Christ is my words and deeds - that I might be a witness to Him, whom I serve…for friends and family to come to Christ so that they may realize their specific calling that God has placed in their lives and from that would walk in His will…for the knowledge of and the strength & ability to carry out God’s will for me in my life [this is my #1prayer all of the time]…for our nation and those around the world…for the protection of those around me - friends, family, co-workers, passers-by…and lastly, I asked again for God to work in the lives of those I know to un-harden their hearts - that they may be free from past hurts, pains, sins/wrong-doings, guilt - so that they can truly know and search out the will of God.
I never shed a tear, but my eyes welled and throat clenched with each successive out-spoken need as I paced in the cold.
I then spent a few minutes in prayer again - thanking God for allowing me to feel such things - for unhardening MY heart concerning the plights in this world and the things in my life. I asked forgiveness for hardening my heart to His love and to the love of those around me, chiefly especially my husband’s [I am, regrettably, indifferent to his love at times - sometimes more than others…].
And now, I am inside, writing this. My coworker got in around 8 and let me in…and it is here where I will finish my prayer [below]. I mentioned that I regularly read the bible in the mornings before I start work…but, for some reason, I don’t take much time for prayer during the morning hours. I tend to say quick prayers often during the day…but for a while now, really haven’t taken the time with God in prayer. Worship yes - most definitely, reading - yes, prayer…no. I know I should, but many times recently, I just don’t.
After thinking and saying so many times in prayer [more than cited above] that my wish was for the hearts of the people to un-harden and to open themselves to one another and to God’s will, I realize only now just how important it is, especially at this time, to do so - to un-harden our hearts and pray to accept the love, mercy, and grace that God wants to bestow on us through His Son - Jesus Christ. This weekend is Resurrection Sunday - or, more commonly called, Easter Sunday. This Sunday is the remembrance and celebration of when Christ, following in God’s will, asked for the hearts of His people to be un-hardened and came as a sacrifice so that we may come before God - blemish free, acceptable and with open hearts.
Lord, again I thank you for opening my heart to You and to Your people. On Sunday, we sang a song of prayer that we would “break our hearts with what breaks Yours,” - that we would feel the needs of Your people as You do, that we would feel the sadness you feel at the injustices, the needs, the lacks of compassion & love, and when they reject Your love - I thank you for opening MY heart in that way, that I might be truly affected by your sorrows and feel pain at the hurts of this world. Father, I thank You for Your continual presence in my life, even when I don’t feel it. I thank You for the hardships I have faced - because they have brought me closer to You, and I thank You for the continual peace and comfort You bring, and I thank you for all of the gifts You have given me. Lord, I ask that You continue to bless this day and each one after it, and may I continually seek Your will in all situations. In Your name, Amen.
I love you all so much. I pray for you often - that you may be guided in God's will, and that you will be given protection and strength through whatever your life brings. Please know I wish to pray for and speak with you always - so if you have a need, know that you can share it [here (comments screened), or e-mail at rachelute@gmail.com / rachel_anne@cheerful.com]. With all of my love and care, --Me.