It's been a while
It sure has been a while - I haven't been around here at all - either to read or to write. Not incredibly long, but put behind a cut.
About me:
First: I decided to take the job as the admin assistant, and it's going fairly well. I had a mini-breakdown last Tuesday because the change of going from having a set schedule to having a completely different schedule and having so much time in the evening that I didn't know what to do with got to me. I NEED that set schedule to function properly, I've learned. I can deal with chaos inside of that schedule, if that makes any sense - but I need to have a general idea what's going to be happening in order to be comfortable with it. I don't like it when I have plans and they get changed last minute for seemingly no reason. That sort of thing...but the job is going fairly well, I work with nice people, I get to go to Office Max all of the time and run errands - which gets me out of the office every few days... So it's alright. I'm still really adjusting to it, and it's still hard, but I'm glad that I decided to take it, even though I'm struggling a bit now - I know that I need to give myself time to get used to the NEW routine. I'm trying to listen to nothing but chill-music in my office to take the edge off... I'm also having trouble because I can't excercise everyday anymore unless I want to do it at 6pm or 430am...neither of which really work for me. 6 is a bit too late for me to do it, though I might start trying...'cause this sucks.
Second: I'm going to be performing in a bellydance show on March 12th with my class from the studio. The costume is really pretty - I'll try to post pictures. I'm not taking a class this month because I was the only one who signed up for my particular class so it was cancelled. I suppose that it's just as well, though - it may have been good to have SOME sort of regularity and the like, but it also could have just added to my stress with this whole job-change situation.
Third: I'm still not sleeping well. I get what I can when I can, but the restoril [combined w/ a small bit of benadryl to kick it in] even at it's lowest dose is leaving me a bit sleepy in the morning, the trazodone is doing absolutely nothing at ANY doseage, and I'm trying to use what little is left of my ativan sparingly because I don't go into the shrink again for a while. At 200mg, the trazodone leaves me in bed all day feeling like I have the worst cold in the world [migraine/headache, stuffy, heavy and sore body, it takes too much energy to BREATHE, even], at 150 it doesn't keep me sleeping and I feel drugged for the first half of the day, and at anything less, it just plain doesn't do anything.
Fourth: I went to Chicago this past weekend to meet with someone concerning a ministry documentary MindAlteringLove is going to be doing sometime [it's still in the very first planning stages]...and though I had a bit of fun visiting, I honestly don't see the point in having to go all the way up there for the weekend just to talk for a few hours. We could have e-mail corresponded and talked over the phone to get the same information. But we had to spend money and time and energy on a weekend trip to Chicago. Not to mention that running around like that more-or-less pointlessly screwed with my head - constant running, constant doing - constantly changing place. I don't do well with short, pointless, high-stress trips.
Fifth: Got super upset with Hans on Sunday night and he pissed me off over and over throughout the day yesterday via e-mail. Things are much better now, though I'm still annoyed.
Sixth: There's a lot I'd like to type, but I'd use up your whole friends page. More or less, it deals with medication randomness and having to watch myself a bit more lately because of the stress I'm dealing with currently. I'm fluctuating a bit more than normal...but hopefully that calms down once I get a bit more used to this new routine. For as well as I think I'm doing considering the circumstances, there have been a few nights that have been pretty bad lately. Not any fun, and something of [more than] a bit of concern to me....
Seventh: There's a lot I haven't said about Point of Need lately that I have wanted to mention, but that'll have to wait. Just problems, is all.
...and Minnie Driver [actress] is a really good [musical] artist. Apparently, she started in music, and has now gone back to it.
About me:
First: I decided to take the job as the admin assistant, and it's going fairly well. I had a mini-breakdown last Tuesday because the change of going from having a set schedule to having a completely different schedule and having so much time in the evening that I didn't know what to do with got to me. I NEED that set schedule to function properly, I've learned. I can deal with chaos inside of that schedule, if that makes any sense - but I need to have a general idea what's going to be happening in order to be comfortable with it. I don't like it when I have plans and they get changed last minute for seemingly no reason. That sort of thing...but the job is going fairly well, I work with nice people, I get to go to Office Max all of the time and run errands - which gets me out of the office every few days... So it's alright. I'm still really adjusting to it, and it's still hard, but I'm glad that I decided to take it, even though I'm struggling a bit now - I know that I need to give myself time to get used to the NEW routine. I'm trying to listen to nothing but chill-music in my office to take the edge off... I'm also having trouble because I can't excercise everyday anymore unless I want to do it at 6pm or 430am...neither of which really work for me. 6 is a bit too late for me to do it, though I might start trying...'cause this sucks.
Second: I'm going to be performing in a bellydance show on March 12th with my class from the studio. The costume is really pretty - I'll try to post pictures. I'm not taking a class this month because I was the only one who signed up for my particular class so it was cancelled. I suppose that it's just as well, though - it may have been good to have SOME sort of regularity and the like, but it also could have just added to my stress with this whole job-change situation.
Third: I'm still not sleeping well. I get what I can when I can, but the restoril [combined w/ a small bit of benadryl to kick it in] even at it's lowest dose is leaving me a bit sleepy in the morning, the trazodone is doing absolutely nothing at ANY doseage, and I'm trying to use what little is left of my ativan sparingly because I don't go into the shrink again for a while. At 200mg, the trazodone leaves me in bed all day feeling like I have the worst cold in the world [migraine/headache, stuffy, heavy and sore body, it takes too much energy to BREATHE, even], at 150 it doesn't keep me sleeping and I feel drugged for the first half of the day, and at anything less, it just plain doesn't do anything.
Fourth: I went to Chicago this past weekend to meet with someone concerning a ministry documentary MindAlteringLove is going to be doing sometime [it's still in the very first planning stages]...and though I had a bit of fun visiting, I honestly don't see the point in having to go all the way up there for the weekend just to talk for a few hours. We could have e-mail corresponded and talked over the phone to get the same information. But we had to spend money and time and energy on a weekend trip to Chicago. Not to mention that running around like that more-or-less pointlessly screwed with my head - constant running, constant doing - constantly changing place. I don't do well with short, pointless, high-stress trips.
Fifth: Got super upset with Hans on Sunday night and he pissed me off over and over throughout the day yesterday via e-mail. Things are much better now, though I'm still annoyed.
Sixth: There's a lot I'd like to type, but I'd use up your whole friends page. More or less, it deals with medication randomness and having to watch myself a bit more lately because of the stress I'm dealing with currently. I'm fluctuating a bit more than normal...but hopefully that calms down once I get a bit more used to this new routine. For as well as I think I'm doing considering the circumstances, there have been a few nights that have been pretty bad lately. Not any fun, and something of [more than] a bit of concern to me....
Seventh: There's a lot I haven't said about Point of Need lately that I have wanted to mention, but that'll have to wait. Just problems, is all.
...and Minnie Driver [actress] is a really good [musical] artist. Apparently, she started in music, and has now gone back to it.